Shakugan no SHANA - "Shana."

[Cydonia]

S h a k u g a n - n o - S H A N A
"Shana."

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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51kEkyRCxpw"]YouTube- Shakugan no SHANA - "Shana." Fandub[/ame]


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Cast

(In order of appearance)

Yuji - InstraClassic
Hirai - KuroKoe
Shana -Cydonia
Alastor - Hokage Titan

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Mixing by Cydonia

SFX: Soundsnap/Ljudo/VAA SFX Library/Original Clip

Music: Shakugan no SHANA OST


Note: I HATE HOW SOFT MY VOICE IS SOMETIMES.
Much lub to my cast though. <3

[McTricky]

Yes, yes, yes! A clip is out!

Yuji :: InstraClassic Decent performance here. I liked it. At times a felt the voice was a bit inconsistent, though.

Hirai :: KuroKoe Didn't get to hear much out you, but what I heard was good.

Shana :: Cydonia To be honest, I wasn't fan a of the voice you used for Shana. Given Shana's personality, I think the voice was too high-pictched for the character. Also Shana's trademark "Triple Shut Up" didn't have enough of that frustrated tone.

Alastor :: Hokage Titan Again, not much from you, but the tone you carried was perfect.

EDIT: Forgot to comment on the mixing. The mixing was decent for the most part. My only nitpick that the music was a tad too loud. Other than that, great job mixing wise.

And now I should put Shakugan no Shana 2 and S onto my To Watch List.

[Cydonia]

Yes, yes, yes! A clip is out!

Yuji :: InstraClassic Decent performance here. I liked it. At times a felt the voice was a bit inconsistent, though.

Hirai :: KuroKoe Didn't get to hear much out you, but what I heard was good.

Shana :: Cydonia To be honest, I wasn't fan a of the voice you used for Shana. Given Shana's personality, I think the voice was too high-pictched for the character. Also Shana's trademark "Triple Shut Up" didn't have enough of that frustrated tone.

Alastor :: Hokage Titan Again, not much from you, but the tone you carried was perfect.

EDIT: Forgot to comment on the mixing. The mixing was decent for the most part. My only nitpick that the music was a tad too loud. Other than that, great job mixing wise.

And now I should put Shakugan no Shana 2 and S onto my To Watch List.

I wanted to give Shana a different voice from the dub since I thought it was way too low. D: But it's okay if you didn't like it.
Thanks for the feedback, Tricky!

[McTricky]

I wanted to give Shana a different voice from the dub since I thought it was way too low. D: But it's okay if you didn't like it.
Thanks for the feedback, Tricky!

*o shit wasn't aware it was dubbed*

[Cydonia]

It's a horrible dub. D: I wouldn't check it out if I were you!

[Sukisho]

It's a horrible dub. D: I wouldn't check it out if I were you!

D:

< liked dub.

(real comment later XD)

[Kennidy]

Being a huge fan of Shakugan no Shana, I figured I’d critique this; something I normally wouldn’t do. I’ve been anxious for this to come out for a while (especially since InstraClassic kept mentioning it).

Yuji (InstraClassic) – Like McTricky said, you do have a decent voice for the character, but sometimes the emotion needed a bit of work. For example, the line “You’re wrong!” and everything during that part of the dialogue seemed held back; I guess maybe because it was said in a slow way in order to match the lipflaps? Uwaa, and somewhere in the middle, the pitch kind of dropped compared to your opening line.

Hirai (KuroKoe) – I really liked your voice for her, but I have to admit that there is a raspy quality in the line you have that makes you sound tired, when Hirai seems to be a bit more depressed and reminiscent.

Shana (Cydonia) – I have to agree that the voice you used was a bit too soft for Shana. When she’s explaining that nobody will care about Hirai’s disappearance, her she was speaking very simply and it didn’t seem to have any edge to it at all. Shana is one of those characters that – unless she’s being cutesy, has a voice with tons of edge to it. And like McTricky said, the “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” line just didn’t seem to have enough power behind it.

Alastor (Hokage_Titan) – I didn’t get to hear much, but I was really surprised to hear your Alastor. Nihahaha, I was actually thinking when Skyler first told me... "Alastor... as Hokage? What?"




All in all, it wasn't bad at all, and I'm sorry if this critique came out as a bit harsh, but I really want to just help all of you improve for future clips. (:



(UGH. NOW I WANNA BE SCOUTED FOR AN AWESOME CLIP RAGE. WHY CAN'T THIS EVER HAPPEN TO ME?!)

[ichigo_m]

Now please note I haven't /watched/ Shana, but I've read it, so that's what I'm going off for pitch.

Yuji - Skyyyyy~ Wow your voice had improved alot~ You sound so different now~ It really fits the character. Your line about Hirai exsting seemed alittle flat though. Mostly at the end, where it didn't really match lip flaps either.

Hirai - A one liner but a very well done one liner. Made me really sad. Great job~

Shana - Your pitch seemed really soft for Shana. It didn't seem to have the Tsundere attitude I was expecting. It got better as it went on, but it still seemed very soft for Shana. And The "Shut up" line deffentily could have been louder. Just let it go girl!~ You've got it in you.

Alastor - Another one liner, but this fit very well. Your first word seemed to come from your throat. Which is fine sometimes, it actually creates good charater, but I think for this charater it just sounded off. Good job though~ (=

Mixing - First of all, your footsteps were really loud and fake sounding. I'd suggest using the VAA footstep pack and turning the volume way down, they should be close to inaudible.

Nice clip guys~
I enjoyed it~

[Hokage Titan]

Sweet it's out, it's a good clip and Cy, I think it may be my first time hearing you voice act. XD But still it was a pleasure working with you. =P

Yuji - InstraClassic: Sweet, we finally get to be in a released clip together man. XD I do think you played Yuji well, the voice was where it should of been, emotions were good there was however a slight falter here and there but nothing all too major or anything I could truly nitpick at.

Hirai - KuroKoe: Wait! Kuro playing a FEMALE!? XD jk I do like the voice you used for Hirai, can't say much else besides nice one liner. =P

Shana -Cydonia: Ok, the voice for Shana worked here and your just about getting there. Though the pitch, and everyone else had said this already, was too soft. It was also missing the edgy, Tsundereness Shana tends to have and it just needed that extra push on the power behind some lines. Otherwise you have something here, now it's time to work at it, seeing as I agree the english voice for Shana didn't fit as much as it could of, if you work at it you may have something better who knows. =P

Alastor - Hokage Titan: I don't feel like critiquing myself, I rather someone else does, except for the fact that this my second time playing a omniscient inanimate object. XD

Mixing: This was done well, just the music and footsteps had to be leveled down a bit.

I hope to work with you again soon! =P

[hyperknees91]

haha nice attempt cydonia but you'll need to somehow find a way to lose that soft approach if you want to do shana justice.

Basically just try to make her more aggressive, arrogant and cocky, as well as put more energy into it "Shut up, shut up, shut up" as it seems as your holding yourself back while doing this role. Though thats something new for you and will require a bit of practice so just keep at it xD