A few days ago, I mentioned off-hand to some people that I was holding off on posting for awhile. I was at post #1999, and I knew I should do SOMETHING neat with my 2000th post. So, I worked and I worked, for three days on this project. Sadly, due to problems with the technology involved, it isn't doable at this time (though I may share it later).
Anyway, when I mentioned it off-hand, someone said to me "Is it going to be a thread insulting everyone on the VAA?" I assured her that, this time, it probably wasn't going to be.
Hopefully, this new, back-up plan of a thread won't insult you either!
But I'm not counting on it.
What we're going to do here is jump in our AVAyback Machine and go looking through the current forums for some of the most wretched (and a few of the most awesome) threads and posts in this current era of the VAA. Now, if your thread or post shows up in here, please, don't take this to heart. I've no mean to offend, only entertain. And besides, hopefully you've become a better poster by now.
And if not, well, what're you still doing here? Go back to GAIA!
Author's Note: I love the VAA. It's my favorite board out of the many boards I frequent. So please, don't think I hate the VAA! I just hate these threads! Now on with the show!
Behold! The VAA: A Craptrospective
Let's start off with a doozy!
Vampires, ladies and gentlemen. I think we all know why thunderstormgenesis is no longer skulking around in the shadows of these boards, waiting to syphon our precious lifeblood. The rest of the thread devolves into hilarious parody, but the beginning... good God, guys.
The Koinu_Yukina Files Episode 1: What?
I don't understand what this thread was about. How Koinu_Yukina would survive making threads like this without becoming a Corey Maddox is anyone's guess. But survive she did, as we'll see a bit later on.
The saddest and most overdone thread on the VAA. Period.
The fact that I was so incredibly right in that thread should really point out what a problem these threads are/were. Stop dreaming about TamTu! It's weird and you're weird (well, unless you're Nikki).
I find threads like this to be pretty fucking unbelievable.
I mean, seriously. I don't care how much of a J-Rock Lesbian you are, you canNOT really care about this... can you?
A VAA Legend in the making!
So, how many of us are being paid yet? 'cause I could go for some cash right now.
Still Standing Part 1: "How Could This Happen To Me?"
Poor kid. Seriously, I wouldn't wanna be him.
Still Standing Part 2: The Reason For Stupidity
Turns out that 12 and 13-year olds such as SS and Koinu_Yukina lied on their age form. Which reminds me of the time someone signed up and actually printed out, filled out, had their parents sign, and sent Danae the underage permission form.
Wow. Just wow.
I don't know what's going on here, but I think this may be the best thread ever.
Can you solve it? Tell me what is wrong with this thread!
Clever plan, Rayo!
The Alexa Vega Fanclub is not known for their subtleness, I assure you.
What the fuck is a Vaati?
This thread is pretty much a classic display of what not to do. But I think "VAAti" would be a cool name for a VAA mascot. What? We have one? Oh, that name sucks.
Red Firey strikes again!
wats going on in this thread gies?
Apparantly the same thing that's going on in this thread!
I really don't understand why this thread didn't get any replies.
Death of the Cap'n!
Really the funniest thing about this one is the thread title. EVERY day is a sad day in the DDR community!
Final Fantasy Time Travel?
What is ChronoballX EVER talking about?
Another repeat offender: Good ol' Doki-Chan
This thread really confused and astounded me. It's like some kind of essay on the stereotypical "Japan Rules" internet poster.
I take back everything I said
HERE'S the stereotypical "JAPANESU" kid.
A very important announcement
"As most of you know, a few months ago I said goodbye to the VAA..."
Return of Still Standing: Goths
This entire thread is pretty much gold, and I'm very happy to share it with you.
Hey, another dream thread!
Hanako-Chan's very original and cool thread that taught us lots of awesome things.
Now, I realize the first posts in this thread were purged, but it's very funny how it is.
A Lesson In Bettering Oneself
I told Chinomi recently that she's gotten much better as a poster than she once was. This is pretty much proof.
Hey, well, um, this is wrong.
Read the thread a bit. Koinu_Yukina strikes again with something pretty disturbing. Also, what the fuck is Teggy talking about?
A thread about the worst possible thing to ever happen in the history of humanity
Yes, what if, Justin? We'd all probably go outside a lot more, that's for sure.
Justin Parr strikes back!
Honestly, if anyone else is lying about something stupid, do they want to go ahead and step up?
I dream of a day when there are no more threads about dreams.
Also: Koinu_Yukina. What the Hell?
An anime fan gets interested in politics, shit hits fan.
YA'LL HEAR ABOUT THAT IRAQ? KAWAAI DESU NE!
...people like Ziggy?
This thread also has a lotta purged posts, but the title really hits home. What's up with the Library?
This hurts to read
It's really sad seeing someone so cool post something so lame. Shame, Eds. Shame.
Sometimes, our staff is dumb
Tom had this amazing idea, and the admins resisted (slightly), and now I can't imagine the board without it!
Okay, so there was a flaw in Tom's plan. Idiots don't understand how to use it!
A history course in VAA drama
I got demodded in this thread! Hooray!
Demands were made
HyperEvil makes a cool post. Why did he get banned? Obviously he was cool.
Well THIS certainly never got resolved!
DaveTheVoice: An Exercise In Internet Weirdness
Don't forget his pedophilia!
Unliiimited... my future is-
This guy was pretty awesome. Of course, the stars of this thread are the MISSCARriage triplets, a trio of spammers who were all friends in real life. Do they still post? I hope not.
Not even people I like are safe from the Craptrospective
A lesson in how NOT to have tact!
Big Gay What?
This is why I like ClymAngus. Aside from the whole Popeye thing.
Please ignore anyone who posted in this thread (including Danae!)
To my dismay, this thread is a pretty good argument against having the All-Chat area.
The eternal question
I don't think we know you very well at all Alex. No, not very well at all.
What? Do you name your shit before you flush it down the toilet?
It's unbelievable the amount of people who answered "Why, yes!" to this question.
Shadowsvoice was not very cool
Ed O'Neill Fanclub
I have no idea why this thread got closed! : D
This is why I am funnier than all of you
I wonder what Katie actually ended up doing? Probably nothing as cool as my idea.
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OVER, DIDN'T YOU?
But the battle never ends, does it Bruce?
Masahiko: Lakers Fangirl
I'm sorry. I misread the thread title and thought of Kobe's love of Kobe.
Mine is: SHUT UP, IDIOT!
Nick is lucky he has voice acting talent, because an average poster should've NEVER survived making this tripe.
I wonder what other VAA lurkers have to say?
Can't be nearly as cool as this thread, which contains ALL FOUR AMAZING POSTS from Yatsunori!
No one ever answered his dumb question. I guess my answer sufficed!
Sexual Identity Crisis of a 14-Year Old Girl
The things you read on the internet these days...
The Alcoholic Remedies of a 14-Year Old Girl
I remember when I was 14. And not drunk.
What was I thinking!?
Finally, Heroine of Time makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside
Mainly because I feel like I'm about to vomit from all the stupidity.
Koinu_Yukina, Still_Standing, Steel Angel, Unlimited, DaveTheVoice, and everyone else as themselves. Thanks for being dumb, guys!
Anyway, that was just a quick, thrown-together tour of the darkside of the VAA. I hope you enjoyed it. Maybe you laughed, maybe you cried, and maybe learned a lesson or two about what NOT to do. Either way, I think this thread's a pretty great archive to the worst our great forum has to offer.
Of course, you could just go read every post by SailorScoutX, the Masaku_Ran Combo, or Corey Maddox... but I'd reccomend against that, personally.