Manga College Project with original characters

[Deiji]

This was my first ever attempt of making a manga. At the time i made this, which was sometime in late winter-early spring, i had never seen a real manga, apart from a couple of scans on the internet since they don't sell any where i live. Anyway, since i was a big fan of Fruits Basket at the time (still am but not as much) i based this manga on a few years after the Fruits Basket ends (although of course it hasn't ended yet). The 2 main characters are original created by me and my best friend. We were just going to write a fic about it, but i find drawing much more fun than writing. This manga that i've put up isn't from the begining because i haven't started from the begining yet, it's just a section of the story since this was a college project and i had 3 weeks before the presentation, and the begining was way too depressing and angsty, everyone would think i was a freak lol. Anyway the story is that Yuki becomes seriously ill during a very cold winter and soon dies from the illness (sry but i want to tell it in as quick as possible otherwise no one would read this cus it'd be too long xD) and Tohru, of course is very depressed by it. Then not long after she discovers she's pregnant (with Kyou's child, appologies to Yukiru fans!!) and soon Akito becomes so mad, he locks Kyou away for good. So after a few months, Kyou dies because he refuses to eat anything from depression and becomes ill from the cold. Tohru is almost at the point of insanity from depression and when her baby is born, she discovers it's a boy cursed with the spirit of the rat. After a few months, Tohru eventually completely loses it from depression of losing Yuki and Kyou and not being able to hold her baby, so Hatori is forced to erase her memory. (ok, i know a lot of you probably HATE this storyline, but i did tell you that its angsty!) Anyway after a few years, Tohru's son, who was named Haruki meets Emiko (who is the new cat of the Sohma's) and thats basicly what the manga section is about. Although at the begining they're older and its all flashbacks of when they met. Anyway i won't keep talking about it lol, so here it is. Oh and please forgive me for the horrible blocky outline on the front cover, it was the first time i used photoshop and for some reason i used the pencil tool to outline. By the way, in the parts where Haruki and Emiko are kids, that's supposed to be around 10 years after Fruits Basket, so everyone looks a bit older.
~~~

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/TSIBcover.jpg

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_1.jpg

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_2.jpg
Gomen Nasai = Sorry/I'm Sorry
Demo = But

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_3.jpg
Ano = Uhh

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_4.jpg
Hai = Yes

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_5.jpg

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_6.jpg
Neko = Cat
Nezumi = Rat/Mouse
Jyuunishi = 12 animals of the chinese Zodiac (or in this case, the cursed family)

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_7.jpg
Honto = Really
Hai = Yes

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_8.jpg
Kawaii = Cute
Inu = Dog

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_9.jpg
Inu = Dog
Otousan = Father

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_10.jpg
Hai = Yes

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_11.jpg
Arigato = Thank you

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_12.jpg

http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/_Daisy/The%20Sky%20Is%20Broken%20manga/Manga_pg_13.jpg
Jyuunishi = 12 animals of the chinese Zodiac (or in this case, the cursed family)
Ano = Uhh

~~~

That's all for now, i'm not sure if i should carry on with it or not yet.

[Erica]

I think you should continue! It's a really cute manga I've never even seen FB, but WOW this manga is adorable =D!

[topleka]

Cute. I can definitely see the Furuba style artwork there. The story is rather angsty. Make it a deep dark mystery that slowly plays itself out in the lives of the two new kids. Muahahaha! The expressions are lovely, and I love the profile images (I can never draw people from the side...) Your bodies are little weird to my eyes, though. They look too curvy, and not rigid enough. Not that I'm saying you should draw them like robots or anything, but giving the bodies more form would probably help. Just my two yen, though.

[Deiji]

I think you should continue! It's a really cute
manga I've never even seen FB, but WOW this manga is adorable =D!

Thanks so much! I'm considering to continue, but i'm also working on a
new original manga project right now, which was inspired by Inuyasha,
but i think i'll work more on this one too. Thanks so much for the
compliments! You should really read/watch FB, its really good!


Cute. I can definitely see the Furuba style artwork
there. The story is rather angsty. Make it a deep dark mystery that
slowly plays itself out in the lives of the two new kids. Muahahaha!
The expressions are lovely, and I love the profile images (I can never
draw people from the side...) Your bodies are little weird to my eyes,
though. They look too curvy, and not rigid enough. Not that I'm saying
you should draw them like robots or anything, but giving the bodies
more form would probably help. Just my two yen, though.
Thanks for the advice, i'll definetly think about that next time i draw!
I was planning on being evil with Emiko and Haruki with a real dark, angsty
side! lol, how could i not? I only had a few weeks to do this though
before the presentation, and this was all i came up with. But i will work
more on it and bring in the angst! xD Thanks for the advice and compliments!

[katt]

*eyebrow twitches* one thing that really irritated me is the use of romanji along with english. Either you stick to romanji completely (ie: watasahi wa Katt-to desu) or English (Ie: my name is Katt). For god's sake, don't mix the two together. Not only does it look amature, but it also it's irritating.

And also, fan manga is called Dojinshi. I'm a bit of a purist though, when it comes to terms. If you're not living in Japan/not Japanese, then you have no right to call yourself a manga-ka. You're a cartoonist.

Other than that, it's cute. The layout of the pages could use some work. Try not to cram so many frames into one page. And though you're drawing the same characters multiple times on the same page, remember to use your body guidelines to make sure that the bodies are in proportion/the poses aren't too odd

[Deiji]

I'm sorry the Japanese irritated you, but i only used it because a Japanese friend of mine recommended it since the Japanese use English words sometimes in their projects. Also, i know i'm not a manga-ka and i'm not claiming to be. This was a project i did for college work and most people in my class don't know the first thing about Manga or Japanese, so i had to call it Manga for the presentation, which my teacher told me to do. I just thought i might as well call it the same thing on here. That's why on the title of the post i called it Manga College project.
The Layout of the pages aren't great but it was my first try, and because i got high grades for the project, i got a chance to meet a Comic Illistrator and he said it was good and taught me other techniques. I know the proportions could use some work. I was trying to mimic Natsuki Takaya's style with her skinny characters, but unfortunatly i didn't do a good job at it. Anyway thanks for pointing out all of my mistakes and i'll try to do a better job next time.

[U-1]

You call that manga?!
Where's the nudity?!
HEHEH! Just kidding! That's really good.
Now all you need are some screen tones.

Manga Tip: The lines of the background must be thinner than those of the characters.

Keep on rock'in!

[Aeris_angel_21]

Its so cute <3

[Tsubasa-no-kami]

OOooOOoo a doujin! ^0^ veery nice!! i like how your art is reminiscent of fruits baskets, but it your own take as well xD those are my fav kinda doujins!! you should start a doujin circle or sommit... it would be spiffy to read this on a webby site *hugglie* ^-^