Thread: My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live"

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  1. #1 My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live" 

    My Life as a Hater:
    A Semi-autobiographical Story About a Hater and How One "Lives"

    Being a person who some would call a real pain,others a guy who needs to chill and most as possibly one of the jaded and conflicted people in this world;I have been to the darkest depths of sheer cynicism,rage,and entitlement that has made me a sort of pariah in most social circles. This is not helped by the "holier than thou" attitude I have picked up due to finding that a lot of things in life don't excite me and give me a sense of satisfaction like they used to. We all have dreams and expectations in life. Some are big as the Himalayas,or small as molecules that make up this world we live in called life. But either way,when those expectations get compromised in one way or another,everyone seems to have their own way of dealing with it. But the same reaction to such an event not quite meeting the horizon is disappointment. Now in life,we tend to fail quite a bit before we get to our destination and it is inevitable that we do so to grow. Being somewhat of an obsessive perfectionist,this is one truth that I have yet to fully comprehend even now as I'm writing this. We all have struggles in life and how each and every one deals with them as individuals are just as varied. The thing with haters,the kind of mindset focuses on being disappointed that something didn't go as planned and that sense of entitlement as a result of human hubris can lead to very ugly results. An example is that I really hate Hollywood and its many morally bankrupt practices to make a movie.

    This is an example looking into said practices and you can see where I'm coming from. But the thing is,where most people are able to let go and move on with their lives,haters seem to forget that step and instead dwell on what is most likely something that they cannot change. It is after all,easier to complain and bitch about something rather than to actually put one's heart into actually doing something about it. As a member of a loud minority of individuals who have lived in such away,I will be the even fewer to go out and say this,"as a result of choosing the easy way out of everything,I have lived a life of shame and pettiness that not only gets ignored by many people but also tend to alienate others as a result". There are times where people would tell me to chill and relax and I asked why. I think the real answer to that is,I'm much too hooked into my narrow way of thinking like a drug addict has for his/her substance. I either don't want to give it much for whatever twisted euphoria and excuse it brings me and would much rather continue such a shameful life-style.

    This world is hardly what many would call fair and some like myself would see that as an excuse for the things one would say under this narrow-minded influence,but not only it hardly changes anything(usually for the better as most would intend)it only blinds a person further and makes them dig the hole even deeper. Also,another reason why haters would go above and beyond to defend this viewpoint is the fact that they hardly understand half the things going on when it comes to the bigger picture. There are bigger things in life than what kind of comic book movie is going to be torn to shreds and what other stupid quote that comes from famous people. Being a person raised in a first-world country,I was blinded from bigger problems such as a lower standard of living to other people in the world and people dying of terminal illness. Selfishness and entitlement comes from one feeling that they should have something just cause and it comes from,in turn,taking one's life for granted. I guess you could say,if a person from Africa would look at my life and see that I'm complaining about it despite it being much better than I thought,all sorts of anger and frustration would come from the person looking at a life the spectator has seen. And the frustration is justifiably so as what am I really complaining about and does it make sense? Of course,the lapse in logic is not uncharacteristic of humanity but there is a dualistic nature for everything stupid we do as people,there are things that we are capable of that can be seen as incredible if not divine. Countless times have people chosen the easy road than to fully realize their potential and in cases such as my own,this frustration of not being able to fulfill things in life have clouded my said judgment and have influenced on where in my life have I allocated all my resources to. Let's just say that I haven't done a good job at said management.

    But the one thing that is done when haters would find something to complain about is also but not always a need to hide from one's own self-loathing. Same can be said the other way as these negative actions and viewpoints can create more fuel to feed on one's self-loathing and before you know it,you find this very routine and it gets harder and harder to escape.

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  2. #2 Re: My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live" 
    "The Good Will Ambassador of Love and Courage" Caleb Hyles's Avatar
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    Oct 2010
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    Please continue on! I very much am enjoying your view points


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  3. #3 Re: My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live" 
    Quote Originally Posted by Caleb Hyles View Post
    Please continue on! I very much am enjoying your view points

    Are you serious? I mean,I did this more of a cathartic diary and introspection of sorts. I didn't think someone,in this site let alone,would want to read this. Okay,I guess......

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  4. #4 Re: My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live" 
    No, no! Continue!
    It is fascinating and cathartic from this side, too, to see what fuels certain attitudes.
    Understanding is a good thing.
    --Julie Hoverson

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  5. #5 Re: My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live" 
    You know it has been a while since I've posted anything on this and for those wary of my negative reputation,it is really easy to see why. I'm starting to feel that although initially this was done with good intentions in mind,I'm rather afraid that it has devolved into something along the lines of my own hypocrisy as I clearly have demonstrated that I haven't really learned enough to say anything on this matter in a way to make this legitimately insightful.

    No matter how I "try" to get out of my bad habits,it seems that they are much harder to break as they die just as easily as cockroaches in a nuclear winter. I really feel like I don't have anything to say to make any of this credible as my actions clearly have stated that I haven't really learned anything at all during the time since I started writing this article. I can remember ending things in my initial entry of this article dealing with how self-loathing is probably one of the biggest fuel for haters and their rather destructive and very cynical way of thinking. This is an internal issue that feels more and more hopeless each day as one in this situation who has been to used to feeling sorry for oneself that it has become almost involuntary. My life isn't going to change for the better if this keeps up and although I understand the concept behind that line of thought,I can't really grasp the execution.

    It seems much easier to wallow in self-pity as opposed to trying something new and different to the point where it is a rather preposterous scenario of one such as myself being happy with my own life. Part of me wants something better but another says that I'm too lazy and that I don't have a reason to try therefore creating a self fulfilling prophecy of misery. But I think what kills my path to bettering myself is that I'm not very consistent with that path as my changes in mood are rather polarizing as it would seem. One can't make a good structure without a solid foundation and last time I checked,being angry and distraught all the time isn't the most solid of mental states. What I have in the rewards for choosing a better life,I lack in a focus or something solid to stand by. A lot of my goals in life feels very lofty as they feel more like whims than actual life goals and questioning something without finding a way to make practical use of the knowledge gained is a danger in it of itself.

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  6. #6 Re: My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live" 
    You know, this was quite interesting, to say the least.

    As someone who has a mental disorder (although I have not got a diagnose yet), I know exactly what you mean regarding the part of feeling like a hypocrite. Even when I know that some of my actions can cause more harm than good to me, I do them anyway.

    It's not bad to be aware of your own bad habits. Being self-aware is a sign of you at least comprehending the situation. The problem lies in how you have formed your current life, which is affecting you in such a way where it makes you react the way you do. Seeking help and changing your way of living your daily life are the next steps in solving the issue.

    Trust me, even if I don't have the exact same type of behaviour as you do, I can relate a lot to this. If you really want to get a better life, you must seek help and find strategies to overcome your personal weaknesses. It will be hard, but it's the only way you will be able to go on.
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  7. #7 Re: My Life as a Hater-A semi-autobiographical story about haters and how they "live" 
    That was a little hard for me to read, but only because I could relate to it sharply... Whatever skills, morals and wisdom I've gained is completely and utterly useless if I can't find a solid path forward. 'Self-fulfilling prophecy of misery' indeed; it's almost not worth it for me to think because I'm always going to inevitably get caught in that same trap. I have a faint idea of what I want in life, but when it comes to execution, I just can't seem to get away from a conflicting train of thoughts -- how do I get there, is it worth it, is it conducive to my future goals, wait what are my future goals, are THEY worth it, etc. then it immediately goes to berating myself for not being able to figure this mess out. I'm not good at setting a goal for myself, because I always end up questioning it; I'm much better at helping someone else with their goals, then I can leave that part of thinking up to them and focus entirely on the product. I seriously need better discipline and a strong strategy to work by, otherwise I'm getting nowhere.
    Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow.
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