Keep on bumping on, yo!
Keep on bumping on, yo!
Well, this was a ride. SPOILERS being openly mentioned below, read at your own risk.
A bit shorter and less fantastical than your usual work, I like that you tried to do something different and a bit more grounded. However, the names of the characters are out of fantasyland in most cases which was a curious choice. You seem to be shooting for a more realistic veneer here but the names of the characters are decidedly uncommon at best and definitely out of sci-fi or fantasy lore at worst. It makes me wonder if this story truly does take place on Earth, which seems to be your intention but you don't openly say so in any of the characters' dialogue.
That aside, this story twisted and turned all over the place. I get a sense of a Fight Club or The Ruins, how one simple decision gradually unravels everything and there is always one wrong choice made by a character that makes the situation gradually spiral out of control more and more, setting up one heck of a closing scene. The closing scene also throws a sense of deception and that the situation could further worsen, as what you had hinted, it seemed that Barbra should have been the character shot by the sniper, not Xypher. It seems very likely that Christian lied to the sniper and ordered Xypher shot to inflict the biggest amount of emotional damage to the Vindili family. Of course, if I'm right, this will make character interactions in the novel very tense, and could set Barbra off a dangerous, death-wishing rampage . . . and probably make internal Vindili relations very stressed if it was supposed to be Barbra who was shot. It's a very interesting ending here and I wish there was more but I understand you leaving the answers for the actual novel and instead leaving us to guess the truth.
The voice acting in general was very good and more than got the job done. Even voice actors with smaller roles like River and Jin were professional and there is no quality dip from mains to extras like there often is in amateur audio productions. It really gives a sense of a complete whole, with no inconsistency. SageHalo was great as Huron, Kamuro's cheerful psychotic Xypher was a standout, and the casual madness of Barbra courtesy of Mippa was the most memorable of all the characters . . . besides the evil, smarmy Christian portrayed by Seymour. Christian seems to me like he could very well be the main villain of the novel, and may not be a simple contractor, but a character with designs of his own. It will be interesting to see how the story progresses from this point.
While I wish there was a bit more world-building (or heck, world establishment) this was an intense, noir-esque yarn about two psychotic families on a crash course with each other. Your little storytelling experiment then was a fun one and I hope to see you further experiment with genres and types of conflicts beyond what you've done here. I guess what nitpicks I do have are comparatively minor in the grand scheme of things, as the novel will undoubtedly answer all of the questions I have.
Hope there is a next time from you.
Well look who's finally back from PT-vacation
^ Why thank you for the helpful review! As of now, setting up background information on the world is my greatest weakness as a writer. (Or I'm just absurdly lazy) Either ways, that's an unpardonable flaw that's a work in progress. To answer questions without ranting incessantly: It's literally an alternative Earth. It's called "Earth", but the events/history/characters are slightly different from our own. I do also have to be a jerk and say that the 4 completed novels I worked on for this universe do not take place directly or even near the events that take place in this audio series. The story's continuation won't resume until I eventually start on "Our Crazy World", which is the bridge between audioplay and novels. ...Didn't want you to pick up the novel thinking you'd see some more Christian anytime soon.
Overall, thank you muchly for taking the time giving us feedback! As you can tell, the thread's post rate when we aren't waving our veteran cane around is quite depressing. lol I'm not sure I'll be making any audioplays anytime soon (Thank you, VAA), but it's nice to know that someone found our work enjoyable. Very much appreciated. = )
Bump - le' bump.
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