The corrupted wishes game

[Blue Leader]

Granted, now you don't like women at all. Or anyone for that matter, and you spend the rest of your life sad and alone.

I wish I was better at programming... everything. >>

[veebee]

Granted! But now the government needs you to program a bomb that will destroy Earth as they escape to Mars. No, you will not be accompanying them.

I wish I could stop time like Charles Xavier.

[Para_bolic]

Your wish is my command, but you don't know how to make time move again and it effects you as well so the entire universe is eternally stuck in a perpetual temporal limbo.

I wish I had a kitty who could sing me U2's greatest hits.

[veebee]

Your wish has been granted! But that kitty let stardom get to his head and forgot about you and all the people that made his career possible. The life of a rock star makes the kitty go crazy. The kitty then becomes addicted to antidepressant pills and snorts lines of coke to forget his troubles. Kitty eventually dies in his sleep from a drug overdose but goes down in history for being a rock legend.

I wish I could sh*t out a stack of pancakes every morning, yum (now that's just silly)!

EDIT: I'd call them "asscakes" for obvious reasons of course.

[Blue Leader]

Granted. But because your ability is so disgusting no one wants to be around you and for the rest of your life you live cold and alone, with only your butt-made pancakes to keep you company. Ick.

I wish I was done with college.

[Taily]

Granted. But it's because you get sealed into a lampost by a mysterious professor and can't get out.

I wish I could go to a KAT-TUN concert with my friends.

[veebee]

Granted. But on the way to the concert you go deaf.

I wish people were just as cool as me.

[tenken2007]

Granted, but now that everyone's as cool as you... you're no longer cool. Think about that for a minute.

I wish I had all the luck.

[veebee]

Granted, but now that you have all the luck no one but you will get freerides in life, they'll have to rely on hard work, talent and dedication to get where they want to be, OH NO!

I wish we waged war via video games...the country with the highest score wins.

[Hazel Nut]

Granted, but now that everyone can play war through video games, your 10 year old child conquered China. Actually, that's awesome, but I don't think we want a 10 year old running a country...
I wish I learned the reason for life, and used this to help the whole world achieve peace, and that I succed in my mission to make the world a loving place. Try and ruin that!