Ribb0ns Winter '10-'11 Demo Reel

[Ribb0ns]

My 2nd demo reel! Please comment and critique

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I was told to go for original voices and more variety,
so i tried that this time. Any help you have to offer me
would be most helpful! Thanks!

[Ribb0ns]

bump bump bump

[Ribb0ns]

Bump bump......bump? :l

[Seymour]

Yur off to a great start, your range was pretty impressive, however I feel that your flow with lines was a little too slow most of the time, and some of the acting seemed sorta of forced or bland at times, focus on hitting that just right, and you are golden, keep up the good work

[CrowSama]

I love the voices you did in there but like Seymour said some of them sound forced although I don't think they were bland though. The 2nd, 7th, and 8th lines were the ones I thought were forced. My favorite one has to be the 11th line.

[Ribb0ns]

Yur off to a great start, your range was pretty impressive, however I feel that your flow with lines was a little too slow most of the time, and some of the acting seemed sorta of forced or bland at times, focus on hitting that just right, and you are golden, keep up the good work

thank you! :] could you please tell me which you thought were forced and which were slow? I want to fix it if i can! :]

I love the voices you did in there but like Seymour said some of them sound forced although I don't think they were bland though. The 2nd, 7th, and 8th lines were the ones I thought were forced. My favorite one has to be the 11th line.

thanks! your favorite one was me crying? xDD lol that one i was most worried about. my problems i was told to fix in my last reel was more range and i seemed emotionless. I had a crying take and they said it seemed fake. Any thoughts? My old demo reel is here if your curious: http://voiceactingalliance.com/board...o.1&highlight=

[VoiceActorDreamer]

I really like your lower range but it sounds like you aren't that comfortable down there, or maybe it was simply because of the delivery. You have a really nice range though, a bit more intense emotions would be nice though. ^^

[Ribb0ns]

I really like your lower range but it sounds like you aren't that comfortable down there, or maybe it was simply because of the delivery. You have a really nice range though, a bit more intense emotions would be nice though. ^^

thanks! but how so more intense? which characters? and which low voices did you like?

[BigTUnit1]

Look I'm here! Whoopie!

Anyway, I thought I would start with the positive, which outweighs the bad by quite a large margin. There were many different voices on display here, and each felt like a different character. Pacing was a bit straightforward in my opinion though, as a good amount of them had the same pacing, so experiments with some quick and energetic reads, and follow it up with something slow and deliberate, to show a definite acting range. Okay, now to analyze each voice!

Voice 1: Good voice, although there are two things that you could do to make it even better. Seeing as this is your first line, a pause of non-speaking would look pretty bad to the average producer, so find something to fill the space, even if it's just an "ahem!". Also, on the side of mixing, I would add a reverb to the voice to make it sound like you are speaking into a microphone in a large room, since I think that is what you are going for anyway.

Voice 2: I would move this line to a different part of the demo, just to divide up the vocal range in the demo a little bit, but other then that, I would change the music to something a little more appropriate. That is simply a mixing gripe though, since the voice is fine.

Voice 3: I would suggest switching voice 2's spot for this one. The differentiation between the young and nervous to the deep and sultry would catch most people off guard, which is great.

Voice 4: "Please don't pop those P's please, please don't pop those P's"
Beyond quoting a tongue twister, it definitely applies here, since they are pretty distinct in my headphones. Good job with the voice differentiation, and you did a pretty good job at sounding the part without sounding forced. Fix the popping, and it should go swimmingly.

Voice 5: Ouch! Good cartoon voice, but adjust the levels a tad. There is some slight peaking distortion. Once again, good differentiation, but if anything this much differentiation should be at the beginning of the demo, since the first fifteen seconds of the demo are crucial.

Voice 6: I really liked this voice, it's just a shame that the popping appeared again. pronounce your P's just a bit softer, and it should help.

Voice 7: I personally think this would sound even creepier if you had more of an "Oh dear! You must be dreaming. I didn't just kill a man and stuff him under the floorboards. Here, have some tea!" Basically, Pull back just a tad, to give more of that creepy nuance to the performance. I think it would sound good for a line like this.

Voice 8: You attempted old lady! Rock on! You popped the B though

Voice 9: I would try more of a valley girl on this one, because the "Aaaaah!" sounded a little rough in that voice.

Voice 10: I probably wouldn't put a voice like this in the demo reel, only because this kinda delves into the realm of impression. The country voice is very sellable, but maybe more of a cowgirl motif would fit the scene.

Voice 11: The line is a little too vague. Who is he? Why do you trust him? What did he do? Crying lines are always tough, but being specific makes a character more sympathetic, since I know why I should feel bad for her. Also, I would make the crying sound a little more wet, as though you are talking through your tears.

Voice 12: Oh. You did Valley girl. Nevermind lol. I digged this voice, but again try to avoid being vague. Instead of stuff, it should be a Grande Mocha soy milk latte half caf no cream double sugar and a blueberry muffin...or something like that.

Voice 13: I would add more of a rasp to this voice, to see if you can pull of an evil little boy. Surprisingly big market for those.

Well, that is me being nitpicky, but overall I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the demo reel. I think with some tweaking here and there, it would be quite solid.

[Ribb0ns]

Look I'm here! Whoopie!

Anyway, I thought I would start with the positive, which outweighs the bad by quite a large margin. There were many different voices on display here, and each felt like a different character. Pacing was a bit straightforward in my opinion though, as a good amount of them had the same pacing, so experiments with some quick and energetic reads, and follow it up with something slow and deliberate, to show a definite acting range. Okay, now to analyze each voice!

Voice 1: Good voice, although there are two things that you could do to make it even better. Seeing as this is your first line, a pause of non-speaking would look pretty bad to the average producer, so find something to fill the space, even if it's just an "ahem!". Also, on the side of mixing, I would add a reverb to the voice to make it sound like you are speaking into a microphone in a large room, since I think that is what you are going for anyway.

Voice 2: I would move this line to a different part of the demo, just to divide up the vocal range in the demo a little bit, but other then that, I would change the music to something a little more appropriate. That is simply a mixing gripe though, since the voice is fine.

Voice 3: I would suggest switching voice 2's spot for this one. The differentiation between the young and nervous to the deep and sultry would catch most people off guard, which is great.

Voice 4: "Please don't pop those P's please, please don't pop those P's"
Beyond quoting a tongue twister, it definitely applies here, since they are pretty distinct in my headphones. Good job with the voice differentiation, and you did a pretty good job at sounding the part without sounding forced. Fix the popping, and it should go swimmingly.

Voice 5: Ouch! Good cartoon voice, but adjust the levels a tad. There is some slight peaking distortion. Once again, good differentiation, but if anything this much differentiation should be at the beginning of the demo, since the first fifteen seconds of the demo are crucial.

Voice 6: I really liked this voice, it's just a shame that the popping appeared again. pronounce your P's just a bit softer, and it should help.

Voice 7: I personally think this would sound even creepier if you had more of an "Oh dear! You must be dreaming. I didn't just kill a man and stuff him under the floorboards. Here, have some tea!" Basically, Pull back just a tad, to give more of that creepy nuance to the performance. I think it would sound good for a line like this.

Voice 8: You attempted old lady! Rock on! You popped the B though

Voice 9: I would try more of a valley girl on this one, because the "Aaaaah!" sounded a little rough in that voice.

Voice 10: I probably wouldn't put a voice like this in the demo reel, only because this kinda delves into the realm of impression. The country voice is very sellable, but maybe more of a cowgirl motif would fit the scene.

Voice 11: The line is a little too vague. Who is he? Why do you trust him? What did he do? Crying lines are always tough, but being specific makes a character more sympathetic, since I know why I should feel bad for her. Also, I would make the crying sound a little more wet, as though you are talking through your tears.

Voice 12: Oh. You did Valley girl. Nevermind lol. I digged this voice, but again try to avoid being vague. Instead of stuff, it should be a Grande Mocha soy milk latte half caf no cream double sugar and a blueberry muffin...or something like that.

Voice 13: I would add more of a rasp to this voice, to see if you can pull of an evil little boy. Surprisingly big market for those.

Well, that is me being nitpicky, but overall I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the demo reel. I think with some tweaking here and there, it would be quite solid.

Thanks travis! :] This really helps! I dont know why my b's and p's popped so much (i didnt notice till you mentioned it) but maybe its cause I was playing with the sound on audacity? or maybe i just said it too loud. either way, I'll see what I can do to fix it.

Thanks for critique on the crying line. I did one last time and was told i was emotionless, so i guess ive fixed that a bit. however I agree I need to work on being more specific in my lines with what is going on. I was just afraid to put in any detail because I was told my lines last time ran too long. I will work on it though! Thanks!

As for placement and mixing, i'm still really new to it, so i dont know the in's and outs. your comments really helped me notice the weird things I put or didnt put in my demo. >.< I will work on it! thanks!

Over all, thanks very much for critique and It's gonna help me a lot!