Original RP -- Joe Angel -- Episode One

[Swartzie_VA]

Greetings all!

I'm proud to present to you Joe Angel, an original radio play series about an angel who becomes a private investigator on Earth at the price of his wings. Joe's first case, entitled "The Man Cursed With Luck," has it's first two scenes available for download.

Note: please right-click and select "save target as" in order to preserve limited bandwidth. Thank you.

Scene 01: Enter, Miss Elise Richards (http://magnus_9.tripod.com/JA_Scene01_HQ.mp3)
Format: .mp3
Size: 5.53 MB
Length: 05:33

Scene 02: The Crime Scene / "Ain't Ever Seen 'Em Before" (http://magnus_9.tripod.com/JA_Scene02_HQ.mp3)
Format: .mp3
Size: 3.2 MB
Length: 03:37

Cast (in order of appearance):
Joe Angel -- Matt Alan
Elise Richards -- Qux
Mary Lane -- RP Nara
Ruby The Waitress -- Kyndrill

SFX: The Recordist, Sounddogs.com
Music: JRT Music Library (courtesy of Sounddogs.com)

Comments are welcome & appreciated, and above all, enjoy!

P.S. : Expect Scene 03 & an Outtake Reel in the future.

[rpnara]

Good job! Sounds great!

[Masahiko]

Hey, Great Stuff, I Loved it!

But matt, You sound like youre reading through the whole RP. Wheres the emotion, man?

[Swartzie_VA]

Thanks for the feedback, Masahiko! I appreciate that very much. Be sure to stop back to hear how it ends.

About Matt: What I was looking for was a performance that was a bit subtle and subdued; in other words, not someone who was extremely expressive. What I wanted was for Joe to sound like the old hardboiled detectives of film and radio's golden age (like the 40's and 50's), and Matt caught on to that easily and did it well. Plus, Joe's actually a pessimistic angel (which is an oxymoron, when you think about it, lol), so he doesn't get too happy about things that happen to him or around him.

But anyway, thanks again, man. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Kyndrill]

Nice job! That was well mixed, well written and entertaining. I thought the other actors did great, too. Your music and SFX were selected well. The one sound effect that didn't work for me were the chimes when the rabbit's foot was around--they just seemed a little jarring. Maybe if they were just a little quieter, it wouldn't bother me.

Anyway, great job, and I'm looking forward to hearing more!

[Nikki Wright]

Disclaimer: Okay. The last time I reviewed this, it was not well recieved at all. However, I was asked from one of the cast members to review it again at the request of the producer. This is going to be just like last time: Brutal honesty with my opinion. Can't handle an honest opinion? Get out of the game.

Mixing:

Part I: I must say your mixing has definitely gotten better. I hardly noticed any pops and clicks. I noticed a bit of static, though I'm fairly sure that was someone else's mic. However, towards the end, Joe Angel kept fading out and coming back in and then fading out once again. It was very strange and made it really distracting to me. At first I thought that it might be some sort of effect, but I later picked up that it probably wasn't intentional. I think this has to be my only real complaint about your mixing. I heard a few awkward pauses, but nothing too extreme.. and like I said: Getting much better. ^.^

Oh, also: Was Joe Angel narrating sometimes? I honestly couldn't tell if he was or not.. everything he said sounded the same and there was no effect or anything to convey that he was narrating when he was, so it was kinda confusing. I understand that you're trying to portray an "old time" radio style play, but even they had some variation when someone would switch to narration mode.

Part II: The first thing I noticed was that I really had to listen to what Matt was saying. Thankfully, he sent me the script so that I was able to follow along.. but I don't know if it's because he reads the lines so quietly that you have a hard time mixing it with the bgm, or if it's just a slight mistake you made. Either way, I'm sure it's something easily fixable on either part.

Writing:

Part I: As I said before, this kinda thing just seems plain to me. I haven't really heard anything as of yet that really draws me into it.. but at the same time, it's this lackluster quality that makes me think that maybe there's more to it and I should continue to give it a chance. Still, though, it seems as if the story is missing something. Just my opinion, though.

Part II: The storyline seems to finally be picking up, but, I still don't find much interest in the project. I'm all for originality, and I applaud what you're doing as I believe that there should be more original projects, this just isn't drawing me in as of yet.



Joe Angel/Matt Alan:

Part I: While I will be the first to admit that your acting is getting better, your emphasis in strange places isn't. It sounds like you're reading off of paper (I know that's basically what you're doing, but there's more to voice acting than just reading off of paper.), or that you're over-acting, due to the strangely emphasized words. I feel also that you're trying to imitate other people instead of voicing the character in your own voice. Sure, it's nice to look to other people for inspiration, but people cast you to voice the character in your own voice - the way you interpret the character. Not the way someone else would. Keep that in mind. ^.^;


Part II: You sounded nice in the scene, though a bit quiet. As I mentioned above, I was really glad to have a script to follow along with, otherwise I wouldn't have had a clue as to what you were saying sometimes. Maybe it's the cars going by my house or something, but in all honesty, it was fairly difficult to hear you sometimes.

Elise Richards/Qux:

Part I: Your acting was nice, though, there was a definitely noticeable static on your lines, but that's easily taken care of and it wasn't so awful that it made me want to skip through anything you said. You did well.

Part II: N/A

Mary Lane/RPNara:

Part I: You have such a nice voice. Though, for some reason, after following certain people's lines.. yours sounded.. different. Like, compressed or something, if that makes any sense. Your acting was good, though a bit flat in a few areas..you did a nice job.

Part II: N/A

Waitress Ruby/Kyndrill:

Part I: N/A

Part II: I absolutely adore your voice, as well as the accent that you used. It was really good, and your acting was great - though some of the lines seemed a bit.. muffled (..?) at times. Keep it up. ^.^

Overall, you are getting much better.. keep it up. You definitely have some potential. ^.^

[Swartzie_VA]

For your information, most old radio shows didn't have a difference between when people were narrating or not; the most they did was play music. Since I only had three songs that I could use for the production, I decided to leave things the way they were. The fact that you couldn't figure out that he was narrating doesn't surprise me one bit.

And also, what is this business about "not being able to handle it" and "getting out of the game?" Are you threatening me? What is it with you people on here, that you believe that hard, brash critisism, not constructive criticism, where you might support the project in some way with suggestions on how to improve, rather than just making the person feel like dirt, is the right way to go?

You're the one who needs to get out of the game; not me. I'm here to stay. Guess you'll just have to put up with me from now on.

[Swartzie_VA]

You know what? I take that all back. You gave an honest opinion, and you're absolutely right: I can't handle it. My apologies for thinking that you were out to ruin my project and me.

[Nikki Wright]

Firstly, I would like to thank you for bringing to my attention that due to my honesty, I am a bitch who deserves to be bitchslapped, and furthermore, I am a moron. Though, as I've said before, and as many people will tell you - I am really kind. I am very honest and dislike dishonesty. If you should ever converse with me, you would know this.

If asked for an honest opinion, I give it.


For your information, most old radio shows didn't have a difference between when people were narrating or not; the most they did was play music. Since I only had three songs that I could use for the production, I decided to leave things the way they were. The fact that you couldn't figure out that he was narrating doesn't surprise me one bit.
I wasn't talking about the music. I was talking about the way Matt was narrating or his lack of effects. You could have put an echo, lowered the music, done *something* to make it different. And I am not the only one who felt this way. I am just the only one who is not willing to lie to you. If I am bitchy for being honest, that's fine.

However, if you do not have a script on hand and it all sounds the same, people are going to be confused. That's just the way it is- that's common sense. So please do not insult my intelligence, that's just inane.


And also, what is this business about "not being able to handle it" and "getting out of the game?" Are you threatening me? What is it with you people on here, that you believe that hard, brash critisism, not constructive criticism, where you might support the project in some way with suggestions on how to improve, rather than just making the person feel like dirt, is the right way to go?
No, I was not threatening you. I was telling you that if you can't handle the heat, you might as well not do it. If you're going to get this blown out of shape everytime someone tells you something you don't agree with - obviously, you cannot handle it and shouldn't make yourself go through it. I will tell you what most people are too afraid to tell you on these forums. I was being honest. Most people here will tell you "Oh, baby, here's some candy, you did such a good job!" even if it sounded like crap. I was telling you straight forward what I felt was wrong with it, what I heard was wrong with it, and little mistakes here and there. I wasn't bashing your ability to mix or to write or whatever. I was pointing out errors that you could look out for the next time you mix your productions. The best producers take this in stride and look out for that the next time - they grow from these things.

What I meant by my disclaimer was: If you can't handle constructive crticism like a grown up, then you shouldn't be producing. Bottom line.

Brash? I really didn't think so. I could have told you, "Man, your mixing skills really suck." - For the record, I don't think they do, just so you have a clear understanding of that - but I didn't. I told you that there were some minor problems here and there. You not understanding that surprises me since you seem like an intelligent person.


You're the one who needs to get out of the game; not me. I'm here to stay. Guess you'll just have to put up with me from now on.

So let's see.. by being honest, I somehow need to leave what I've loved for the last three years. By being honest I am deemed "a moron"? By being honest I am labeled "A bitch"? Hmm. Hon, if you're going to continue producing, you're going to have to deal with people whose opinions do NOT match your own. Grow up.

And for you to want to "make my life a living hell" for being honest? That's mature. Now who's threatening whom?

[Tsubasa-no-kami]

For your information, most old radio shows didn't have a difference between when people were narrating or not; the most they did was play music. .

well that just goes to show how much you know about old radio plays. one can totally tell a differance in them. the subtle transtions in voice were what made or broke that sense of the character thinking, an them talking. old radio plays were quite the craft, and so was acting in them. do some more research man.

an for all the contraversy over matt... i think you just need to adjust your pacing *nodnod*

everyone in this SOUNDS great.... BUT acting to the callibur of an old radio play, wellp you're getting there. x) paacing! and being in character!!!

the sxf rocked!!! well done ^0^ mostly the timing with lines was good too.

in conclusion, no art is perfect. that's why its art.. it can alwasy be pushed further, and one can always learn sommit new. what counts is how you adapt, change, and take bloody criticism!

[Swartzie_VA]

Nikki Wright:

Things were said about you in anger in response to what you had posted. These things were not intended to be seen by your eyes, but by whatever hand of fate, they were. I apologize for that, and for theorizing that you were out to get me. I see now that you're only trying to help me improve, and for that I'm actually grateful...I'm glad to know there are people like you out there who are willing to be honest and give us new guys solid advice and criticism, no matter how much we may not like hearing it at first.

Again, I apologize for the things said to you, and I apologize to management for turning this thread into a fight thread.

[TamTu]

Hmm. I'm gonna have to take a listen later.

[Qux]

:hugging the wall: I hope everybody's feathers are unruffled. I was going to post here earlier but...didn't.

Anyway, I really did like the script, it reminded me a lot of some of the Shadow episodes I've just been listening to. I myself had no trouble hearing the dialogue over the background, although there were differences in the amount of noise reduction of the characters' lines--mine were static-y (um...I'll fix my static in future! Sorry! And thanks for your comments about me, Nikki). I eagerly await Part 3!