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hideko_dahlia
11-19-2004, 01:45 AM
I'm sorry to put this up here, but I have to get this out of my system right now. It's been driving me crazy for the past two years. Maybe longer. I don't know anymore. I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need someone to tell this to. I would put it up on my DA journal, but the person this is about is on my watch list-- and I'd rather her not know.

She's been driving me crazy. She's a control freak. We used to be best friends, but somehow, we split apart. It hurt. It still hurts, and I don't think it will ever stop hurting. I don't know if it can. It's hard to breathe as I write this. It's that hard to talk about. But whatever happened, she tried to control my life.

"You're such a horrible friend." "You have no emotion. You're a robot." "You are so cold. You really are the Ice Princess." "You can't wear that sweater-- it clashes with your hair." "You left me for your other friends." "You beat me." "You abused me" "You traumatised me for llife."

All those things she said to me. At first, I didn't care, because we were friends. Then, as the drifting grew more significant, it started to cut. And now it's cut deep. That year we stopped talking was stressful already, but add in the social troubles, and it was hell. We were all trying to make up for our misgivings from that year, and yelling at each other and the crying on each other's shoulders for comfort in the bathroom at school. I had finally had enough of her making fun of me and bringing me down for who I was-- I hit her. Not very hard, but she, being the drama queen she is, played it up to its fullest. I wish she would have just slapped me back, but she took everything the completely wrong way, even as I explained it. She pushed me away-- quite completely, both mentally, and physically.

We didn't talk for the next year. The most we would do was look at each other if we were in the same room. That next year, I changed schools, and she cut her hair. I had loved her hair-- it was long, and hells thick. I knew right then that we would never be friends in any sense of the word ever again. The only reason she had kept her hair long for the past two years was because I had liked it. It was her way of telling me that it was over. Forever.

Eventually, we did start to talk again. It was hard, and very formal. Nothing more than the bare minimum required of civility. And then it started getting easier. I was hopeful that we might have some sort of spark there again. But, being at a different school, I couldn't see how she really felt. That was what I was told from my other friends there. She constantly was going on and ranting about how horrible I was and how bad a friend, and how abusive, violent, mean, emotionless, and just generally bad I was. No one else from my circle of friends believed a word. And they told me about it.

It was then that I just tried giving up. I would only speak when spoken to, regarding her. I tried to stop caring. And that is a lot harder than it sounds. I couldn't do it. I couldn't stop caring about what she was up to, even after all that. It's just my nature. Unconditional love is the only love I have ever known.

She's always been an actress. She had leads in middle school, but then suddenly lost confidence in her ability and got mostly minor roles in high school. This year, senior year, she has the lead in 42nd St. Dorothy Brock-- a totally melodramatic bitch with a bad temper. Everyone, including her, knew that she only got the role because that's how she is in real life. She won't admit it that fully, but everyone else isn't slow about telling it. She doesn't have to act at all to be in character. And it was in that thread that my world crashed down.

"I got a note. Why do you think I'm like Kjirsten?"

I looked at her. Kjirsten had been our old Drama Club President, who everyone hated for being a controlling bitch; she and I both despised her. And now she was acting exactly the same way. I knew it, everyone else knew it. One of my friends had been on the brink of telling her off for me earlier that day when she went on one of her rants about me. It was a mutual feeling among my friends. But, apparently someone had told her that that was what I thought. True though it was, I couldn't respond. No one could figure out who would have told her, because almost everyone felt that same way about her and her money-flaunting, controlling, aloof ways. She thought she was better than everyone else. She still does. Especially better than me.

She looks at me like I'm a child to be tolerated, even though I'm much closer to the business world than she is. I'm also a year older. And it's not like she doesn't act childish. But it didn't matter to her.

Those words cut. Her eyes her especially accusing. I'm condemned, and I know it. At least in her eyes. I've done nothing wrong, but I can't help but feel guilty. I hate being in these arguments with her!! I just was to be friends again! I want everything to work out between us. I want the fighting and all the trouble our relationship has caused to end. I am lost on what to do. All I can do right now is cry. I've lost all hope. I don't know what to do now. I can't hate her, but I can't forgive her.

After I was done with doing makeup and hair for the play, and the play had started, I snuck out the back door of the stage and left. I couldn't stand to be there a minute longer. I cried on the way to my car. I cried in my car. I drove home, and cried. But no matter how hard I cry, the tears won't wash away this horrible feeling... I know I have to keep my head up and try to make the best of it, but it's so hard. It's not surprising to me at all, but it's still hard.


Sorry this is so long. I just needed that out. If you actually read the whole thing, I'm sorry for dumping my problems on you, but I have nowhere else to turn, and you guys are so amazing and good. I promise I'll be back to myself soon. I'm sorry for troubling you all.

Crimson
11-19-2004, 02:17 AM
All I can really say is rely on the friends you know are there for you. The best thing you can do is find comfort by being with people that you trust.

Henageshi
11-19-2004, 07:47 PM
I'm sorry you gotta go through all that crap. I know how it feels for one of your friends to treat you like that. *hugs* Get better!

Tamashii
11-24-2004, 05:32 PM
Hideko! You poor thing! *glomps*
And don't worry, you're not troubling anyone, we wuv you! ^^

silent rose
01-05-2005, 06:03 AM
Hideko... don't be sorry at all for telling us your problems. I haven't been a member of these forums very long, but I have come to love them so quickly because of all the nice people who are a part of this place. Here you can always find a person who will help you and who can relate to you. And in your case, I can relate to this problem. Alot of people always tell me that I don't show any emotion- that I have "the emotional range of a teaspoon" I believe one of them put it... and for that people think I don't care about them. When in fact that's the only thing that I really do care about. I will not bore you with the details, but I've lost alot of friends that way. It hurts when someone talks bad about you, but it hurt a thousand times worse when that person is your friend. Just stay close to your other friends and don't let that girl get you down. Don't waste your tears on her. It doesn't matter what anybody says about you as long as you know who you are. Hope you feel better...

Yami no Kitsune
01-05-2005, 02:42 PM
Don't worry about telling us here. I think most of us are an understanding bunch really. ^.~

I've been exactly where you are. I had a friend just like that - she's cold and manipulative and eventually I just told her I didn't want anything to do with her anymore, but she still has her claws in my life and somehow I can't hate her for it. The best thing you can do is try to cut ties with her. Just be civil to her when you see her, and try to forget about her when she's not there. Anyone who makes you feel this way isn't worth thinking about. You don't have to hate her, just try not to think about her. While you two shared good times, no doubt, it doesn't change how she has treated you. Remember that you are worth so much more than that.

Sariki
01-11-2005, 12:11 AM
wow i know how you feel kinda. i have been in the same situation and i mean i know how it is i cutted my self for TWO years. and in my ninth grade year of high school i got it so deep that i had to go to the hospital that is when i relized that it was no good doing that and it was bad so i really that is all i can say

atheistium
01-11-2005, 08:14 AM
*hump hug*
Dont worry about it. Shit happens sadly to the best of us and do we honest we all rule :P haha. I#ve been through stuff like that with an old boyfriend. One moment happy happy next he hates me and used our relationship to abuse that hate. ehh, people suck sometimes!

SatansLittlePenguin
01-11-2005, 07:23 PM
Well high school was like 5 years ago for me, so I hardly remember it. But what I do remember is that all the people that gave me problems in high school have ether disappeared, or grown up enough to see past are differences and become friends. Witch means that if you still want her as a friend it might still be possible, but it might be a matter of time. After all if she tries to hate you forever, it will do nothing more then drive others away from her. People have a way of seeing the truth even threw the most well placed lie. And if all she can do is speak negatively about you, people will see how negative a person she is. Then she will have significantly fewer friends and no idea why.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is, what goes around, comes around. And if you still value her as a friend keep your distance tell, (a) she comes to you or, (b) she needs your help, and remember. "Every fire will eventually burn it's self out."


Best of luck:
James

hideko_dahlia
01-12-2005, 01:04 PM
She actually apologised to me, and said that she doesn't want to fight with me anymore. So that's good. Meaning we're actually kind of getting along-- or at least being civil.

And thank you all so much for your nice words. It's nice to know you're loved. ^.^ Sometimes, you just need to be reminded... *hugs everyone*