View Full Version : I could just use a little... comfort, I guess.
06-22-2004, 01:01 AM
I'm sorry. I sincerely apologize to anyone who totally hates me for this post. I'm especially sorry to TamTu, who thanked me for not being dramatic in the boards. I just have no where else to turn. You must understand. I feel that everyone has a little drama in our life.
I feel very confused. And lost. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Maybe it's depression, or maybe it's just the extreme changes that have been taking place in my life. I have no one else to turn to. The only friends I actually have are argumentative, cold and very not understanding. The one friend I could actually talk to, who would listen, my parents banned me from long ago because "She was such a bad influence." Bad influence my ass. Besides, she's going through a worse depression than me. As a matter of fact, today she called and told me she wanted to just disappear; to sleep and never wake up. No after life, just an eternal sleep.
My sister never cares anymore. My parents hate me because I'm different, and happier. Everyone I meet seems to take a disliking to me. I wish I could have talked to someone in person, but it seems that I was deprived of that privilege already.
So here I am. Sitting at my computer, home alone. As if my life wasn't f**ked up enough. Again I'm sorry, but I just need help. I can't take it anymore! Sometimes I wanna cry, but can't! Sometimes I wanna scream, but don't. And sometimes I, like my friend, just wanna disappear too.
Go ahead and flame me if you like. Go ahead and judge, and discriminate, or whatever. But I don't care anymore. I jsut wanna give up, but my mom already wants to take me to a phsychiatrist. So now you know, what's happenin' behind the mask.
Help, please? :cry:
06-22-2004, 02:03 AM
...I'm going to be very harsh, and say in my humble opinion that I think you need to get an LJ.
And, if you don't hate me now, feel free to IM me.
06-22-2004, 02:11 AM
Hmm... I totally forgot about my Live Jouranl account. ^^ Thanks Matt. I'd IM you, but my mom's home, and she doesn't let me use messenger...
06-22-2004, 09:22 AM
This is a long shot, but I think you should go outside, and if you have a personal stereo of some description then take some nice music with you.
Obviously I don't know exactly what you're going through, but sometimes it can help to just feel alone and unstoppable by yourself. Take a walk in a lonely field somewhere, and let the music add to the fantasy. Escapism is probably the next best thing to disappearing completely.
This might sound utterly ridiculous, but I thought I may as well put it across because it often works for me when I feel like everything might come down on top of me. I don't get that feeling anymore; things merely seem to happen, and I find I can accept them.
Stay alive, Sakura!
06-22-2004, 09:26 AM
I know it's stupid, but that's what they tell mental hospital depression patients to do when they feel down, and it actually works really well.
Just go outside and run or something.
06-22-2004, 01:52 PM
Thanks for all the help you guys. I feel better, I tried some of your suggestions, and even got a bonus by remembering my Live Journal! ^^ Thanks again.
06-22-2004, 02:05 PM
LOL Thats what I do.
Exercising works good too. And when I feel depressed I always watch a funny movie.. just to get a laugh out. ^^
07-07-2004, 06:34 AM
Aww sakura ai *huggles*
I feel bad for you but don't worry we all love you here. When I feel bad I like to go for a walk (especially after its just rained) and just concentrate on listening to the environment around me. Sounds weird, ne? It may not work in a busy city though. I dunno but concentrating on the quietness anf soft sounds helps quiet the storm of my mind and when I go home I fell completely refreshed.
07-07-2004, 08:43 AM
Let your mom send you to a shrink if that's her inclination. If you're smart, you'll find it to be infinately useful, and it's no money out of your pocket.
Broken Angel Tima
07-07-2004, 12:26 PM
So long as you don't get a cold, horrid, uncaring child therapist like I had you'll be alright.. They're not all "evil and uncaring" or misunderstanding as many people think - they can help some people sometimes.
I really don't know what to say.. I felt exactly like you many times, I went through a lot of hard times - but things can get better, I'm living proof of that.
So long as you have yourself and the small possibility of a better future - you'll be alright.
Feel free to PM me with any problems, request advice, or just to talk.
07-07-2004, 04:24 PM
I've known it to be a great help to scream really loud when you're home alone. It relieves stress.
07-07-2004, 05:00 PM
Drink hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream. Always works for me. >D
Nah, seriously. When I'm mad or upset about something, or plain depressed, I write and draw stuff. Sometimes, I sing, too. What you need, dear, isn't a shrink. You need an outlet. A CREATIVE one -- beating the heck out of your pillow only fosters unhealthy stuffing of anger, as ironic as that sounds.
Also, try to talk to your parents about this. You cite that your parents hate you... Believe it or not, no parent really truly hates their child. Try to talk to them. IF you find it starts to get heated, don't shout back. Keep your voice low and calm -- it makes them FOCUS on what you're saying, instead of on their feelings. Shouting only makes it worse. You can also request a few minutes alone if you need to go calm down.
*Hug* We're all with you. Let us know how you got on. <3
07-07-2004, 05:05 PM
Im sory your having such a rough time, when I get depressed and such I go for a walk, or watch a comedy or just right down how I feel, adter doing that Irealise that it isnt really so bad and that everything will truly be ok.
first off, quick apologies about the grammar and possible spelling mistakes; i'm suffering from insomnia again.
sometimes age and the exactly how many people there are around you have an impact on how you feel. How old are you, exactly? I don't want to hazard a guess, but I would assume that you're around my age, if not a bit younger. When people are in their middle school/high school years, they want to fit in and belong. It's why popularity and fitting in are such big issues during this time period. You said in your post that your friends "argumentive, cold and not understanding," which might explain why you feel so.. alone. Friends are a big part of anyone's lives (except for a hermit).
As Akurah said, a therapist might help. When you're depressed, it's better to talk to it out then keeping it in yourself. Keeping it inside of you only generates more anger and eventually, self-pity, which might lead to hating yourself and suicidal thoughts (personal experience, though I didn't actually try and kill myself).
When you're feeling alone, try picking up a book and reading. I do that sometimes, and I find myself finishing the books quickly and losing myself in their world. Or, as Fiona said, try some form of art. I would personally recommend blasting happy music with a strong beat and dancing to it. It releases energy and you'll feel loads better.
Hope you feel a little more.. well, comforted, sometime soon. It's not fun feeling alone.
07-08-2004, 01:22 AM
And what do all these tips people mention have in common? One thing: each releases endorphins! Reading a good book, having a good laugh (biggie), exercise (big one there, too), dancing (and there, too), listening to music you enjoy, and eating yummy stuff as well. lol Anyway, endorphins are THE single best natural cure for depression, stress, anxiety, etc, etc. Aren't biochemicals wonderful?
Anyway, if you would like some official definitions, here are several:
07-19-2004, 05:22 AM
Get a good laugh. (www.ebaumsworld.com x3)
Get a good cry. (Watch a movie!)
And then count all the good things you have. I know you won't want to do that, and I know you think it won't work. Just get into it, think of those who's lives suck worse than yours, and then just think of fun things you can do, or things that'll make ya smile. Be positive. ^_^ Que Sera Sera, right?
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