Castle Night Wolf (Action, Adventure, Fantasy, and some romance. PG-13)

[JJGrijalva]

(Intro, with some spoilers)
The Planet named, Kilmarty

By JJ

Author’s note: This story line and all the characters that appear in this story are copyrighted to me. If you want to use any of my characters, ask me first. Enjoy.


A lonely universe on the corner of the Milky Way lay a planet like no other. The people of third planet in the Solar System are animals. The population of this planet has no humans. Morphs live here and thrive on this planet. Balance and peace coincide with the people of Kilmarty. A fox on this planet won’t go after nothing else, but fish and plants. Everything lives off of fish and plants, but the fish themselves. It has been like this for millions of years.

A panther by the name of Shobeck wants to disrupt the balance and peace of this planet. His army is strong and can not be defeated. His magic powers are like no others, on Kilmarty. It seemed like the planet was doom, but there was still hope for this planet. Ranpu the panther of light is believed to be held within a mask. This mask is also believed to be the maker of Kilmarty and all who live on its ground. Even Castle Night Wolf’s evil king, Shobeck.

Truth be told, it wasn’t because of Ranpu that Kilmarty was made. This planet was made by Dr. Peter Lunoise, a genius at genetic configuring. Every morph’s ancestor on Kilmarty came from the genius mind of Lunoise. Lunoise defines morphs as half-human and half-animal or mammal. Even thou the genetic make up of animals and mammals are different from human genes, he found a way to fuse them and make them coincide. The first successful morph he made was a male panther named Ranpu, since he came out white as light. The next successful morph was a female panther named Maylen Kuarayami, since she came out dark as space. He made these two to mate and make morphs of panthers, but there was a flaw in his plan. Ranpu didn’t like Maylen.

To him, she was too evil to become his life mate. He was right, because before they were arranged to mate. Maylen killed a newborn morph that was going to be come like a child to Lunoise. She convinced Lunoise, that the newborn morph died because of complications. Ranpu told Lunoise what really happen and he sealed Maylen away, so she couldn’t kill again. After twenty long years, Lunoise had made half of the Earth’s population as morphs. People started to get angry with Lunoise for making morphs. To him, making morphs, to out last the humans population, was for the greater good.

The world’s army stepped in and took the morphs away from Lunoise. When this happen, Ranpu’s true power came forth. Over one night, all the humans vanish, even Lunoise. Ranpu destroyed all the cities and factories of the humans. With his power he recreated Earth as a paradise for all morphs. He made balance and peace through out the world, and he renamed the planet Kilmarty. When he felt like he was satisfied with his creation, he made five wizards, to seal him away in a mask, until he was needed again.

Shobeck has been searching for the mask of Ranpu for many years, so he could destroy it. With his dark heart and his powers, he has made many castles and armies fall. Castle Phoenix and Castle de Franco are the only two remaining castles in all Kilmarty. Even thou Shobeck’s army is strong, his army can not make these two castles fall. Shobeck could sense the power of Ranpu growing stronger, every time he attacks the castles. With the ring of darkness in his grabs, he has the only key to awaken Maylen.

He has been holding onto this power since his teenage years. A young gecko by the name of Veria stands in his way of wiping out the mask of Ranpu. Shobeck knows that the only way to destroy the mask; is to kill off the last survivor of the Sandrunning tribe, Veria himself. This knight of the old war is a thorn within Shobeck’s side. He will crush him and destroy the mask at the same time.

All of Kilmarty is doom if Ranpu isn’t awakened, but no one on Kilmarty can wear the mask. For legends says that a non-native born Kilmartin will rise up and awaken the panther of light. The legend holds true, because every time a noble knight of Kilmarty tries to awaken Ranpu, they were killed. Some say it’s curse, but truth be told; Ranpu demanded the wizards he made to make sure that a native born Kilmartin will never be able to awaken him. Because even if the person that awakens him is evil, they will have his powers, because they wear the mask. He was making sure that if a Kilmartin was born from evil, that not even they could wear the mask.

So the people of Kilmarty waited for the one that wasn’t a native born. Evilness and darkness spared from Shobeck’s castle, to all who lived on Kilmarty. Veria couldn’t wait for the one any longer, and took matters into his own hands. He built a group of fighters and led them to Castle Night Wolf, as the last effort of saving Kilmarty. Even thou they failed, King Francisco of Casa de Franco, saw a promise star light up, as legend once told about a star that never existed, lighting up, before the one comes. King Francisco became a believer of the legend ever since that day, when Castle Phoenix fell to Shobeck’s power. For now, it’s the end.

[JJGrijalva]

Prologue: There has been a question asked for thousands and thousands of years. That single question is why do people kill? There are some answers that people came up with. They think people kill because of war, to feel the rush of killing someone, just for the fun of it, or because of insanity. But these answers do not apply to me. When the death of my family happen it was my fault and mine alone. –Veria of the Sandrunner Tribe

Castle Night Wolf:

Nightmares and Murder

By JJ

Part 1 of 7


As the moon shines on the land of Kilmarty, as a small army of wolves run through a dark forest, they're follow a very fast moving gecko. A trail of blood made tracking the gecko easier. A small cabin on fire gave too much attraction on the whereabouts of the gecko. The small army stopped and searched the area around the burning cabin. Ten wolves from the small army turned around and headed off in a different direction, as the rest of the wolves followed the blood trail.

The ten wolves ran out of the dark forest through a meadow, towards a black castle on a hill. Standing on a balcony was 6'0" black panther, watching the ten wolves come towards the castle's gates. The heavy gates open, as the panther disappeared from the balcony. The wolves run through the market place of the castle. As the wolves reached the main castle, giant doors swing open. The wolves run through the main hall towards the throne room. As they enter the throne room the black panther enters the room and puts his crown on. Everybody in the throne room bows before him as he sits down onto his throne. One of the ten wolves looked at the panther, "My highness, we have the enemy cornered and waiting for your command to kill." The panther smiles evilly, "Kill him and bring his head back to me." The wolf stands up, "Yes, your highness." The rest of the wolves stand up and turn around, before they took off. The panther stands up, "And let your killing be a quick one." The wolves nod their heads and start to run out of the castle.

After leaving the main castle's gate, they picked up speed. It doesn't take them long to catch up with the rest of the wolves in the forest. They stopped at a river, when they lost the scent of the gecko and the blood trail. As they searched the surrounding area near the river, the male gecko stopped at a waterfall. His sword and shield lay next to him, as he sits and lets the heavy water from the waterfall hit his body. Flashbacks to an old war run through his head, he clenched his hands and screamed. The wolves heard and redirected their course. When they reached the waterfall where they found a wedding ring.


Running at his top speed as tears ran down his face, was Veria, the wanted gecko. As he approached a small village, he started to slow down. He walks through the large crowd as images of a blue flag with a wolf is replaced by a black flag with a demon wolf on it. Veria shakes his head and sees a small inn ahead of him. He goes towards it and walks in, the manger of the inn looks at him, "How many nights, sir?" Veria takes out a leather bag, "One night." Veria gives the money to the manger of the inn. The manger gives him a key to a room, "Enjoy your stay, sir." Veria looks at the number on the key and walks away from the manger of the inn.

Veria reaches the room that was assigned to him. He opens the door and throws his sword and shield onto a near by chair. He sits on the edge of the bed and stares at the door. Veria sighs and starts to think, as visions of an old battle flash through his mind. He shakes as images of a black panther with red eyes goes through his mind. His breathing starts to get heavy as a memory of a blue flag with a golden wolf is replaced with a black flag with a red demon wolf. Veria whispers to himself, "Curse you king of the panthers and wolves."

The small army of wolves reached the small village at night. One holding a torch was commanded to set fire to the village. As the villagers fled their houses, each last one of them was killed. Watching the wolves from a hilltop was Veria, he saw children die as they tried to run away from the army of wolves. Veria's tail started to glow, as rage came over him. He withdrew his sword and shield, as he saw the army of wolves corner a pregnant women. A female voice echoes in Veria's head, "My love, you're going to be a father." Veria clenched his sword and shield, he yelled with pain and anger.

The army of wolves looked up and saw Veria come at them. He was like a bolt of lightning; he cut through half of the army of wolves. He stops in front of the woman, "Run, get out of here." The woman nods her head and ran from the fight. Veria swung his sword around, "Monsters, all of you!" Veria violently charged at the rest of the wolves, cutting them down to nothing. The wolves tried to fight back, but Veria's anger over-powered all of them. One surviving member of the wolven army looks at Veria with fear. Veria picks him up, "Tell me, tell me what happen to my family?" The survivor laughed evilly, "Shobeck gave you power and courage to kill your so called family. His darkness and evilness will spread, and there's nothing…" Before the survivor said another word, Veria stabbed him and threw him on the ground. Veria turned away from the dead wolf and walked out of the burning village.

As dawn broke on a new day, Veria stands out on the edge of Casa De Franco. As he enters the big market place which made him forget his past and pain. He listens to the noise of crowd and the bargaining of merchants to customers, which fills his head. At a small table near the center of Village De Franco, was an old bobcat with a crystal ball. His hood and wizard hat hid his eyes from people's sight.

He was giving a fortune to a vixen, "I see danger, and unhappiness. I see that you will get hurt." The vixen gets excited, "And?" The old bobcat holds out his paw, "That's all; my powers are getting weak, unless you pay me ten more gold coins." The vixen get offended and slaps him, "You're such a fake." The vixen walks away from the table as Veria got close to him.

When he got close to the table, there was a loud noise and the vixen screams in pain. The old bobcat shakes his head, "Told you, that you're going to get hurt." Veria hears him and looks at him with shock. The old bobcat looks at Veria, "What? Are you lost?" Veria shakes his head, "No." The old bobcat sees the sword on Veria's back, "A swordsman," he raised an eyebrow, "Ay?" Veria crossed his arms, "Aye, swordsman. A fake fortune teller, ay?" Ganja stands up, "I'm no fake…Wait a minute I am." He laughed to himself and this worries Veria, "Anyway, I'm the great and almost all powerful, Wised, no. Wisery, no. Male which, I mean witch."

Veria put his head in his hand, "You mean wizard." Ganja laughs, "Yeah that's what I mean." Veria shakes his head in shame. Ganja gets offended, "Let's see you, pushing one hundred and seven, and remember simple things, like the word wizard, swordsmen." Veria didn't answer his comment. Ganja straightens out his robe, "That's what I thought."

Veria sighs and shakes his head before syaing, "Changing the subject, can you tell me if you know the assassin named, Pyron?" Ganja turns pale as fear ran over him, "Py-Py-Pyron! He's dangerous, you don't want to ask him for anything." Veria looks at Ganja, "That's why I have to talk to him." Ganja started to get his normal skin colors back, "Why is that?" Veria sighed, "He was my friend before he start to kill for hire." Ganja steps back, "Then, I must go." Ganja throws down something and disappears into thin air.

Veria starts to walk from the table where Ganja sat. Veria walks down the market's street not knowing where he was going. All he cared about was finding Pyron. A voice from out of nowhere, "Stop right their, Pyron!" Veria turns around and sees Pyron, a 5'7" Hawk, with blue eyes, black feathers, wearing a off white shirt and brown pants, being chased by Sir Joseph Husk, a 5'9" Alaskan Husky, wearing a full knight suit of armor. Joseph screamed at Pyron, "You must pay for your half of your meal!"

Pyron sticks out his tongue, "Never!" Joseph jumps into the air and knocks Pryon on to Veria. Joseph didn't see the 5'4" gecko standing in their way. Veria and Pyron hit the ground, as Joseph picks himself up and goes to Pyron and Veria. Joseph lifts Pyron off of Veria, "Are you ok, sir?" Veria gets to his feet and dusts himself off, "No, I'm not ok. You to…" He stops himself as he realized Pyron was standing in front of him, "Pyron?" Pyron looks at him, "Ve-Ve-Veria?" Veria walks over to Pyron and punches him, "That's for telling me that you were going to Castle Grey Hawk." Pyron rubs his face, "I deserve that, even though I got lost."

Veria turned his back to Pyron. Pyron shook off the effect of Veria's punch and rubbed the back of his head. Joseph looked at Pyron, "Pyron, would you tell me who this man is." Pyron chuckled, "This is Veria, my old friend from my childhood, Sir Joseph." Joseph crossed his arms, "Hmmm…Looks like I'm not the only one that had trouble with you." Veria looks off in the distance, "You should have met him, when he was five years old." Pryon got offended, "What is that supposed to mean?" Veria didn't answer him and looks up at the sky. Joseph put his head in his paw and sighs, "Changing the subject, Pyron, the money." Pyron looks at him, "What?" Joseph put his paw out, "You owe me twenty gold coins." Pyron curses in an unknown language, "Here." Pyron gives Joseph a bag of gold coins, "Happy, now?" Joseph puts the bag of coins away, "No, because you're always doing this."

Pyron turns his attention back to Veria, "So, why are you in my neck of the woods?" Veria looks back at him, "Long story, but I'll make it short. I need you to help me to bring Castle Night Wolf down." Pyron got terrified, "Not that place again." Joseph raised an eye brow, "What's Castle Night Wolf have to do with you being here?" Veria turns to Joseph, "I'm here to get the help of Pyron to bring down the most unbeatable castle in the world, ruled by a king named Shobeck, and his queen, Kate "Silverstar" Shobeck. Pryon and me used to be soldiers for King Philip the fifth, when we were the age of nineteen. Pyron made it to the king's layer, while I got injured, just getting to that place. Anyway, Pyron lead fifty brave men in; and he was the only one who came out. The attack was a failure, Pyron and I swore to never return to that evil castle." Joseph looks at Pyron, "Why didn't you tell me that you where in the old war of Castle Night Wolf?" Pyron shrugged his shoulders, "Doesn't matter anymore, I became an assassin after that day when Veria went on his own path and left me to decide my fate. I'm soldier of the old war, but I don't dare say it or bring it up. It's apart of my past, that I try to forget." Joseph thinks for a moment, "I see, so, Veria, why are you going back, if you swore to never go back." Veria looks at the ground, "Because that bastard, Shobeck, killed my family."

Pyron fell to his knees, "No, not Mayia." Veria began to tear up, "I'm afraid so, but there's more." Pyron looks at Veria, "What else is there?" Veria looked away from Pyron, "He used his powers to control me and used me to kill them." Pyron grabbed a hold of Veria, "You killed my sister!?!" Veria pushed Pyron away from him, "Shobeck had control of me. All I remember was running through a forest and getting attacked. I killed of f the leader and I asked a weak survivor, what I was doing there. He told me that I killed my pregnant wife with the powers that was granted to me by King Shobeck. Then I killed him." Pyron withdraws his Japanese Katanas and got into his fighting stance, "By the end of my blades, you will pay for my sister's death." Veria really trying to convince him, "It wasn't my fault, Pyron. I was under Shobeck's control." Pyron didn't believe a word Veria said, "Likely story, Veria. But I don't believe you. Now defend yourself."

Before Pyron could even move, Joseph withdrew his sword and blocks Pyron, "I cannot allow you to kill your friend, Pyron. You have to go through me first." He thought this might keep Pyron from killing his friend. Pyron puts his katanas down for a moment, "Then you must die with him." Joseph was surprised to hear what Pyron said. With his shorter katana, he quickly striked Joseph on his right side. Joseph fell on one knee and clenches his right side. The blades of Pyron's katanas where made to cut right through armor. Veria steps in front of Joseph and charges at Pyron. Pyron clench both of his katanas, as he waited for Veria to get closer.

Just then a voice yelled, "Toad!" A yellow light flew by Veria and hits Pyron in his chest, turning him into a swamp toad. Pyron's katanas hit the ground. Pyron looked very pissed off, "Ribbit." Veria stops and turns around. He saw Ganja standing there with his index figure pointing at Pyron. Ganja laughs, "Hey, my spell worked right for the first time in hundred years." Veria has a disbelief look on his face, "But…Didn't you…I thought…Never mind, I'm confused, now." Ganja pulls his finger back, "Let's just say, that I followed you. I knew Pyron might be out of your league." Veria puts his sword back in its sheath, which is on his back. Joseph also puts his sword into its sheath. Ganja looked at Joseph's injury, "You should get that injury looked at." Joseph gets to his feet, "Thanks for the advice." Ganja opened his hands, "Here, I'll heal you."

Ganja hands started to glow blue and yellow, while the injury started to heal. He close his hands, "There, you're healed." Joseph checked his right side, "Thanks." Veria looks at Pyron, "You should turn him back, even if he is a pain." Ganja nodded his head, "Normal!" A white light flies out of his two left fingers and hits Pyron, making him into a stone. Ganja looked at Pyron, "Oops." Joseph laughed as Veria picked up Pyron. Veria studies the rock; "I like him better this way." Joseph fell to his knees in laughter, "I do too." Ganja rubs his chin, "Hmmm…I know." Ganja points two right fingers at Pyron, as Veria puts him on the ground, "Stone!" Pyron turns back to normal, "Finally back to myself, again."

Joseph's husky ears shot up as noise came from behind the bush. Joseph grabbed the hilt of his sword, "There's someone out there." Ganja put his hands into the sleeves of his rob, "Who ever it is, they smell familiar, but I can't put my paw on it." King Francisco pops out of the bushes, followed by his royal guards, which were behind Veria. Everybody, but Veria; bowed before King Francisco. King Francisco smiled and yelled," Now introducing the king which is me." Fanfare comes from behind him as he laughs. King Francisco looks at Veria, "Now, why are you not bowing before a king?" Veria lower his eyebrows, "Because I know that the crown you're wearing was because you killed your older brother." King Francisco got mad at Veria, "Arrest him, now!"

The royal guards grabbed Veria and cuffed him. They took him away from where everybody was standing. When the guards where no longer in sight, King Francisco looks at Joseph, "Who told him that lie, head knight?" Joseph looks at his king, "I don't know, your highness." King Francisco clenched his hands and mumbled angrily, as he walked away from Joseph. Joseph gets to his feet, "How long are you going to keep him in prison, your highness?" King Francisco stops and turns to him, "For two days. Then he will be let go." King Francisco turns his back to Joseph and disappears from sight.

Pyron gets to his feet, "The king is really ticked off." Ganja slaps Pyron from behind, "You think?" In Joseph's head, "King Francisco's older brother has been missing for more than ten years, but to hear a commoner saying it was a murder. He should be hung, but Veria got off lightly this time." That night in the dungeon, Veria was put into a cell with the most ruthless fighter in the world. Soon Veria will know his name and trust him. A pirate by the name of Caveman, his alias was Ruthless. He was the last living dragon in all of Kilmarty. A dragon that was believed to be married to a unicorn named Jenny.

Like Veria, he has seen his family killed, in front of his eyes, and there was nothing he could have done about it. He only recently joined a group of pirates, named Redthieves. Before the death of his wife, Caveman was a gentle giant. Even thou his wife couldn't bear any of his children, but he was happy with her. "Life doesn't stop when someone you love dies," a phrase that his father told him, when his mother died. Caveman was more drawn to his father, then his mother. When Jenny came into his life, his father tried to forbid him from seeing her. His father wanted him to marry within his own species, but Caveman fell in love with her, and there wasn't a thing his father could do to stop him.

Even after the elimination of his tribe, Caveman remained gentle, because he still had his wife. Only after the death of his wife, is when he became a threat to all that lived on Kilmarty. If it wasn't for Connor and Kyri, King McAllen's army would have eliminated Caveman. Kyri taught him to control his pain and anger, in return he would help them steal and take over other ocean going ships. He finally joined them as a real crew-member after his twenty-ninth birthday. He looks up to his captain, even though she's a female and a different species. With his strength and her knowledge, they became the unstoppable pirates of the oceans.

He only stands as a crew-member, until she helps him find the answer to his long burning question. His question was who killed his tribe and then killed his family. Even thou Kyri didn't have much to go on, she agreed to help him. Even they might not get an answer, she still helps him search. A woman with compassion missing is what she's known as to her crew and rival pirates. Caveman doesn't believe that, even thou Connor try to convince him. Caveman knows her only as Captain Redwind, and nothing else. He'll follow her to the ends of the world as her crew-member and friend.

To be continued.

[Chrysics]

You don't have a bad premise. It's actually quite fascinating and seems quite promising on the action and adventure

Though I do have some critiques for you, if you like?

I know this is nit picky but I've noticed that you sometime switch between present and past tense. Something small but it can be a bit distracting and makes it hard for the reader to stay absorbed in the story.

Also, there is a bit over explaining of things. For instance:

"Flashbacks to an old war run through his head, he clenched his hands and screamed. The wolves heard the scream, and ran towards the direction of the scream. "

In this line you mentioned the word scream three times. Which is a bit unnecessary and kinda treats the reader like an idiot ^^;

A more consice way of writing the sentence would be:

"Flashbacks to an old war run through his head, he clenched his hands and screamed. The wolves heard and redirected their course"

I hope you find my critique useful! And I hope you weren't offended, I reiterate that I enjoyed your story. It's just, on a technical point of view, it needs to be polished a little bit. I hope to read your future installments pretty soon

[JJGrijalva]

You don't have a bad premise. It's actually quite fascinating and seems quite promising on the action and adventure

Though I do have some critiques for you, if you like?

I know this is nit picky but I've noticed that you sometime switch between present and past tense. Something small but it can be a bit distracting and makes it hard for the reader to stay absorbed in the story.

Also, there is a bit over explaining of things. For instance:

"Flashbacks to an old war run through his head, he clenched his hands and screamed. The wolves heard the scream, and ran towards the direction of the scream. "

In this line you mentioned the word scream three times. Which is a bit unnecessary and kinda treats the reader like an idiot ^^;

A more consice way of writing the sentence would be:

"Flashbacks to an old war run through his head, he clenched his hands and screamed. The wolves heard and redirected their course"

I hope you find my critique useful! And I hope you weren't offended, I reiterate that I enjoyed your story. It's just, on a technical point of view, it needs to be polished a little bit. I hope to read your future installments pretty soon

I do, I have a large problem with my past and present tense with getting them right. I thought I dropped the extra two screams, my bad. Thank you for your imput. I am editing the first part as we speak on DA so when it is read there are no mistakes, but I can't catch them all you know.

[Chrysics]

I do, I have a large problem with my past and present tense with getting them right. I thought I dropped the extra two screams, my bad. Thank you for your imput. I am editing the first part as we speak on DA so when it is read there are no mistakes, but I can't catch them all you know.

It's no problem, oh and I understand about the whole not being able to catch all the mistakes, as a fellow writer and all
Though something that helps, better then reading through it yourself, is getting a beta / test reader
They can do wonders, I know from personal experience haha. But best of luck and I look forward to your future works.

[JJGrijalva]

It's no problem, oh and I understand about the whole not being able to catch all the mistakes, as a fellow writer and all
Though something that helps, better then reading through it yourself, is getting a beta / test reader
They can do wonders, I know from personal experience haha. But best of luck and I look forward to your future works.

Thank and I don't have any one for a beta reader, my beta reader for my script for Return to Castle Night Wolf hasn't gotten back to me. So if you know any good beta reader, please tell me.