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Swartzie_VA
11-21-2004, 03:45 AM
Greetings!

This is the trailer for my first production in the AVA world (but not the first ever), entitled "Joe Angel." It involves the story of an angel who becomes a private investigator on Earth at the price of his wings. The episode, based on script length, will probably amount to approx. 15 minutes, and I have a total of six planned overall.

Here's the specs for the trailer of Episode Numero Uno, "The Man Cursed With Luck":

DOWNLOAD HERE (http://www.angelfire.com/pa5/swartzie/Joe_Angel_Trailer.mp3)
Right-click and select "Save Target As" in order to preserve limited bandwidth. Sorry for any inconvenience.

EDIT: I did attempt to stream this, and I noticed that it played extremely fast, and made everyone sound like they were Papa and Daisy Smurf (please note that this is not intentional). If you experience this issue, try downloading it wholly and playing it from your hard drive, while I attempt to find a better host...

File: 1.29 MB
Format: 112 kbps stereo MP3
Length: 1:36

Cast (in order of appearance):
Yours Truly as the narrator
Matt Alan as Joe Angel
Qux as Elise Richards
RP Nara as Mary Lane
Kyndrill as Ruby the waitress

Any feedback is much appreciated, and above all, enjoy!

Matt Alan
11-23-2004, 07:51 PM
^^; As I said on Flava, I was amused.

Nikki Wright
11-23-2004, 11:23 PM
Okay, once again, I must preface what I'm going to say with this: I'm being honest, can't flame me for honesty.. or you shouldn't. So please don't. <3

Mixing: The volume levels were all over the place and I heard a few clicky-sounds.. but other than that, it wasn't too bad..

Writing: In my opinion, the writing was pretty clichè, nothing original and nothing that really caught my interest that much. And.. mm..making an assertion like "Well loved voice actor"? Ah.. personally, I don't think that works... and personally, I don't think that would make the rest of your cast feel good to hear that he's "well loved" (in your opinion) and the rest of them are just.. there. :x If you're going to praise one, praise them all.

Narration/Swartzie_VA: Back up from the microphone, it sounded like you were about to make out with it.. and as a result, made you a lot louder than everyone else. Also, your acting could use a bit of work. Even though it was just narration, your emphasis on certain words was awkwardly placed and sometimes it sounded like you were asking a question instead of making a statement.

Joe Angel/Matt Alan: I don't know if this was because most of the time you were in contrast to the narration or what, but you sounded almost too quiet. Also, while your acting is steadily improving, I still get the feel of strangely placed emphasis in certain places when you're speaking.. it is improving, though.

Qux/Elise Richards: You have a nice voice, I just wish that your quality were a bit better. If anything took away from your performance, it was that there was some definite background noise whenever you spoke ;-; But that's easily fixable, so no worries. Good job, overall. ^.^

RPNara/Mary Lane: Good quality and great job with your role - though, I didn't get to hear *too much* of you, so there's not too much I can say outside of what I just said.. mm. Keep it up. ^.^

Kyndrill/Ruby: I think you have a cute voice, but I could barely understand what you were saying due to how quiet you were in contrast with the music. From what I did hear, your acting was lovely and you did a good job with the accent. Hopefully, you'll be heard more in the future.

Anyway.. I think it shows some promise, but you need to work on the mixing a bit - make sure everyone can be heard, and heard evenly and.. yeah. Again, sorry if I hurt any feelings or made it seem like I was stepping on anyone's toes. ^.^;