Cydonia Commercial Reel 2012

[Cydonia]

Cydonia Commercial Reel 2012

>>Stream//Download<< (http://www.box.com/s/y30bxe0q0uirybubtggf)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ0_z6xlPeI&feature=youtu.be

This is my first commercial demo, so critiques are MUCH appreciated!

[Sukisho]

Sounded pretty good to me :D

[Kaitsurinu1991]

This is wonderful! <3
You have such a gorgeous voice. ;//;

[Seymour]

said it before, I'll say it again~
You were born to for this kinda work <3

[Erica]

While I do love the voice you're using here, a lot of the spots seem... inappropriate with that kind of that same bland rhythmic tone. After the car spot, you seem to have gained the tiiiniest bit more energy in your delivery, but I think you need to push it more. The Pizza Hut spot needed WAY more energy, because I wasn't sold on it it all. In fact, I was probably only sold on the car spot and maaaaaaybe the FF13 spot.

Lucien also offhandedly mentioned that the music and SFX sounded a bit muted and seem like somewhat of an afterthought.

So long story short; Pick more energetic spots and tighten up the mixing aaaand give this another go :O

[Cydonia]

While I do love the voice you're using here, a lot of the spots seem... inappropriate with that kind of that same bland rhythmic tone. After the car spot, you seem to have gained the tiiiniest bit more energy in your delivery, but I think you need to push it more. The Pizza Hut spot needed WAY more energy, because I wasn't sold on it it all. In fact, I was probably only sold on the car spot and maaaaaaybe the FF13 spot.

Lucien also offhandedly mentioned that the music and SFX sounded a bit muted and seem like somewhat of an afterthought.

So long story short; Pick more energetic spots and tighten up the mixing aaaand give this another go :O

Car spot? O_o There... was no car spot? lol
I didn't make the Pizza Hut spot sound overly energetic since I've learnt that when you do some commercials, you want to sound as though you're talking to your best friend or sound kinda girl-nextdoor-ish. They sound cheesy in the US because obviously, the US is home of fast food and whatnot. Here, UK commercials don't sound over the top, hence why all of my spots are in my own accent. They probably all sound bland because my voice is so smooth... sorry about that I guess, lol.

Thanks for listening though, Erica. :)

[Erica]

Car spot? O_o There... was no car spot? lol
I didn't make the Pizza Hut spot sound overly energetic since I've learnt that when you do some commercials, you want to sound as though you're talking to your best friend or sound kinda girl-nextdoor-ish. They sound cheesy in the US because obviously, the US is home of fast food and whatnot. Here, UK commercials don't sound over the top, hence why all of my spots are in my own accent. They probably all sound bland because my voice is so smooth... sorry about that I guess, lol.

Thanks for listening though, Erica. :)

Sorry. It was that "millions of people blah blah blah" spot

And actually, I think you DO want to have your commercial reads sound personal. If you're just cold reading a script, that doesn't make people want to buy things. It bores them. People respond better to someone who is more like them. Even if the spot isn't an energetic one, you want to have a genuine sense of pathos from the talent who is reading or else that person just sounds cold and aloof. It's like "Why do they even care? Oh right. They probably don't because they're just getting paid to do it" And that's not what you want people to feel from your performance. You want them to believe that you believe in what you're reading, because if you don't care, why should they?

I understand using your accent and catering to those in the UK and that's not the issue I had at all. You can still sound personal in a read and not be over the top or too cheesy like us Amuhricans (HURR HURR). I'm sure you don't need examples since you live in the UK and hear commercials catered to people in the UK all the time.. but check out Lioncourt's (Phillip Sacramento) 2010 commercial reel on Facebook to see what I mean.

And sorry that I pretty much called your voice bland before... (actually it's not so much the voice) but the reel was honestly pretty boring for me and I feel like it needs more variety. There's definitely a base to an eventually REALLY GOOD commercial reel though.


EDIT: Actually, I read part of your response wrong.. but now that I have a better grasp at what was said... My problem with the Pizza Hut spot was that you DIDN'T sound like anyone's "best friend" or "girl-next-door"ish. It didn't sound personal to me at all and that's what that spot really needs more than anything. Again.. not saying to be super cheesy. Just make it more conversational.

[CrowSama]

For your first Commercial Reel I think it's pretty decent. Now for my critique:

First of all, I think this is just me being used to the over-the-top style of commercials here in America but the "Pizza Hut" part didn't sound "convincing" enough for me. What I mean by that is as the audience of the commercial, it didn't make me want to go to Pizza Hut and eat there and that's not what you want if you're trying to advertise. You want to capture the audience by sounding more conversational and maybe a little casual.

Now, the "Lloyd's TSP" (please correct me on the name if I typed it wrong) part sounds much better than the Pizza Hut part. Judging by the things you said on this part, having your voice sound solemn and kinda soothing fits the content of the commercial.

Coke Zero: THIS is how you should have sounded more on the Pizza Hut part, just less over the top, since when it comes to advertising a product you want to sound you want to go and have some of that because "the voice in the background makes the product seem really good." Especially if it's a type of food or drink.

FFXIII: imo this is your second best take (the Coke Zero part being the best one) out of the entire Commercial Reel. It's kind of hard to explain it in detail but what really caught my interest on this one was your delivery of the lines. It's subtle yet convincing.

Laptop(?) Portion: Pretty solid. Just give everything up to the "you are the next sensation" part just a little bit more of a "buttering up, pep talk" kind of tone and this one is golden.