View Full Version : Ribb0ns Winter '10-'11 Demo Reel
Ribb0ns
02-21-2011, 09:31 PM
My 2nd demo reel! Please comment and critique
+Click Here+ (http://www.box.net/shared/c212jh9j4t)
I was told to go for original voices and more variety,
so i tried that this time. Any help you have to offer me
would be most helpful! Thanks! :blush
Ribb0ns
02-22-2011, 03:48 AM
bump bump bump :heart
Ribb0ns
02-22-2011, 11:09 PM
Bump bump......bump? :l
Seymour
02-22-2011, 11:39 PM
Yur off to a great start, your range was pretty impressive, however I feel that your flow with lines was a little too slow most of the time, and some of the acting seemed sorta of forced or bland at times, focus on hitting that just right, and you are golden, keep up the good work :)
CrowSama
02-22-2011, 11:54 PM
I love the voices you did in there but like Seymour said some of them sound forced although I don't think they were bland though. The 2nd, 7th, and 8th lines were the ones I thought were forced. My favorite one has to be the 11th line.
Ribb0ns
02-23-2011, 06:08 AM
Yur off to a great start, your range was pretty impressive, however I feel that your flow with lines was a little too slow most of the time, and some of the acting seemed sorta of forced or bland at times, focus on hitting that just right, and you are golden, keep up the good work :)
thank you! :] could you please tell me which you thought were forced and which were slow? I want to fix it if i can! :]
I love the voices you did in there but like Seymour said some of them sound forced although I don't think they were bland though. The 2nd, 7th, and 8th lines were the ones I thought were forced. My favorite one has to be the 11th line.
thanks! your favorite one was me crying? xDD lol that one i was most worried about. my problems i was told to fix in my last reel was more range and i seemed emotionless. I had a crying take and they said it seemed fake. Any thoughts? My old demo reel is here if your curious: http://voiceactingalliance.com/board/showthread.php?60176-Voiceover-Reel-No.1&highlight=
VoiceActorDreamer
02-23-2011, 08:28 AM
I really like your lower range but it sounds like you aren't that comfortable down there, or maybe it was simply because of the delivery. You have a really nice range though, a bit more intense emotions would be nice though. ^^
Ribb0ns
02-24-2011, 12:32 AM
I really like your lower range but it sounds like you aren't that comfortable down there, or maybe it was simply because of the delivery. You have a really nice range though, a bit more intense emotions would be nice though. ^^ thanks! but how so more intense? which characters? and which low voices did you like?
BigTUnit1
02-24-2011, 03:38 AM
Look I'm here! Whoopie!
Anyway, I thought I would start with the positive, which outweighs the bad by quite a large margin. There were many different voices on display here, and each felt like a different character. Pacing was a bit straightforward in my opinion though, as a good amount of them had the same pacing, so experiments with some quick and energetic reads, and follow it up with something slow and deliberate, to show a definite acting range. Okay, now to analyze each voice!
Voice 1: Good voice, although there are two things that you could do to make it even better. Seeing as this is your first line, a pause of non-speaking would look pretty bad to the average producer, so find something to fill the space, even if it's just an "ahem!". Also, on the side of mixing, I would add a reverb to the voice to make it sound like you are speaking into a microphone in a large room, since I think that is what you are going for anyway.
Voice 2: I would move this line to a different part of the demo, just to divide up the vocal range in the demo a little bit, but other then that, I would change the music to something a little more appropriate. That is simply a mixing gripe though, since the voice is fine.
Voice 3: I would suggest switching voice 2's spot for this one. The differentiation between the young and nervous to the deep and sultry would catch most people off guard, which is great.
Voice 4: "Please don't pop those P's please, please don't pop those P's"
Beyond quoting a tongue twister, it definitely applies here, since they are pretty distinct in my headphones. Good job with the voice differentiation, and you did a pretty good job at sounding the part without sounding forced. Fix the popping, and it should go swimmingly.
Voice 5: Ouch! Good cartoon voice, but adjust the levels a tad. There is some slight peaking distortion. Once again, good differentiation, but if anything this much differentiation should be at the beginning of the demo, since the first fifteen seconds of the demo are crucial.
Voice 6: I really liked this voice, it's just a shame that the popping appeared again. pronounce your P's just a bit softer, and it should help.
Voice 7: I personally think this would sound even creepier if you had more of an "Oh dear! You must be dreaming. I didn't just kill a man and stuff him under the floorboards. Here, have some tea!" Basically, Pull back just a tad, to give more of that creepy nuance to the performance. I think it would sound good for a line like this.
Voice 8: You attempted old lady! Rock on! You popped the B though :(
Voice 9: I would try more of a valley girl on this one, because the "Aaaaah!" sounded a little rough in that voice.
Voice 10: I probably wouldn't put a voice like this in the demo reel, only because this kinda delves into the realm of impression. The country voice is very sellable, but maybe more of a cowgirl motif would fit the scene.
Voice 11: The line is a little too vague. Who is he? Why do you trust him? What did he do? Crying lines are always tough, but being specific makes a character more sympathetic, since I know why I should feel bad for her. Also, I would make the crying sound a little more wet, as though you are talking through your tears.
Voice 12: Oh. You did Valley girl. Nevermind lol. I digged this voice, but again try to avoid being vague. Instead of stuff, it should be a Grande Mocha soy milk latte half caf no cream double sugar and a blueberry muffin...or something like that.
Voice 13: I would add more of a rasp to this voice, to see if you can pull of an evil little boy. Surprisingly big market for those.
Well, that is me being nitpicky, but overall I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the demo reel. I think with some tweaking here and there, it would be quite solid.
Ribb0ns
02-24-2011, 06:35 PM
Look I'm here! Whoopie!
Anyway, I thought I would start with the positive, which outweighs the bad by quite a large margin. There were many different voices on display here, and each felt like a different character. Pacing was a bit straightforward in my opinion though, as a good amount of them had the same pacing, so experiments with some quick and energetic reads, and follow it up with something slow and deliberate, to show a definite acting range. Okay, now to analyze each voice!
Voice 1: Good voice, although there are two things that you could do to make it even better. Seeing as this is your first line, a pause of non-speaking would look pretty bad to the average producer, so find something to fill the space, even if it's just an "ahem!". Also, on the side of mixing, I would add a reverb to the voice to make it sound like you are speaking into a microphone in a large room, since I think that is what you are going for anyway.
Voice 2: I would move this line to a different part of the demo, just to divide up the vocal range in the demo a little bit, but other then that, I would change the music to something a little more appropriate. That is simply a mixing gripe though, since the voice is fine.
Voice 3: I would suggest switching voice 2's spot for this one. The differentiation between the young and nervous to the deep and sultry would catch most people off guard, which is great.
Voice 4: "Please don't pop those P's please, please don't pop those P's"
Beyond quoting a tongue twister, it definitely applies here, since they are pretty distinct in my headphones. Good job with the voice differentiation, and you did a pretty good job at sounding the part without sounding forced. Fix the popping, and it should go swimmingly.
Voice 5: Ouch! Good cartoon voice, but adjust the levels a tad. There is some slight peaking distortion. Once again, good differentiation, but if anything this much differentiation should be at the beginning of the demo, since the first fifteen seconds of the demo are crucial.
Voice 6: I really liked this voice, it's just a shame that the popping appeared again. pronounce your P's just a bit softer, and it should help.
Voice 7: I personally think this would sound even creepier if you had more of an "Oh dear! You must be dreaming. I didn't just kill a man and stuff him under the floorboards. Here, have some tea!" Basically, Pull back just a tad, to give more of that creepy nuance to the performance. I think it would sound good for a line like this.
Voice 8: You attempted old lady! Rock on! You popped the B though :(
Voice 9: I would try more of a valley girl on this one, because the "Aaaaah!" sounded a little rough in that voice.
Voice 10: I probably wouldn't put a voice like this in the demo reel, only because this kinda delves into the realm of impression. The country voice is very sellable, but maybe more of a cowgirl motif would fit the scene.
Voice 11: The line is a little too vague. Who is he? Why do you trust him? What did he do? Crying lines are always tough, but being specific makes a character more sympathetic, since I know why I should feel bad for her. Also, I would make the crying sound a little more wet, as though you are talking through your tears.
Voice 12: Oh. You did Valley girl. Nevermind lol. I digged this voice, but again try to avoid being vague. Instead of stuff, it should be a Grande Mocha soy milk latte half caf no cream double sugar and a blueberry muffin...or something like that.
Voice 13: I would add more of a rasp to this voice, to see if you can pull of an evil little boy. Surprisingly big market for those.
Well, that is me being nitpicky, but overall I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the demo reel. I think with some tweaking here and there, it would be quite solid.
Thanks travis! :] This really helps! I dont know why my b's and p's popped so much (i didnt notice till you mentioned it) but maybe its cause I was playing with the sound on audacity? or maybe i just said it too loud. either way, I'll see what I can do to fix it.
Thanks for critique on the crying line. I did one last time and was told i was emotionless, so i guess ive fixed that a bit. however I agree I need to work on being more specific in my lines with what is going on. I was just afraid to put in any detail because I was told my lines last time ran too long. I will work on it though! Thanks!
As for placement and mixing, i'm still really new to it, so i dont know the in's and outs. your comments really helped me notice the weird things I put or didnt put in my demo. >.< I will work on it! thanks!
Over all, thanks very much for critique and It's gonna help me a lot! :D
Twidge
02-24-2011, 07:06 PM
Wow, you're really good! I'm actually looking for some voice actors for a game i'm making! I sent you a PM about it, if you're interested :)
Ribb0ns
02-25-2011, 02:22 AM
Wow, you're really good! I'm actually looking for some voice actors for a game i'm making! I sent you a PM about it, if you're interested :)
thank you very much! <3
SonicTheVA
02-25-2011, 05:51 PM
Now why didn't I leave a comment on this earlier? xD Anyway this demo reel is good. I like your lower range voices the most. The only suggestion I have is speak a little faster because I felt that you were speaking a bit too slow in most of your lines. Like everyone else said, a bit more emotions and energy into some of your lines would be even better (especially in your 2nd, 5th, 7th, 9th, and 11th lines). Don't be afraid to spice things up and just feel free to overexaggerate yourself. It's like you were holding back in those lines. But other than that, good job! =D
Ribb0ns
02-25-2011, 08:02 PM
Now why didn't I leave a comment on this earlier? xD Anyway this demo reel is good. I like your lower range voices the most. The only suggestion I have is speak a little faster because I felt that you were speaking a bit too slow in most of your lines. Like everyone else said, a bit more emotions and energy into some of your lines would be even better (especially in your 2nd, 5th, 7th, 9th, and 11th lines). Don't be afraid to spice things up and just feel free to overexaggerate yourself. It's like you were holding back in those lines. But other than that, good job! =D
thank you very much! :]
your critique means a lot especially since you commented on my first demo. ^^; Hopefully i've gotten better? lol it's nice to get critique. theres always room for improvement!
SMfandub
02-25-2011, 11:06 PM
I absoloutely love your voice #3. It is amazing it is so fitting for Sailor Uranus in my supers fandub :) and the last voice would be awesome for nehellenia if you are interested. SPECTACULAR JOB
Ribb0ns
02-26-2011, 06:39 AM
I absoloutely love your voice #3. It is amazing it is so fitting for Sailor Uranus in my supers fandub :) and the last voice would be awesome for nehellenia if you are interested. SPECTACULAR JOB
wow! thank you! <3
Ribb0ns
02-26-2011, 07:53 PM
Bumpety bump bump! <3
CrowSama
02-26-2011, 10:00 PM
thanks! your favorite one was me crying? xDD lol that one i was most worried about. my problems i was told to fix in my last reel was more range and i seemed emotionless. I had a crying take and they said it seemed fake. Any thoughts? My old demo reel is here if your curious: http://voiceactingalliance.com/board/showthread.php?60176-Voiceover-Reel-No.1&highlight=
No, I was referring to the voice after that where you were being a stuck up bitch. I must have miscounted =/
Now a full critique of your Demo Reel starting from the VERY beginning.
Voice 1: Nothing really wrong with it besides adding a little reverb like what BigTUnit said.
Voice 2: It sounded a bit forced to me for some reason and the background music didn't really fit in well but then again I could just be nitpicking.
Voice 3: Now THAT'S a seductive voice! Besides the line where you were being a stuck up bitch this one is also my favorite out of this Demo Reel and probably your best one.
Voice 4: Sounds like a believable little girl asking for a candy to me. Not much to say about it.
Voice 5: Adjust the volume a wee bit softer and it's set to go. Very good cartoony voice, just a bit too loud and sticks out like a sore thumb when it comes to the volume.
Voice 6: This sounded a bit bland to me. Put in a little more energy and emphasis on it since the character should be feeling uneasy with the character she is talking to since she doesn't really want to be around this character any longer.
Voice 7: This is another one that sounded forced to me. Maybe because it's a crazy voice? Either way it still sounded forced to me.
Voice 8: I'm content with the old lady voice so not much to say to that. Much better than how I try to do an old man voice.
Voice 9: The "aww" part sounded like a moan in pleasure and sounded like "aahhh." Work on that unless it was supposed to go like that. The rest after that was ok though.
Voice 10: I would probably just ditch this one since it felt unnecessary for me to add this one.
Voice 11: Like you said, the crying sounded fake but I think that's not a bad start to learn how to make it sound realistic. If you want to get better at that try watching Filipino soap operas on Youtube or something and focus on the characters' delivery when they're crying for they are very good at doing that. Here's a good start to getting better at that (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq0YpvD9168)(ignore the fact that you won't be able to understand any of whatever they're saying and just focus on their delivery). Before you or anyone asks, yes they WERE crying for real during recording although you can't see it well on the link.
Voice 12: I LOVE THIS VOICE! You really caught the essence of a stuck up bitch on this one (at least I think I do from my personal experience with people like them).
Voice 13: The laugh at the beginning could have been a tad thinner and it would be great. Same with Voice 9.
Overall much better than your first try and please take what I just said with a grain of salt since I'm just nitpicking while trying to keep positive at the same time.
CrowSama
02-26-2011, 10:35 PM
Damn double post
Ribb0ns
02-27-2011, 04:50 AM
No, I was referring to the voice after that where you were being a stuck up bitch. I must have miscounted =/
Now a full critique of your Demo Reel starting from the VERY beginning.
(( lay out ))
Overall much better than your first try and please take what I just said with a grain of salt since I'm just nitpicking while trying to keep positive at the same time.
Wow! thank you for the lay out! this helps a whole lot. ^^ I'm glad i did better this time, but after reading your comments, i can see where there are weak spots and mess-ups. thanks for the link too! i'll use it to practice! I need to learn crying lines! i want to do well, not just skim by with "ok" you know? Critique is much appreciated. thank you. :]
SMfandub
03-01-2011, 02:58 PM
Bumpety bump bump! <3
Would you be interested in those roles?
Ribb0ns
03-02-2011, 12:01 AM
Would you be interested in those roles? Aw, i would love too! but at the moment i have too many roles going at once! I can if you just doing a clip, but i just cant take on a series at the moment. :) let me know what your plans are and i'll let you know! :)
SecretJustin1130
01-29-2012, 03:24 PM
I said it once I'll say it again because I mean it. You should send that to FUNimation:
http://www.funimation.com/how-do-i-become-a-voice-actor/14976
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