Thread: Blue and Black Chronicles - Short Stories by FlyingBandicoot

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  1. #1 Blue and Black Chronicles - Short Stories by FlyingBandicoot 
    A set of short stories that I am now writing as firstly, little exercises of writing, and secondly, as a series of short stories that are connected. I'm not sure of what rating they should have. Perhaps PG, but its not overly gory or anything like that. It is in third person, as it is my favorite style of reading and writing, and I think best allows the reader to become enveloped in the story. Hope you enjoy it

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    The Lost Boat - Blue and Black Chronicles Story One


    'Hold on, Will!' Edward cried, knuckles white as he gripped the sides of the small wooden boat.

    'I am holding on!' his crewmate snarled in response. The older man barely managed to keep onto both oars when the next wave came. This one was smaller than the last but it still had the strength to hurl the boat into the air.

    Edward braced himself for the inevitable impact. When the moment came, he scowled as a shiver of pain ran up his spine. If this perilous voyage was going to continue any longer, he was sure his back would never recover. It simply hurt too much. Indeed, he half-wondered if he'd cracked a bone or two. It wouldn't be the first time he'd borne such an injury. When he was a lad, he had suffered a broken shoulder from a tumble out of a tree. But he couldn't be sure if the pain he felt then could compare with what he felt now.

    'We're not going to survive this!' he growled when they suffered the wrath of yet another big wave. 'This storm is going to kill us!'

    'Just keep a lookout and shut up!' Will shouted. Wind blasted his wet grey hair about. He spat water out before he added, 'So long as we stay in the boat, the weather will soon leave us and our ship will be able find us!'

    'You can't believe that!' Edward exclaimed miserably. 'We've been dragged by the ocean for half a day and we've seen nothing but water! Trust me,' he added sharply, 'the GreyMajesty is gone. The Captain probably thinks we're dead!'

    He stared despondently at the black evening sky above. Rain hammered his thick limbs like arrows, wind howled in his ears and his clothes were soaked through. He longed for a hot meal and a fire, but more than anything, he wanted to go home to his wife. He had only gone to work on the GreyMajesty galley to get some money for their little boy, but with the way things were presently, he doubted he would ever see either of them again.

    'Careful!' Will warned him, his brown eyes narrowing so that his wrinkled face creased like ancient paper. 'We've got a big one coming up!'

    Edward didn't see the wave come as much as he felt it. Indeed, it was almost as if they flew for a time before they landed onto the water once more.

    The landing caused Edward to feel more pain. He grimaced and muttered a curse at the dark clouds above. As if the sky mocked him in return, he spotted a flock of birds soaring under the blanket of blackness, seemingly oblivious to the weather. He sighed then. How he wished he could fly like them.

    'Will this ever stop?' he asked dejectedly, now facing his crewmate.

    Will only shook his head. 'This next one will probably take us if we don't get our balance right, and-' His words were cut off when a massive wave pulled the boat under the water. For a few seconds, they remained submerged before luck had them back on the surface.

    'Are you all right?' Will asked, shivering.

    Edward heaved a sigh. 'I'll be all right when the Stars see us home.'

    'Now that's strange,' Will said, eyeing something behind Edward.

    Edward turned to see what it was. Far in the distance, he saw a shadow of movement that slipped across the water. It had to be a ship. Could it be that the GreyMajesty had found them?

    'It's not ours,' Will said, seemingly aware of Edward's thoughts. He paused. 'Actually, I'm not sure what it is.'

    'Can we concentrate on surviving?' Edward groaned. He looked at the water and was shocked to see that the waves were calming down. Even the rain appeared to be slowing. 'Maybe it's going to be over,' he muttered hopefully.

    They had to endure another handful of incensed waves before his words rang true. Then it was as if a hand had put out a candle. The rain stopped, the wind faded into whispers and the ocean had become as serene as it was able.

    Relief filled Edward and he allowed a smile to spread across his face. 'Okay, you were right. Now, if we can find the GreyMajesty, we'll be fine.'

    But Will wasn't paying attention.

    'Will?' Edward called him. 'Will, what's wrong?'

    The older man put a finger over his lips. 'There's something not right here.' He turned his head into the direction of where the vessel had been. 'They should have hailed us by now.'

    Edward shifted around to get a better look. It was hard to see much of anything, what with the state of the cloudy sky and the sea's grim reflection of it. But he managed to make out some details. He saw that it was a galley, a longboat with around forty oars spread out as if they were halfway through rowing but for some reason they had stopped. Silhouettes of her crew could be seen across her decks. Some of which were working on the galley's single mast that boasted a large square white flag. Red symbols were etched into its material, but in the evening's grim darkness, Edward couldn't make out what they were.

    'Maybe they're Eight Faction folk,' he suggested. 'You know what they're like.'

    'I don't think so,' Will disagreed.

    By this time, the sea had settled into a near stillness and so Edward took advantage. With a weary heave that caused his back to scream, he got to his feet and scanned the flag of the galley once again. This time he was able to deduce what those symbols were but he wasn't sure if he believed what he was seeing.

    'Is that a boot and star?' he asked carefully. He rubbed his back with one hand and propped himself up with the other.

    'I think so,' Will concurred.

    'But that's a flag for Hallavan,' Edward pointed out. Hallavan had been renamed to Hajeska over two hundred and fifty years ago. To see a ship bearing a boot and star rather than Hallavan's hammer and star was like looking at a ghost of the past.

    'Yes it is,' Will agreed.

    'But what does that mean?'

    There was a pause. 'It means we shouldn't be here,' Will replied warily. 'Why don't you sit down and help me row? We might be able to get some distance away from it if I start now.'

    'Wait! This might be the Stars giving us a chance. If we have a look, we might find food on that ship or at least something that might help us,' Edward protested. 'After all, we won't last on this little boat forever.'

    Will took a breath. 'We'll have a look then,' he conceded. He didn't sound too happy about the idea.

    As they grew closer to the vessel, Edward began to make out more details of the ship. Overall, the vessel looked to be in good shape and the people on the deck seemed to be working her well, except… not one of them moved. At first, Edward wondered if his eyes played tricks on him but then he realized his error. Clearly, a ship as old as Hallavan's name could not hold its crew for so long. So then he expected to see skeletons aboard but even that proved to be false when he saw one near the galley's bow.

    'Are they…?'

    'Frozen,' Will finished his sentence for him. 'All of them are covered in ice.'

    Edward sat back onto the boat. 'It isn't that cold though.'

    'No, it isn't,' Will agreed grimly. 'Well, not that cold."

    There was a splash nearby. Edward moved around the boat to inspect it but he saw nothing. 'What was that?' he muttered, scanning the water's surface.

    Will shrugged his shoulders. 'Maybe it's a fish?'

    There was another splash. This one was closer.

    'I can't see anything,' Edward grumbled. He leaned back and groaned at the pain he felt at the base of his spine. 'Should we try and catch it?'

    Will sighed. 'What with? And even if we did catch it, how would we cook it?'

    'Maybe there will be something on the galley we can use,' Edward suggested. He heard another splash of water. Then another. And one more. 'There must be a few of them.'

    There was a clatter and Edward turned to find out what was really happening. He frowned then picked up the broken frozen bird that had fallen from the sky. The bulk of its form was iced over and hard, even where its legs and wings had snapped off and shattered like bits of glass across the boat.

    'Will, what's happening?' Edward asked his crewmate, as he stared at the broken bird with trepidation. When the man didn't respond, Edward moved over to him and presented the bird. 'Look at it, its frozen solid!' He looked up at the sky, fearing more birds would fall.

    Still, there was no response. Panicking, Edward looked down and put his hand onto the man's shoulder. 'Answer me then!' he shouted, shaking the man. The movement broke Will's arm clean off. Will didn't so much as make a sound.

    Horrified, Edward dropped the arm and the bird, and jumped back. Both frozen pieces of flesh shattered upon impact.

    'Will?' Edward cried. 'Will!'

    As if to taunt him, the galley drifted past and her crew was presented in their icy splendor. Each one was frozen in place. Some seemed to be stuck in poses of horror as if they knew what had happened to them in their final moments and others looked to be oblivious.

    As quickly as he could, Edward scanned his surroundings, hoping to find something that could explain this terrifying phenomenon and perhaps a way to avoid it. However, all he could see was a relentless ocean, a dark sky of clouds and statues of men who stared at him accusingly. Even Will's eyes seemed to shine with hatred when Edward looked into them.

    It was then when he felt a tingling sensation in his fingers. He lifted his hands up to see what was wrong. He gasped. Ice traveled over his fingers and spread across his hands and up his arms. Screaming, he tried to brush the ice off but that only caused two fingers to break off. He tried to move his legs, hoping that he might evade his fate if he jumped into the water but he couldn't move. The ice had spread through his legs too and now it was closing around his chest. He squealed a shrill cry as he stared up to the sky, begging the Stars for mercy. The last sight he saw was of a frozen bird heading right for him.
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  2. #2 Re: The Lost Boat by FlyingBandicoot 
    Nothing happens unless we first dream monisstar's Avatar
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    This was an extremely interesting and quite a nail-biting read I must say! I couldn't stop reading it! You preserved the tension in the piece without going overboard, yet kept the piece alive to a certain degree.. I really enjoyed reading it!!

    Whenever I buy a book, I always look at the synopsis of the story written, and I ALWAYS give a cursory glance to the very first page of the book.. I feel, a story's worth is noticed by the very first line.. It should start off on a very interesting note.. maybe a dialogue (like yours did) or a sudden tension.. (just my view) I can't wait to read the whole thing!

    MORE PLEASE!! I'm totally hooked to the story and would really like to read more! So please continue the story!! (If I could buy this book, I would! )
    Last edited by monisstar; 07-13-2012 at 12:19 PM.
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  3. #3 Re: The Lost Boat by FlyingBandicoot 
    Thank you Glad you enjoyed it.

    This was a short story I wrote recently. I do aim to do more short stories surrounding this premise, I might cook one up soon.

    Along with this little story, I'm writing a fully fledged book that is original fiction. I'm aiming for around 150,000 to 200,000 words, since publishers don't look at books too short, especially for fantasy fiction. I've been writing it for about a year now, honing it and rewriting, and deleting, and moving around and all sorts. I've written books before, but I think this one is the first real serious book that could become something interesting.
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  4. #4 Re: The Lost Boat by FlyingBandicoot 
    Nothing happens unless we first dream monisstar's Avatar
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    Sounds very interesting.. I do the same thing.. Whenever I read the material that I wrote previously, I always feel the need to improve or correct something or the other.. Never satisfied.. When your book is published, I'll surely buy a copy for myself!!
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  5. #5 Re: The Lost Boat by FlyingBandicoot 
    I'll be putting another short story up here soon. It will follow a different character but be related to this one for plot's sake.
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  6. #6 Re: Blue and Black Chronicles - Short Stories by FlyingBandicoot 
    A new short story with a different tone and new characters. Set in the same world as the first one, and the events are loosely connected. It might need some tweaking and I'll get to that in a while, as a fresh set of eyes help correcting errors sooooo much easier. Hope you like it

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    Red Love - Blue and Black Chronicles Story Two

    Daniel fell back onto the garden wall with a grunt. Moving quickly, he pressed his hand onto the large gash at his side. Even with the applied pressure, it bled profusely, and if he didn't stop it, well, he didn't want to think about that right now.

    'At least I got you first,' he muttered grimly, eyeing the dead soldier before him. The armored man lay in a crumpled heap, still clutching the knife that had pierced his neck. The fool had thought he could survive a blade through his fancy blue and black armor, but Daniel wasn't so stupid. One had only to stab at the right angle.

    Hissing through his teeth, Daniel took off his jacket then used it to soak up some of his blood. He wished he'd had some armor himself else he wouldn't be in this mess, but there'd been no time to do anything other than to send his wife and daughter away, and grab a knife from the kitchen.

    Within moments of doing so, a soldier of the Eight Factions had burst through the front door and attempted to kill him. Five minutes had passed since and that man was now dead by the garden pond. Daniel sighed at the bloody sight. He loved that pond.

    Trying not to think of his wound too much, he surveyed the scene around him. Less than a day ago, the cottages and shacks that lined the streets of this village looked as pleasant and beautiful as they were able. Certainly, each one could boast a bit of individuality, and the purple one at the end of a nearby street was especially guilty of that, but overall, the buildings complimented each other to form a wonderful, pretty village. However, all that had changed. Now in the evening sun, stylized windows had been smashed, patterned doors broken, and furniture and the like had all but been destroyed. Yet the true horror wasn't found amongst the houses, no, that lurked on the ground. Dead men, women and children littered the muddy roads and once neat lawns in all manner of ways. Some had been cut to pieces, others didn't seem to have a mark on them, and then there were those that may yet still breathe but were unable to move, so they remained silent lest they attract the wrong attention.

    In comparison, Daniel had been lucky. He'd managed to send his family away and defeat the soldier desperate to kill him. If only he could stop the bleeding.

    'Richard? Richard! Daniel? Daniel?'

    Daniel knew that voice.

    'I'm over here,' he groaned. 'What are you doing here?' He was surprised to see anybody alive in the local vicinity. Last he'd heard, the villagers that had stayed to fight had driven the enemies towards the southern edge to get them away from the residential areas, and there was no plan for retreat.

    Harry, the local butcher approached Daniel tentatively then knelt down before him. 'Mostly seeing if I could find some survivors before I left.'

    Daniel was incredulous. 'Left?'

    'Yes,' Harry said sheepishly, he tilted his head towards the floor. 'Bill told us all to retreat and to help any women and children make it out alive.' He paused then, his eyes landing upon Daniel's injury. 'Is it… bad?'

    Daniel grimaced. 'It'll be fine. It doesn't hurt too much.'

    Harry nodded slowly. 'I've got to get going, but if I see someone who could stitch you up, I'll send them your way.'

    'Don't forget to ask for a bottle of whisky too,' Daniel grinned. His grin vanished when his side sent a sudden jolt of pain through his body. 'Go on then. I might have a couple of sandwiches while I wait.'

    Harry stood up carefully, shaking his head. 'Well,' he said, wiping his face with his jacket sleeve, 'take care of yourself.'

    'You too, Harry. You too.' Daniel inclined his head then watched the other man leave. He wasn't going to ask for help when there was a chance that any remaining children could be saved in his stead. It was better to take care of himself.

    Thus for a time, he remained exactly where he was, and he pressed his coat to his side, waiting for the blood to stop flowing. He reckoned he didn't have very long to sort himself out, as very soon, the enemy soldiers would scout this area before sending in a bunch of them to finish off any stragglers. If Daniel was going to make it, then he'd have to be quick and get going. At the very least, he would need to find a good hiding spot. So, as carefully as he could, he made an attempt to move. It was a big mistake. He let out a cry of agony.

    'Stay still, Daniel!'

    He couldn't believe his ears. Was he hearing things or was that his wife's voice?

    'Harry told me you were hurt,' she cried, her willowy form racing towards him. When she reached him, she brushed back her bushy red hair from her face and crouched in front of him. 'Oh, Daniel! Oh, my Daniel! What on Tor'Censia's happened to you?'

    Daniel was speechless. He shook his head furiously. 'Jennifer, you can't be here! You can't!'

    'Don't worry,' she said, staring at his wound and ignoring his angry face, 'our Sally's safe with my sister. They should be on a boat to Serone by now.'

    'I told you to go!' Daniel shouted. 'This place isn't safe! You'll get yourself killed!' He gasped, feeling the pain from his side now more than ever. It burned tremendously, causing him to cough.

    'Please quiet down, you're bleeding!' Jennifer growled, placing her hands onto his body. 'You're… oh no… oh my… that isn't stopping.' Her thin face scrunched up with worry and fear. With a grunt, she unbuttoned her black cardigan and bundled it up before pressing it against the gash. Daniel braced himself for more pain, but when it came, it didn't seem to hurt as much as before.

    'You really should leave you know,' Daniel said between breaths. 'I can follow you shortly.'

    'I'm not going anywhere,' Jennifer said determinedly. 'If I have to stay here for a week to help you, then that'll be what I'll do.'

    'You were always stubborn,' Daniel muttered, smiling slightly. 'Hey, remember when we first met? Not the time at the shop but when we properly met?'

    'Daniel, this really isn't the time,' Jennifer said crossly.

    'I was on a horse and I lost control when I rode down a hill,' Daniel continued, closing his eyes a little, 'and you, you… ha, you were sat under a tree reading a book.'

    Jennifer looked at him and frowned. 'I need to know if this hurts you,' she said. She paused then, her expression becoming sad. 'Well… well, I was… I was engrossed,' she said weakly. She applied pressure onto the cardigan. 'Does it hurt here?'

    'Oh yeah,' Daniel chuckled, coughing twice. 'You were so engrossed and stubborn that you didn't want to move out of the way, which meant… ugh, excuse me, which meant I had to dive off the horse and protect you.'

    Jennifer wiped her face with her sleeve before carrying on with her work. 'Yes, and you… broke your arm. I remember.'

    'You were so sorry, you took me to the doctor's office and helped put my arm in a sling,' Daniel said, smirking. To his relief, the pain from his side appeared to be fading. Jennifer could work wonders sometimes. 'Then I asked you out on a date, and you said… you said-' He paused to let out a cough.

    'I said, "I wouldn't want to trouble you any further",' Jennifer mumbled, smiling faintly.

    'And then I said, "Hey, that's all right",' Daniel went on, '"trouble me all you want."' He shut his eyes then, feeling sleepy.

    'Not the most romantic story really,' Jennifer commented. She took her hands off Daniel's side, allowing the cardigan to fall onto the ground.

    'We've made up for it, I like… to… think,' he said, nodding. 'Yeah, we… did.'

    'Daniel? Daniel!'

    '…Yeah?'

    'I love you!'

    Daniel grinned. 'I know. I-'
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  7. #7 Re: Blue and Black Chronicles - Short Stories by FlyingBandicoot 
    Nothing happens unless we first dream monisstar's Avatar
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    This was so sad and romantic!! I want to know what happens next!!! x( Please continue the story! I was completely engrossed!! Good read!

    This was not noticeable at first but when I re-read it, I noticed inthe first line "he pressed his hand onto to the large gash at his side" But, really, I would be nitpicking!
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  8. #8 Re: Blue and Black Chronicles - Short Stories by FlyingBandicoot 
    Yeah, I have some tweaking to do. I put it up last night and was going to fix it up today since I had work today. Glad you liked it though ^^
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