Thread: [SCRIPT] Ouran HighSchool Host Club Abridged ~ Episode 1

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  1. #1 [SCRIPT] Ouran HighSchool Host Club Abridged ~ Episode 1 
    ~A Strong Soul with A Strong Mind~ Nightwing2199's Avatar
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    When boredom strikes me, I start getting random ideas/thoughts in my head. At which point....this happens. One of the random scripts I made for an Abridged series.

    Ouran Abridged Ep. 1

    Tamaki: Amazingly handsome men who glisten simply by being alive, and mildly okay-looking girls who fangirl about said men. That is Twilight- I mean Ouran Academy. In that academy, is the Host Club. A group of young men from Ouran who decided to make it their hobby to cause schoolgirls to fangasm. And they get paid for it. ......waaait.

    (Abridged Opening ~ Sakura Kiss

    Haruhi: So how’s heaven, mom? And by heaven I mean the place you moved to escape from dad since he started being a tranny. An old music room? Well I guess this is a good place to write in peace. –Opens the door-

    Byakuya: Scatter, Senbonsakura…

    Haruhi: OH MY GOD I WALKED INTO BLEACH- oh no wait, just a bunch of hot guys.........crap, it IS Bleach ...a bunch of overly sexy and homoerotic males gathered in one spot? ...seems safe enough

    Hikaru and Kaoru: Oh look, ANOTHER guy.

    Kyoya: That makes the 6th one today. You guys know what to do

    Tamaki: My good sir, I am called Prince Tamaki! And we will now be raping you!

    Haruhi: ...aren't you that gay european prince?

    Tamaki: Yes, I'm that gay euro- WHAT? I AM BY NO MEANS EUROPEAN, YOU PEASANT

    Haruhi: And he doesn't deny the 'gay' part?

    Tamaki: THAT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE. NOW, TO COMMENCE THE RAPING

    Kyoya: Wait! You can’t rape him…he’s a commoner! His poor genes might wipe off on us.

    Tamaki: THAT'S WHAT A COMMONER LOOKS LIKE?! He looks so...poor...

    Haruhi: -Thinks- Snobbish rich people....

    Tamaki: Anyways, welcome to the Host Club. I am Vic Mignona, the prince!

    Haruhi: Aren't you that gay European prince??

    Tamaki: Yes, the gay european-WHAT?! NO!!! I AM 100% STRAIGHT! Boys, I changed my mind. We’ll rape him regardless of his poor genes!

    Haruhi: Yeah? Well I’ll break your vase while shaking uncontrollably!

    Tamaki: And now you're our slave

    Haruhi: *thinks*...come to think of it, breaking a priceless vase belonging top rich people was probably NOT one of my most clever moves…

    -Host Club is open for business-

    Random Girls: So the Host Club has a slave now??

    Tamaki: Indeed we do. He’s quite weird, and has a tendency to cosplays as a garbage can…but I’m sure he won’t prove too troublesome.

    Haruhi: I made instant coffee

    Tamaki: Instant what?!

    Haruhi: Instant COFFEE

    Tamaki: …are you a wizard? No…wait, I think I remember reading about this instant coffee. It’s something commoners get every week from their job!

    Haruhi: That would be a paycheck

    Tamaki: I WILL TRY THIS CHECKPAY

    Haruhi: It’s paychec- I mean coffee…

    Tamaki: And I am Vic Mignona! So be quiet and make it, Host Club slave.

    Haruhi: -Thinks- Must resists putting poison in the coffee…must…resist.

    Princess Chick: I would think we would notice if someone put poison in the coffee, huh?

    Haruhi: *awkward silence* ….mental note: avoid this girl at all costs

    Tamaki: Now, let us begin the drinking! Who wants to be the first victim- I mean, taste-tester?

    Random Girls:
    1st one – I’m not sure about this…
    2nd one – I’m afraid my dad will chain me up again if I drink this…

    *awkward silence*

    Tamaki: Just for that, you’re goin first.

    Haruhi: -sighs- Why am I even here??

    Honey: -yawns- Sorry everyone. I just woke up from a nap.

    Mori: Yeah…it wasn’t pleasant.

    -insert Bunny cloud explosion-

    Mori: And I had to clean up the mess.

    Honey: So, ladies, do you have any cake?

    Random Girls: We don’t actually…

    Honey: I’m afraid I didn’t say it clearly enough….do…you…have…cake?

    Random Girls: We told you we don’t

    *freeze-frame on Honey’s smile*

    Mori: Ah, I remember last time Honey was like this. Poor Japanese people.

    Haruhi: Wait what?

    Honey: Haru-chaaaan, I’m going to go get my katana and assassination knife. Can you hold Oussa-chan for a bit? -pulls Oussa-chan out-

    Oussa-Chan: -pedo voice- howdy, girlie…

    Haruhi: Umm….did it just talk to m-?

    Honey: Nope

    Haruhi: But I-

    Honey: Nope

    Haruhi: ….

    Oussa-Chan: Be sure to leave your window open tonight, girly.

    Haruhi: I’ll be sure to lock it really tight.

    Honey: Take good care of him!

    Oussa-Chan: So, girly…wanna see MY funny bunn-

    Haruhi: Be quiet or I’ll have Tamaki hold you

    Oussa-Chan - oh god please no

    Kyoya: Hello.

    Haruhi: KYOYA! Do you just appear out of no where?

    Kyoya: Think of me as Batman….except…nothing like Batman

    Tamaki: I'm behind you now~ -blows on Haruhi's neck-

    Haruhi: AHHH!! Great, now I’m surrounded by the two creepy ones.

    Tamaki: We are not creepy at all, dear Haruhi~ My theme song shall prove it!~

    *screen pops up saying “one listening of “Guilty Beauty Love” later”*

    Haruhi: …that just makes me think you’re not only creepy, but a self-absorbed egomaniac as well. I mean that in the most offensive way possible, of course.

    -Tamaki starts being sad-

    Hikaru: Ouch, talk about harsh.

    Kaoru: Yeah! Can’t believe we never thought of that. Nice goin, poor guy.

    Haruhi: Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll find a better way to insult him later today.

    Tamaki: -gets up- I recover quickly like this, cause I'm Vic Mignogna. But…I see you have cold, calculating, words that sting the very heart of a person! That is exactly what Hosts Clubs are about! So we’re going to make you a host!

    Haruhi: Wait, aren’t Host Clubs supposed to be about handsome guys entertaining girls?

    Tamaki: Silly commoner, you have much to learn about this world.

    -5 DAYS LATER-

    Haruhi: -walks out in the Host uniform- OK, do I look OK like this?

    Tamaki: WONDERFUL! Except you took 5 days to change

    Haruhi: Oh, I was thinking of the best way to hide my cleavage

    Tamaki: Your what?

    Haruhi: Nothing.

    -Haruhi's 1st Day on the Job-

    Haruhi: -thinks- What do I say??

    Random Girls: Haruhi…you’re so cute. Almost like a girl.

    Haruhi: -thinks- they’re onto me….gotta be discreet…ummm…

    Haruhi: Twilight sucks! -thinks- perfect!

    Tamaki: Spying is greeeat~ And totally not severely frowned upon in our society!

    Princess Chick: VIC! Stop looking at everyone and entertain me!

    Tamaki: So sorry Princess, but I have recently taken up spying classes, and wanted to know if they were paying off. Haruhi, come here a second!

    Haruhi: Yeah?

    Tamaki: I'd like you to meet my most loyal customer. Her name is Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the third and a half! But some people just call her Dot.

    Haruhi: Well hi whor- I mean Dot. Did I say whore? Whoops, slip of the tongue.

    -Scene Skip-

    Princess Chick: So I heard you had your stuff in the fountain, such a shame.

    Haruhi: Oh yes. What a shame it would have been. Had I not gotten to see an amazingly hot guy take off his shirt and help me find it. And yes, I DO mean Tamaki.

    Princess Chick: …I am Banana Fanna. You stole my love. Prepare to die

    Haruhi: what?

    -Princess grabs Haruhi-

    Princess Chick: I AM BEING ASSAULTED BY A COMMONER!

    Random person: No one cares, go away!

    Princess Chick: …I hate you all. *leaves crying*

    Tamaki: Now, slave, because you made a girl cry, we have decided to up your quota by 900. Sounds completely reasonable. Now go change, you’re wetting the carpet.

    -5 Seconds Later-

    Tamaki: Hey, I got some some complementary Host Club towels for you. -sees Haruhi is a girl and light bulb goes on- Haruhi...you’re…A BEAR?

    Haruhi: That makes no sense and I don’t know how you came to that conclusion. I am a girl. You know, like those you see fifty times a day in the Host Club? Ring a bell?

    Tamaki: Hmm….maybe….do these ‘girls’ have a connection to Big Foot?

    Haruhi: No…

    Tamaki: Then I don’t know them. Regardless, how nice that you are a girl. Now, come along, get changed, we mustn’t keep our guests waiting.

    Haruhi: …can I quit now?

    -ENDING-

    -Ending Scene: Honey and Oussa-Chan having cake together-

    Honey: Man, those girls sure were nice to give us cake, huh, Oussa-chan?

    Oussa-Chan: Yyyeaah…shame they were so bloody. Blood doesn’t come off me easily, you know?

    Honey: Oussa-chan?

    Oussa-Chan: Yeah?

    Honey: There’s no more cake.
    Last edited by Nightwing2199; 02-15-2012 at 09:27 PM.


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  2. #2 Re: [SCRIPT] Ouran HighSchool Host Club Abridged ~ Episode 1 
    ~A Strong Soul with A Strong Mind~ Nightwing2199's Avatar
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    Giving this a BUMP!~


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    UltimaSaviorDragon's Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds Abridged - Rua (Starting Episode 11)

    TheMaskedMockingBird / PurpleMokona101's THE Ouran Host Mangadub - Soga Kazukiyo
    StarforceAbridged's MegaMan Starforce Abridged - ???
    TeamDaiGurren's Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Abridged - Adult Simon
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  3. #3 Re: [SCRIPT] Ouran HighSchool Host Club Abridged ~ Episode 1 
    ~A Strong Soul with A Strong Mind~ Nightwing2199's Avatar
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    BUMP!

    Edited the script ^^


    Current Roles
    TeamNinjaStar's Naruto Shippuden Abridged - Asuma, Danzo
    UltimaSaviorDragon's Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds Abridged - Rua (Starting Episode 11)

    TheMaskedMockingBird / PurpleMokona101's THE Ouran Host Mangadub - Soga Kazukiyo
    StarforceAbridged's MegaMan Starforce Abridged - ???
    TeamDaiGurren's Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Abridged - Adult Simon
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  4. #4 Re: [SCRIPT] Ouran HighSchool Host Club Abridged ~ Episode 1 
    This is quite entertaining. Especially usa-chan because I never really imagined that bunny having a pedo voice. Sounded appropriate anyways.
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  5. #5 Re: [SCRIPT] Ouran HighSchool Host Club Abridged ~ Episode 1 
    ~A Strong Soul with A Strong Mind~ Nightwing2199's Avatar
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    Thank you. I wanted to give this a different feel from the countless others I've seen around YouTube.

    So I thought the Pedo voice for Oussa-chan would fit perfectly.


    Current Roles
    TeamNinjaStar's Naruto Shippuden Abridged - Asuma, Danzo
    UltimaSaviorDragon's Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds Abridged - Rua (Starting Episode 11)

    TheMaskedMockingBird / PurpleMokona101's THE Ouran Host Mangadub - Soga Kazukiyo
    StarforceAbridged's MegaMan Starforce Abridged - ???
    TeamDaiGurren's Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Abridged - Adult Simon
    Reply With Quote  
     

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