View Full Version : DarkAstar's 2010 Commercial Demo
01-16-2010, 09:35 PM
DarkAstar's Commercial Demo
Download / Stream (http://www.4shared.com/file/198870039/e3bc5405/Commercial_Demo_MP3.html)
Critique as you feel the need to. Be harsh. If there's anything to improve, I want to know.
01-20-2010, 01:41 AM
Yay! New Demo!
Well I must say your voice is amazing, but you already knew that didn't you? =)
Great way to start and end the demo! I was engaged right from the start, and I loved how you finished it. The time was reasonable as well.
A few things though, there is one clip that required a bit more serious acting than what I heard. That was the one where you were talking to your audience asking them if they were in an accident. I felt that what you were saying didn`t match what the music was saying. Like, you didn`t really understand what you were saying. You didn`t really connect with your audience in this clip. Honestly, you didn`t really sound that understanding to me, you sounded a bit bored. I really hope that makes sense, its hard to explain in writing, so I hope you understand.
I would also suggest adding a smile, or smiling when you speak during some of these clips, I think it would add a bit more energy to the ads, as you seemed too relaxed during some of the clips. Try to be more energetic, not too energetic, just energetic enough to get the point across. This was something I saw during all of your clips, minus the really serious one.
Remember, all these commercials that you do, you must put part of you inside all these commercials. These commercials are supposed to reflect your different personalities!
I think that`s about it. You know it, and I know it that you have great talent. Keep it up man!
01-20-2010, 01:53 AM
Hey, thanks for the critique, man!
Mmhmm, the smile factor seems to be what I've gotten the most feedback about, but thanks for pointing out the tone of the injury claims clip! I was getting a feeling that the tone was off, but nobody had said anything about it yet.
I'm already working on a second draft; shortening some clips, adding other ones with different tones, recording lines that lacked that little "umph" they needed, etc.
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