Online Relationships

[Hokage Titan]

Completely with Seymour on this.

I'm currently in a relationship with a member here on the boards. I've known him since we both started and I couldn't be happier. Yes, it is difficult to keep it going and there are moments when we both think "This is too difficult" but we push on and are really happy even if we aren't personally with eachother. That just makes the visits more exciting, in my opinion, since it is a rare opportunity. He's supposed to be coming over for Christmas this year and I honestly cannot wait for it. Those butterflies stay with you and having to meet up only every so often gives you that nervous feeling back as though it's still new.

It does take alot of commitment and if you really love the person then you'll continue to push on. I personally believe that people are more open on the internet, they can speak to people about anything and reveal their true selves. My mother met her boyfriend online and they now have my gorgeous little sister between them, living happily together. That is just one of the stories that I have about LD relationships even if they were at least in the same country. It is difficult for everyone but even more difficult when in completely different countries and takes alot more effort [I'm in the UK, he's the US]. However, if you do truly care about the person then it really is a lovely thing. When you meet, you value your time more than you would if you saw the person every single day.

That's just my personal opinion.

I completely agree with this, you hit every point I was going to Amy. I haven't been happier since we continued to make it work. I'll be there for Christmas and I can't wait, the butterflies gather more and more with each day.

If you truly care for the person then you will truly value the time you'll have together.

[S.J.]

Well, I have mixed feelings about on-line relationships, the prospect of falling in love is nice, but then you have to deal with the long distance, text messages and phone calls. It really adds to the heartache when you realize your phone bill has hiked to the price of a dinner, a movie and a trip to an amusement park. I do not know about anybody else, but that makes my heart sink... and to think that I could have used that money to treat him or her to a night on the town, rather than spending it indoors, on the phone with me. In most cases, I felt helpless to protect, to nurture and to console them when they needed me. In addition, having been in a few on-line relationships when I was younger, I found it was hard on me. I am quite the affectionate person and crave physical contact. Being in an online relationship makes that quite impossible. It is true, that it is not for everyone and it takes a certain amount of courage in order to trust someone to the extent of sacrifice. In truth, you do not know who they really are. You could be talking to someone who is manipulatively deceptive for all you know and those people do exist, I am sad to say, even more so on-line. So, tread carefully my friends. Although, there can be good! If one is willing to persevere. I have had two on-line relationships succeed in the face of doubt. One that lasted four years and the other three with the prospect of marriage, which in the end, did not work out as you can imagine. However, nothing is in stone... and a person cannot help with whom they fall in love. Personally, if it were a lifestyle of choice, I would prefer not to fall into the circle of on-line relationships, but since I am constantly on the computer, well... that's quite difficult to avoid if you wear your heart on your sleeve like I do. See! CONFLICT!!! I am too old for this shiet. xD

[Ovarku]

Not for me, because I can't handle the fact that I could have an online relationship and not meet each other, as that is how I see this; there is no point in it if there is no guarantee the both of you meet in that lifetime. It can be an emotional strain too. This is my same beef with online dating sites, I also feel it is the reason that puts me behind everyone else who is going out and meeting people in the local area, just because I'm in an "online relationship" holding out the chance that I could travel to that place, just to meet the person I'm dating.

Shorter version, even though I have never EVER been in a relationship, nothing could sway my opinion on the fact that it's hard to beat a relationship with a certain physical intimacy, rather than online intimacy, because then you'd be in a situation where you can actually do shit together, and go anywhere together.

[Luchia]

I have been in a Online Relationship once before.
It didn't last more than a week though because he didn't wan to commit. so he broke up with me. But that was fine.

I have also been in a long distance relationship. We were together for 2 years, the first year he lived close to me, then he had to move to another province. He broke up with me for a girl that was 5 years older than us (we ere 14 at the time and she was 19... yeah =_=) Then I also found out after he cheated on me with her and another guy =_= yeah that didn't go over well...

So honestly its all in the person. If you can commit. It just seemed everytime I was in a LDR they either couldnt commit or cheated on me. I really respect everyone who can hold on on a LDR . Like I said its all on the people.

[RachelMichelle]

In one, we make it work, and we are pretty happy~

it's all about really committing to it, and knowing you got to fight for it, you also make plans to see them personally, and when you do, it's honestly the best feeling I have ever felt in my life.
I know some seem skeptic about it, or call me weird, but honestly, I see more LD relationships work out a hell of a lot better than face-to-face ones.

How can I not agree to this? I've been with the boy for 2 year's, and honestly, I haven't met anyone better.

Yes, it's hard, and we fight, a lot. About stupid thing's to, but, we always work it out, and make it work. We've had our rough spot's, we've nearly ended it as well, but, you just keep on trucking, because this person mean's the world to you. Sure, you don't see them face-to-face daily, but, that's alright, it makes the moment's you do see them more special and more memorable.
It's all about trust, and being fully honest with your feeling's. It's not about pick-up line's or being physical, it's about being with a person you want to be with, because of who they are, not what they look like. Look's are nice, but personality is what count's in the end.
I do want to hold them physically though, and be held by them, and sometime's it's just not possible, but you deal with it, and it makes you stronger as a person, as well as deepen's your relationship. You just keep going and going.
I know not all work out, hell, I know for a fact more up-close one's don't tend to work out, but if you really put yourself into it, you can make it last. I have, for 2 year's now, and I plan to for a lot longer than that.

[Ribb0ns]

It's interesting to see this post on here.

I am currently in an online relationship with someone I met here on VAA. Before this however, I thought online dating was dumb and would never work. My view is definitely changed now. I've known him for almost a year now and we've been officially together for about a month. I HIGHLY recommend knowing the person for a long while before making anything official. Get to know them.

Honestly, I've never been happier. Online relationships do take a lot of work, effort, and above all honesty. Though I know their are going to be bumps on the road (the distance, mis-communications, limited time together, what happens next) It is well worth it. I never meant to fall in love with him, but it just kinda happened.

Pros for online:
You get to know the persons PERSONALITY first
you can meet so many more people online than you would in person
skype helps you see them (believe me, it feels like we're in the same room when we're talking)
everything they do for you seems so much more special. (mailing letters, talking to them, seeing them in person)

cons for online:
you don't get to see them in person, unless you travel for a limited time
if you decide to continue the relationship, there are sacrifices to think about (moving, jobs, etc)

He is coming to see me in December for Christmas and I am SO excited. I've never been more excited to see anyone in my life! So yes, there are cons and those cons are big ones, but in my book, with this guy? The pros outweigh the cons 10 fold any day.

[D3mo]

I'm with Seymour and AmyAnn on this one.

4 of my relationships have been online, and its taxing at times on your patience & emotions, but in the end, when you finally see that person face to face, its the most rewarding feeling in the world.

[Aziral]

Shorter version, even though I have never EVER been in a relationship, nothing could sway my opinion on the fact that it's hard to beat a relationship with a certain physical intimacy, rather than online intimacy, because then you'd be in a situation where you can actually do shit together, and go anywhere together.

Yeah, I'm going with Ovarku on this. In fact, I agree with a number of people who have posted their opinion on the topic.
People tend to act differently when online so one might simply be falling in "love" with a personality that doesn't really exist. Such relationships -are- capable of happening, only if the two parties are absolutely determined on it working.
I honestly find it a little awkward, falling for words that are typed to you by someone who you might not -actually- know.

[Erica]

First off, to anyone who is in a LDR with someone who they've never met with in person or don't know a hell of a lot about... be careful. There's a reason why a lot of people get concerned and frown upon others who are in a LDR.

Disclaimer aside, I've been in a LDR for just over two years now. We had known each other online for MANY years before actually meeting at Otakon in 2009. Funnily enough, there was no semblance of romantic interest between us until the very last day of the convention.. and after that, things just slowly evolved. Somehow either or us managed to fly out to the respective person's home about every 3-4 months. It was pricey, but worth it, I think. We've met each other's parents and everything.

He moved out to LA a few months ago and after I graduated in June, I worked a LOT to afford to move to LA to live with him. We've been living together for a month now and things have been swell :3

[ProjectTrinity]

I'm bi.

/shot

Different strokes for different folks. Can the two handle their situation maturely and remain true to themselves? Yes? Okay; end of the Sonata. Just like everything else in life, I am ultra-picky with who I choose to go out with. I've only dated 2 girls out of the possible dozens I could have easily have chosen. That isn't ego, gentlemen; just the unfairness of life kicking in. And trust me, it makes little difference to me if my affections strike on or offline. If you play your cards right, it results in the same endgame. That said, safeguards like pickiness *is* a helpful tool I earnestly recommend for everyone going out there on the online dating world. Moreso than you would offline. Just a bit. >_>

EDIT:

Official relationship 1: Online for 6 months. she left me for a jerk that was even more of a jerk than me. She's The Perjurer's opening animator.

Unofficial relationship: Online for around 6 months. She had my son. Other than that, we don't talk about her, we don't think about her, we don't remember her. She's the reason why I'm not in the nice guy category anymore. D<

Official relationship 2: Online for just over a year and now within driving distance. The only one of the three who's both mentally competent in my obnoxious requirements for a mate and isn't batsane insane. Still with her. I doubt I'll ever get anyone better. =3