Namine's Diary {4TH ENTRY UP! BETTER QUALITY}

[Rima]

I have decided that i thought it would be intresting if there was a diary Namine kept while she was recreating Sora's memories. So this is a little mini series i am doing. I play namine and i wrote the entry myself. But i would love critiques so please watch!

Please watch and comment/critique me, either here or on the video! Thank you for your time ^^

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eibTzVN5Xjc"]YouTube- Namine's Diary Day 1[/ame]


Days 2-5!
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6ZjkYDH49k"]YouTube- Namine's Diary Days 2-5[/ame]



Days 6-11
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEXP0kxV7cc"]YouTube- Namine's Diary Days 6-11[/ame]



Days 12-20!
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRKwzOhOYLA"]YouTube- Namine's Diary Days 12-20[/ame]

[Cydonia]

This should be in completed works really. ^^"

[Rima]

Yea i know but idk how to tranfer it there now >.>
and i guess its not entirely a completed work because the diary isn't done yet. but i should move it lmao
how do i do that?

[Subaru-camui]

cool! nicely done ^^

[Cydonia]

Yea i know but idk how to tranfer it there now >.>
and i guess its not entirely a completed work because the diary isn't done yet. but i should move it lmao
how do i do that?

Already done! Haha I told my friend who is one of the moderators and he moved it for you. :3
I really like how soft your voice is, and I have always liked Namine with a soft voice. Buuuuut.. the background noise was really distracting. Don't rush your lines, try and feel every word and line so you don't get bored of reading them, otherwise you will start mumbling. Act them out. Pretend it's your very own diary. Lift the mood. Pretend it's a monologue of some kind. :3
I really liked it though!

[Rima]

oh thank you! ^^ haha
and thanks for the critiques they were very helpful

[Refi-chan]

haha, now it's in the right place, I'll say something ^^

I like the script so far, and the music goes well with the mood. I also enjoyed the clipages with it! For improvement, the voice matches, but I felt the delivery was choppy like 'Record this line' 'k, now record this line' Something that may help, as it is a monologue, is read over the script as a whole several times. Try out different approaches (like all happy, all sad, climax and waves of this here and that there) Maybe listen to the music on headphones while recording the part to help smooth things over. Get that covered, and this would be unbearably touching!

[Rima]

Thank you Refi-Chan ^^ i will do that next time!

[Rima]

bumpityyyyyy

[Rima]

bUMPITYYYYY