Thread: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow"

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  1. #1 [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    Just a writer Adam's Avatar
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    Shattered Heaven is a mecha novel series I started back in 2005. So far 4 novels have been written and this summer the first novel will go on sale ^^. From these novels I started an animated series that began running in 2008. "For Tomorrow" takes place before the animated series, right after the war that split humanity and its Mars brethren ended. Friends, brothers, sisters and the like had fallen in order to preserve the life that had continued to prosper for song long. With Lucius Malum defeated, things seemed like everything would go back to normal and the conflict that plagued Earth and Mars finally, came to an end. Adam Novus, after having put all of his strength and resolve into fighting against Lucius, finds himself still alive, unsure of what the future holds.

    Cast in order of appearance

    Sharon Amare: Mochan
    Adam Novus: Adam
    General Copiare: Seymour
    Michelle Copiare: Cydonia


    This was written out of nowhere on Wednesday, and lines were given to me last night and this morning. I mixed this tonight haha. This is the first time I've had the pleasure of working with both Cydonia and Seymour, and it was a lot of fun. Thank you both so much for doing this on short notice. I seriously appreciate it. Same with Mochan, although she's always been on point with lines, and is always reliable.

    When I started writing this, I didn't expect it to come out so long, but for me, it was really worth it. I look forward to working with the both of you more in the future ^^
    Last edited by Adam; 02-26-2011 at 04:48 AM.
    Click the image to purchase the novel for $2.99 Any support is greatly appreciated. If you do purchase, let me know and I will send you a free download of the original soundtrack and an audio thank you from some members of the cast.











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  2. #2 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    When the Ark strikes 000... Seymour's Avatar
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    I'm really glad to see this out, I'll try to write out a full critique when I can

    god I sound so puffy
    Last edited by Seymour; 02-26-2011 at 02:48 AM.
    "Motivation will keep your eyes on your goal, but Discipline will help you move towards it."
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  3. #3 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    Superb. Cydonia's Avatar
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    Sheesh kebab I sound different in this.... I'll leave a full critique later, too. I did like it, though!
    "Wishes can come true. But not if you just wait for miracles.
    Miracles are things we make for ourselves. Here and now.
    "


     

  4. #4 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    Just a writer Adam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    I'm really glad to see this out, I'll try to write out a full critique when I can

    god I sound so puffy
    A little, but it fit for the character so it was all good. Looking forward to it man.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cydonia View Post
    Sheesh kebab I sound different in this.... I'll leave a full critique later, too. I did like it, though!
    I'm glad you liked it! XD. It was a lot of fun working with the two of you and it'll have to happen more often. Looking forward to your reviews. ^^
    Click the image to purchase the novel for $2.99 Any support is greatly appreciated. If you do purchase, let me know and I will send you a free download of the original soundtrack and an audio thank you from some members of the cast.











    90% of people can only copy or edit work by someone else. If you're one of the 10% who believes in being original, put this in your signature.









     

  5. #5 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    INCONVENIENT Mochan's Avatar
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    Very cool addition! I like how quickly this was all put together.

    Adam! Ooh lala! Your acting is always improving!

    I'm loving Seymour and Cydonia! Good call on these two voices.

    Great one-shot!
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  6. #6 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    Just a writer Adam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mochan View Post
    Very cool addition! I like how quickly this was all put together.

    Adam! Ooh lala! Your acting is always improving!

    I'm loving Seymour and Cydonia! Good call on these two voices.

    Great one-shot!
    Thanks! , it means a lot. Over time and through various projects it feels like I'm getting the hang of acting in front of just a mic lol. So I really appreciate that you think so.

    Yeah, I thought it was a good choice to scout them too lol. Was so lucky they were able to do the lines so fast ^^. Like always, I have more minisodes coming, but I also do have some straight up side stories like this being developed too.

    I wonder if I should go back to animating and finishing Act 4 since I'm like...at the end of it already >_>
    Click the image to purchase the novel for $2.99 Any support is greatly appreciated. If you do purchase, let me know and I will send you a free download of the original soundtrack and an audio thank you from some members of the cast.











    90% of people can only copy or edit work by someone else. If you're one of the 10% who believes in being original, put this in your signature.









     

  7. #7 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    Now that's bang out of order! Merodi's Avatar
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    Yay, more Shattered Heaven! Was nice to hear everyone in audio drama format; I love the animation, but this was a neat change. Mixing was done well, and cast is a good fit. And welcome to Seymore and Cydonia as new additions to SH!

    Some portions of dialogue between Sharon and Adam feel a little awkward; sometimes a few lines "read" weird, other times it sounded like there were two different interpretations of the scene by the actors. This feeling continued through to Adam's conversation with General Copiare as well. Maybe next time do a Skype runthrough? I know Seymore and Cydonia are new to the SH group too, so it may be just a matter of getting used to each others' styles of acting as projects continue.

    Face-slap timing was too slow. THE MIXER/STAGEFIGHTER IN ME DEMANDS THIS BE CORRECTED. XD That aside, nice layout of SFX and ambience. Nothing was overdone; everything was kept in good balance and just enough to illustrate what was going on. Very nice job.

    Huzzah for a great short! And Adam, I think you deserve extra props here. This is the first time I've heard you with that kind of emotion in your voice. It's a lot different from your earlier days of animating SH, and you deserve a lot of props for this right here. Playing Allan in Dreamcatcher doesn't give enough credit to what you can do, and I apologize for that. You've come a long way. There's always stuff to work on, but you've improved a lot.

    Yay for SH!


    Signed,
    Keira Sequor
    "...be careful what you dream of...."

    DREAMCATCHER Season One is Complete! Check it out!



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  8. #8 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    A lifetime of training, my future is set in stone. BigTUnit1's Avatar
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    Nice! Adam has some acting chops on him!

    This was a very nice little audio production! It was cleanly mixed, and the development of the surrounding was clear and crisp. Although their was an awkward line here and there, the acting was superb overall. You have always been a good writer, and it's good to hear you getting better at scripting!
     

  9. #9 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    INCONVENIENT Mochan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merodi View Post
    Some portions of dialogue between Sharon and Adam feel a little awkward; sometimes a few lines "read" weird, other times it sounded like there were two different interpretations of the scene by the actors. This feeling continued through to Adam's conversation with General Copiare as well. Maybe next time do a Skype runthrough? I know Seymore and Cydonia are new to the SH group too, so it may be just a matter of getting used to each others' styles of acting as projects continue.
    I definitely agree with this for future stuff. I think Adam just did this very quickly 'on the fly', like it was all put together in a day or two so I don't know if there was enough time to do a skype chat. But I definitely agree that it seemed like we were doing two different scenes. xD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphire View Post
    [ghetto]No one messes with mah babeh and gets away with it![/ghetto]
     

  10. #10 Re: [AP] Shattered Heaven "For Tomorrow" 
    Just a writer Adam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mochan View Post
    I definitely agree with this for future stuff. I think Adam just did this very quickly 'on the fly', like it was all put together in a day or two so I don't know if there was enough time to do a skype chat. But I definitely agree that it seemed like we were doing two different scenes. xD
    Yeah I noticed it too. I was torn between my impulsive side to want to get it out and the side where I was like "I should probably direct and ask for redos." but then realized if I did that it'd take longer and for a short I kinda just went with it. No real excuse haha, just sheer anxiety since it's been a real long time since I felt like I had written something on par with my novel writing. >_>

    The next time I'll have more patience and time, so I'll be able to actually do it right. I do have other short ideas, but I do need to focus on Act 4's animation and cleaning it up, I only have 4 minutes left of animation to finish cleaning so hopefully by the end of this month. Plus I still have the audio drama SH I need to script from the 3rd novel, I'm aiming to hit that up this weekend.

    Then I have to work on the marketing campaign for the novel....I think I may do too much.
    Click the image to purchase the novel for $2.99 Any support is greatly appreciated. If you do purchase, let me know and I will send you a free download of the original soundtrack and an audio thank you from some members of the cast.











    90% of people can only copy or edit work by someone else. If you're one of the 10% who believes in being original, put this in your signature.









     

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