Sex: Just Sex, Plain and Simple

[Gabi Star]

Its such a common topic thats so often hushed. SEX! You know, that thing you do with someone to create other someones? Yeah, that thing.

So without the dirty details, what's your view on sex? Is it for enjoyment or is it for reproduction? Is pornography an art or an exploitation? Can anything good come out of loveless sex?

I'd love to hear some opinions before I go ahead and give mine.

[shadowsvoice]

I think it is a beautiful thing shared between two people who care for one another. It is definitely not something to just have with a random stranger because A. You dont know them, and B. Who knows what kind of stuff they will give ya. It can definitely be done for enjoyment, lord know I know many people who cannot wait to get home and have sex, but it can also be done only as a way to reproduce. It all depends on the person.

[McCorvic Sucks]

Sex: It's a good time.

[Kuro]

Its such a common topic thats so often hushed. SEX! You know, that thing you do with someone to create other someones? Yeah, that thing.

So without the dirty details, what's your view on sex? Is it for enjoyment or is it for reproduction? Is pornography an art or an exploitation? Can anything good come out of loveless sex?

I'd love to hear some opinions before I go ahead and give mine.

Sex is often hushed simply because it's never falls in the black or white, sex is different to all people. For me Sex isn't just a way to pleasure ones self or another. It is a representation of your love for another, but at times it's really just a simple quick way to get your rocks off.

Course it hasn't been that for me in a LONG time.

Pornography can be alot of things...if you want to take the cheap way out it's just a sort of visual aid for those interested in increasing pleasureable activities with their partner.

Some of it very well can be an artform, some of it is just humor filled up past the brim.

Generally most of it is cheap explotation designed to get your rocks off, and get some cash flow from it. I don't agree with the conditions, or the purposes for doing it but call me a hypocrit if I don't enjoy a bit of it myself.

Hey I'm a guy, sue me.

Loveless sex can in it'self be hurtful, never really helpful. It releases the physical energy, it relaxes and fulfills that need to it's extent but it can never really provide you with what a real loving relationship could.

[Tomoe]

Sex is sweet.

Sober, drunk, whatever. It's awesome. It's sweet when it's with someone you care about, but that girl you met like 45 minutes ago on the dancefloor is now in your room and you guys are going at it? Hey, that's sweet too.

[Tom]

My personal perspective on sex is that it is an inherently primal and instinctive, natural act. People are programmed to have sex.

As animals, we are programmed to have sex, which is designed to feel good, so, like every other living organism, we will keep doing it, so we can reproduce and have children, whom, will also be programmed to have sex and reproduce; and so forth.

As humans, we recognize that sex [will] feel[s] good, and, as an advanced organism that we are, we are aware of ourselves, other people and our environment; as humans, we run beyond our very basic survival and reproductive instincts, into the realm of thought, reason and free will--we begin having sex because we WANT TO FEEL GOOD by having sex, not just because we need to make babies.

Self-awareness also complicates matters, because humans are conditioned by other humans to categorize love and sex in the same folder--thus paving the way for romance, monogamy, marriage, families and community. BUT, with this enlightenment of awareness, we also complicate matters by mixing sex with free will and personality--that's where you get homosexuality and bisexuality. Chemical differences could also contribute to such things, along with other stuff like physical sexual malformations mixing with human enlightenment bring us transgendered[s]. And so forth.

Sometimes, monogamy is not always the answer for people. Many couples recognize that love and sex are completely separate entities and live very happy, honest, open lives, together.

Sex is not always about love. Sometimes, many people recognize that sex is just a basic, natural act that they and everyone else are familiar with.

My VERY, VERY, VERY personal view on love and sex is this: Does having sex with the person I love feel good? Hell, yes. But, as a healthy human organism, I also believe that sex is sex, is sex, is sex, is sex, is sex, is sex--and, again, hell, yes, it feels good. Love is love. Sex is sex. Sometimes, my partner and I have a try at something new to round our sexual experiences together out, by, introducing a third party. I usually prefer it to be, at least, a friend--if not a very good friend, which, currently, is probably only three people (aside from my partner). Love can lead to happy relationships--but it is a product of the mind, of consciousness; sex is an ancient, instinctive tradition--one that my partner and I share together as openly and honestly as we can.

Moving on: Pornography is simply indulgence. America is fat. Yuppies buy mansions every day. Likewise, people want to see/watch something that will sexually turn them on. Porn is harmless (unless participants and performers are not willing and/or are under age). Violence and crime are also indulgences, but, they are not in the same category as lust.

Bottom line is that everyone has different views on sex. One thing everyone should agree on, though, is that when it comes to other people's views and behavior toward sex, such opinions should be respected--as one would want others to do the same for one's own beliefs and morals regarding sex.

P.S. Don't fuck with me. These are just my opinions. lol

[McCorvic Sucks]

I'd agree with everything Tom said.

Except porn. I don't see it necessairly as an indulgence, just another aspect of being a human being. I guess some porn could be considered art as in it being about human relation and sex and the body ect ect. But, I'd say very little porn falls into this category.

Free love and harmony, man.

[Klaymen1]

Can anything good come out of loveless sex?
I don't know if it's good to you personally, but yes it does.



I'd say very little porn falls into this category.
Little people need to earn a living too >O


we WANT TO FEEL GOOD by having sex
As do the dolphins, as do the dolphins....


It's sweet when it's with someone you care about, but that girl you met like 45 minutes ago on the dancefloor is now in your room and you guys are going at it? Hey, that's sweet too.
Except when they've been dancing 5 hours plus. Then you can replace sweet with smelly.


Sex is often hushed simply because it's never falls in the black or white
Yes it does. And repetitively.


Who knows what kind of stuff they will give ya.
This is why prostitiution should be legal and standardized in the United States. I find comfort in paper work.


So besides everything people say sounding dirty I think sex is simply a selfish thing. I want. Nobody needs sex. It's something you want. No matter the reason. You can live without ever having sex. I am a selfish one too.
Thank you Womens Study course, you finally payed off.

[Moose]

So besides everything people say sounding dirty I think sex is simply a selfish thing. I want. Nobody needs sex. It's something you want. No matter the reason. You can live without ever having sex. I am a selfish one too.
Thank you Womens Study course, you finally payed off.

Says the guy with the kitten for an avatar. :XD Just a little creepy.

Ok, my views on sex . . . for tommorow, but you can expect alot of flaming in my direction after I post.

[McCorvic Sucks]

Let's ask 1947 what it thinks:

1947 on Dating (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kSwtdVz8Z-8&mode=suggested&search=pink%20flamingos)

1947 on Homosexuals (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kPziYI9yhB0)

[Tom]

Except porn. I don't see it necessairly as an indulgence, just another aspect of being a human being. I guess some porn could be considered art as in it being about human relation and sex and the body ect ect. But, I'd say very little porn falls into this category.

Sure, it's an indulgence! It's the result of indulgence of sex, it's imagery and it's appeal to the senses. I'd say that everything human is about indulgence--in perspective, anyway. Lesser organisms operate on the order to survive and reproduce, while we, as humans, have gone far beyond operating simply by those primal instincts--we are aware of ourselves, others and our environment. We are no longer driven by survival and reproductive instincts, alone, but, by complex thoughts, emotions, advanced sensory awareness and most of all: Free will.

We don't just eat the apple to survive, only to fuck the nearest possible mate and then die; we eat the apple and remember it, think about it, form original and spontaneous ideas about it, paint pictures of it on cave walls (art), eat more apples than necessary to survive (because we like how apples taste).

We don't just mate and then die; we think about mating, we anticipate mating, we enjoy mating, we become cultures that embrace the phallic symbol and make statues of it and use shafts and other lengthy symbols to represent an erect penis, we carve protective carvings of Sheelanagig--an ancient Gaelic symbol of a woman, traditionally depicted sitting with her legs spread apart, toward the viewer, whilst stretching her goodies to reveal an exaggerated vulva--in an and above doorways and churches, we take photographs of and video tape sexual situations, to be edited and presented to, intentionally, sexually arouse the viewer; we purchase, produce and indulge in such things (pornography); and, sometimes, we take great measures to edit said things to look and/or sound, especially, widely acceptable in an emotionally and sensually pleasing way (artistic porn)--the result of indulging in two or more things (some leading to art and some to porn) at the same time--indulging in beyond what is necessary to survive and reproduce, but, rather, acting on our expanded awareness and personal pleasure.

Like I said, though...it's just one (of many, possible) perspective(s). :)

[McCorvic Sucks]

I get ya now.

I was thinking of indulgence as in overboard, unecessary and unrelated to being a human being.

You were talking about indulging ourselves in what makes us a human being.

I gets ya.

[Tom]

Let's ask 1947 what it thinks:

1947 on Dating (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kSwtdVz8Z-8&mode=suggested&search=pink%20flamingos)

1947 on Homosexuals (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kPziYI9yhB0)

LMAO! (!!)

[Tomoe]

Tom, I am not sure I understand your "America is fat. Yuppies <3 mansions" and then talking about pornography. To me, it seems as if you are making a correlation between America <3ing excess and pornography, but then again, pornography is just as prevalent and popular in some other cultures.

The rest of what you say I agree with, even though I'd like to simplify it for my liking: "Sex is good. Me want more. With multiple people."

[Tom]

To me, it seems as if you are making a correlation between America <3ing excess and pornography, but then again, pornography is just as prevalent and popular in some other cultures.

I was drawing analogies between primal instincts and the resulting situations caused by our free will and indulgence (beyond what is necessary to survive or reproduce) in them. People have to eat to stay alive, but 'indulging' in food beyond what is necessary, causes a greater diet and even being overweight (for some people). People indulge in possessions beyond tools used to find food and hunt game to survive. We emotionally connect with these objects, treasure them, and covet more and more personal possessions, leading to greed. Likewise, people enjoy, seek and have sex for personal enjoyment--beyond doing it for the sole purpose of making children.

Also, I did not include the Fat America analogy to imply that America is the only nation that enjoys porn. I was simply using it because it is commonly known knowledge that I knew most people would recognize and understand.

Finally, keep in mind that I'm using the term 'indulge' and its dictional siblings loosely. It's just imagery; please don't take it that far or that literally.

[Klaymen1]

Says the guy with the kitten for an avatar. :XD Just a little creepy.
I like how the 2 have no connection what so ever. And don't get me started on avatars. I'll own you more times than documents in a patent office.

[Cordelia LeFay]

Having just come from a very short lived relationship, this topic has been on my mind as well.

My deal is that I'm unable to be completely satisfied with sex unless I have an emotional connection with the person. Of course, there are times when I'm really horney and I could probably do it without the connection, but those always come at really odd times, so it's really hard to act on those.

For me, sex happens in my mind, so if my partner hasn't taken the time to create suspense and sexual tension, it's just hysterical. Like, the guys I've been with think they'll are sauve and passionate, when they haven't done anything at all to elicit that passion.

Like, I just don't want to take advantage of, and the only way I can be sure of that is if I'm actually in a loving relationship. Then, I can be a sex fiend all I want. :P

[James N.]

I'm waiting until I marry. That's my choice and I'm sticking to it.
James

[Moose]

I like how the 2 have no connection what so ever. And don't get me started on avatars. I'll own you more times than documents in a patent office.

I was just saying when I see someone post something, I see their avatar saying it basically. That's the process that goes through my mind. I just thought it was funny seeing (in my mind) a kitten talking about sex. Nothing against you personally.

[Windy*]

I'm waiting until I marry. That's my choice and I'm sticking to it.
James
Somehow I'm not surprised.



Most of my opinions on the matter have already been expressed here; no need to repeat anyone. :)

[James N.]

So I'm wrong to wait until I marry? I'm somehow "old fashioned"? I'm just supposed to go have sex with whoever the heck I feel like?
James

[Windy*]

Nice use of "jumping to conclusions." Who said, or even inferred, ANY of that?

Chill out already. :P Stop making silly accusations. If you can't be civil in these discussions, don't participate, please.

[Tomoe]

I just had sex twice and it was fantastic.

XD

[Moose]

You're not wrong. That's your decision. She's saying make your own decisions. No one should make your decisions but you. If that decision not to have sex is forced upon you, it's wrong, but if you make that decision, then that is your choice, and whatever that choice is, you should stick with and not feel bad about it.

As for your decision making you "old fashioned" that is how people are going to label you, and there is no way around it. Like if I said sex is amazing and I'd do it every chance I got, people would label me a man-whore/pervert of sorts. Nothing is going to change that.

My view of sex is that it's your decision. As long as rape is not involved, you should have it whenever you and your partner are ready. It's not supposed to be just physical, but an emotional feeling. I don't think it should be timed either. Like right after marriage, or right at a certain age. If you are still not ready after marriage, then you shouldn't have it, or if you are ready and you are sure you are in love, then yes, you are ready to have sex.

Sex is more of a maturity thing. When one can look upon sex as more than pleasure, and as what it is supposed to be, a bonding of two human souls, then they are mature enough to have sex. But if someone just views sex as a physical pleasure, they are not ready.

[Matt Alan]

I'm waiting til marriage for that final step. But do I have any problems with say, oral sex, before marriage? Hell no!

:P I pity my future wife.

[Zankoku no Yami]

Mwahahaha, I'm waiting till marriage too.

Though, I doubt I'll ever get married. So I'll die a virgin X3

[Moose]

But do I have any problems with say, oral sex, before marriage? Hell no!

:P I pity my future wife.

Ha ha, always nice to have a good laugh about a subject people can get so tense about. And that brings me to another topic. . .

IS ORAL SEX ACTUAL SEX?

I think it is just because it is basically like sex without the chance of impregnation. It still has to do with the emotional state of those having sex.

[Windy*]

I... don't think it is. :D Sex is usually defined by sexual intercourse, penetration... no penetration invovled with oral, so I don't consider them the same thing. On a technical level, anyway.

But on an emotional level, I agree they're similar.

[Tomoe]

I personally can't stand it when people say they are waiting for marriage to have sex, but they'll have oral sex now. I believe that it's all the same in my book. I ctually think oral sex is more intimate than actual intercourse...I mean, come on, you're putting your mouth on someone's sex organs?

[Windy*]

I personally can't stand it when people say they are waiting for marriage to have sex, but they'll have oral sex now. I believe that it's all the same in my book. I ctually think oral sex is more intimate than actual intercourse...I mean, come on, you're putting your mouth on someone's sex organs?

But, intercourse = putting your sex organ INSIDE someone else's? Whoo, that's intimate to me! :o A little too intimate.

[Tomoe]

Haha yeah.

I mean it's all about personal preference for the person. I had sex before I had oral sex, it wasn't something I was ready for with that person. And then I knew a girl (a really good friend of mine) who only had oral and anal sex because as long as she wasn't getting...penetrated vaginally, she was still a virgin...like, omg.

[Moose]

Yea, I stay away from those kinds of girls, the ones who try to seem innocent because they are techincally virgins, even though they had oral or anal before. Those or just the kinds of people who like to make themselves feel better about their sexual desires by being able to say they are visions. When you ask these kinds of people if they ever had sex before, they say no, and then later say that they actually had anal and oral 90 times. Ughh.

Those people are the ones who say that they never had sex before, except for that guy they had sex with at the bar, but he wasn't anything special, or that guy she had sex with, but he was just a friend, or those other guys . . . They get so wrapped up in their lies that you can never trust them.

See, guys can't really use that excuse except for eating out girls. With blowjobs, anal, and vaginal, they all get the same pleasure from the same place, and that can't really be avoided.

And with that, isn't anal sex supposed to go after vaginal sex? That's what I thought.

[Tom]

I don't think penetration has to be involved before you can call sex, 'sex'. The very real truth, today, is that if you and your partner's bits are out and you are physically interacting for sexual pleasure (or, basically, you are trying to cum), that is sex, pretty much.

Of course, personal opinions (including religion, if applicable), will vary from person to person, regarding the definition of 'sex'--but, that shouldn't deter people from acknowledging that there is a lot more to sex than just penetration. Lesbians and many gay men do NOT have sex by penetration (at least, not all the time), but, ask anyone and almost all of them will tell you that homosexuals, do, indeed, have sex (because, if people didn't believe that, homosexuality wouldn't be such a big problem for a lot of people who don't accept it).

[Windy*]

Yea, that's true... I wasn't thinking about that at the time; just looking at the technical definition of what sex is, which is by now probably outdated... :) So in that sense, anything sexual between two people can probably be considered sex, which would include oral. It's probably most fair to just generalize all sexual activity in that way, otherwise people have issues with integrity, like what Moose said. :s And that's silly.

[Hikuro]

I always liked argueing this with a friend, "If you perform oral sex, are you still a virgin?" She says yes, I say "no" in a technical sense.
Correct, by definition, sexual intercourse is penetration, now for a woman, this is tricky if she masturbates cause she's penetrating herself.....interesting huh? For a guy it's different, he remains a virgin cause he penetrates NOTHING. There's where things get technical cause it allllllllll revolves around the woman and not the guy, just like how women are considered sluts at a young age if they have the simplest bit of sexual intercourse with a guy, and the guy is considered a bad ass mofo by his friends.

When I was younger, I considered sex to be a private thing between two people that like or even love eachother. However it's been agreed by my ex girlfriend, the one I lost my virginity too 7 years ago that sex in general is a primal instinct to reproduce and to today's moral standards we protect ourselves from having sex to reproduce at large numbers. Thus sex is now considered "Fun" from time to time aka Frakin till ya legs wobble.

[Windy*]

Correct, by definition, sexual intercourse is penetration, now for a woman, this is tricky if she masturbates cause she's penetrating herself....

Not necessarily. :P


But I get what you're saying.

[Tomoe]

It's interesting because everyone has different views on it, and I am interested to see where these views come from. I have three siblings and none of us have the same attitude towards sex.

My parents haven't really influenced me.

However, a couple issues ago in GQ it said that Republicans were better lovers. But then again, I'd have to go with Independents.

[GravitasLost]

I'm such a libertarian, I believe so strongly in freedom of expression...

I find it very sad that sex is tied so much to shame and embarassment. I think people need to feel free to explore their sexuality as long as its adult, human, alive, and willing. Nobody should feel bad if they want to wait for marriage, only have sex if its true love, _or_ have 100s of sex partners, or like porn or be a homosexual, or only like sex for pleasure. There should be no shame in choosing to be celebate, nor any shame in choosing to be a porn star. I think Europe and Canada tend to be far more open sexually than America.

Personally I tend to be more on the conservative side myself, and prefer longer term relationships, but I see that as a choice, and not something that should be forced on
anyone..

[Gabi Star]

Eh. I don't know if I can consider Oral sex to be sex. It sounds a little wierd for someone to say they lost their virginity by giving head or eating out some chick. To me, that doesn't sound like sex. To me, it sounds like intimate foreplay.

So, yes, I think you are a virgin until you have sexual intercourse or until you and your partner both attempt to acheive a climax by simultaniously stimuating sexual organs (weee! that gets rid of the confusion about lesbian sex!).

So now my opinions on what sex means.

I believe that sex is simply something to be enjoyed. It's an animalistic instinct and it feels good for a reason: nature wants us to keep doing it! I think as long as percautions are taken, sex can be fun, safe, and actually very healthy (by the way women, did you know you can burn 25 calories with every orgasm? And I'm sure its even higher for men!) Orgasms relieve tension, releases endorphins, calms cravings, and can alieviate things like muscle strain and menstral cramps.

My question almost becomes, why don't we start doing it sooner?! But then my logic kicks in and I quickly shut up. (:

So, no, I believe it might possibly be a waste of time and a loss of some of the most fundimental enjoyments in life to wait until marriage. I think you should "test drive the car before you buy". Sex is such an important part of the relationship, to me. If I don't click in bed with them, then how can I be happy married to them for the rest of my life?

Does that mean I should throw my vagina around for people to do? Nah. I understand risks. And I also understand that sex just happens to be better when you have passion towards the person as well as the act. It's like a second level of stimulation can be reached.

But there can be guiltless sex, too. Just hookups. If you take the precautions and check this person out, there's nothing wrong with a pleasure fuck. Why not? It might not be for everyone, I'm not even sure I could really allow myself to do that, but I don't condemn people who do.

There are so many topics within sex to talk about, I can't possibly do it in one post. (:

[Moose]

by the way women, did you know you can burn 25 calories with every orgasm?
That's my new pickup line :XD . "Hey baby, wanna burn some calories?" Ha ha, I wonder how many times I'd get slapped if I said that.

[Gabi Star]

That's my new pickup line :XD . "Hey baby, wanna burn some calories?" Ha ha, I wonder how many times I'd get slapped if I said that.

Fwahahah! I wouldn't recommend it!

[Tomoe]

I'm always hungry after sex. Like always.

[mandiiv]

I speak as a virgin who is completely ready, prepared and GOING to have sex within the next month. I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but at the same time I know I shouldn't be embarrassed by it!

I shouldn't be ashamed to say I WANT to have sex, but everything around me has conditioned me to immediately feel ashamed for being sexually aware of myself and my wants/needs. Even talking about it with my closest companion, both of us of the opinion that there is NOTHING wrong with sex or porn in itself, we were blushing and lowering our voices, just the two of us in her car. Despite our views on sex, we were still embarrassed - in complete privacy - to talk about it! And that is NOT right! Every influence in my life has taught me that sex is a naughty, dirty thing.

Well, it's NOT. Sex is NOT dirty, it's natural and beautiful! The individuals involved and their intentions are what make it sick.

It's just so sad that everyone has turned sex into this secret, dirty thing. I don't even think porn is wrong -- why's it a problem to indulge in sexual fantasies? Why is it a problem to relieve certain feelings, and in a way quell them so you won't be tempted to go off and screw someone? Why is masterbation looked down upon as something dirty and wrong, when it's just as natural as sex? Why are sexual desires sinful? Why does the word 'sexual' always have bad connotations?

Bleh. Done ranting XD

[James N.]

Nice use of "jumping to conclusions." Who said, or even inferred, ANY of that?

Chill out already. images/smilies/icon_razz.gif Stop making silly accusations. If you can't be civil in these discussions, don't participate, please.

It's the "somehow I'm not suprised" that got me ;) I wasn't reffering to anyone elses post.

-------------

The reasons I am staying a virgin until marriage is that I want to have sex with the person I am going to spend the rest of my life and have kids with. No one else.
I am not gonna take the chance of ruining my relationship with my spouse because I had az bunch of sex with other women.

Also, I may be "old fasioned" in my ideas about sex but I have nothing against dating or kissing before marriage like a lot of radical right wing extremist Christians do (YES I am a Christian, but by NO MEANS a radical right wing extremist). Heck, you wanna make out with a bunch of girls before you find the right one? Go ahead.

James

[Hikuro]

Now in my opinion if you plan it it's sort of dissapointing, that's what happened to me, planned it for 3 months and when it finally happened, it was kind of sad :( but hey I wasn't a minute man or anything, I lasted a good hour...infact my ex says time wise I was the longest....

I use to use the "you can loos 25 calories per orgasm" line to many, sometimes it worked! I also used this one which REALLY worked till I grew up :P "Ya know, I'd love to kiss you from your lips and ever so slowly up past your belly button"
I had one girl who was completely clueless, I offered to show her, she agreed....needless to say she was fun ;)
It's amazing that if you can be creative witha hit line and still be charming, women will actually like you alot, and in some cases wouldn't mind a lil play time.

[McCorvic Sucks]

I find the whole idea of marriage archaic. This doesn't mean that you can't spend your entire life with one person, but far to many people get married and either get a timely and costly divorice or simply stop loving each other. There's nothing wrong with falling out of love but why lock yourself into it and never feel happy again? Not worth it at all.

[Tomoe]

....Those are lines I would never, in a million years use on a woman.

[James N.]

I find the whole idea of marriage archaic. This doesn't mean that you can't spend your entire life with one person, but far to many people get married and either get a timely and costly divorice or simply stop loving each other. There's nothing wrong with falling out of love but why lock yourself into it and never feel happy again? Not worth it at all.
Marriage has worked for millions of people. I know people who have been married 30 or 40 years, maybe even longer, and still love each other very dearly.
James

[McCorvic Sucks]

Marriage has worked for millions of people. I know people who have been married 30 or 40 years, maybe even longer, and still love each other very dearly.
James

Millions when there are billions on Earth. Not that great.

And, like I said, it isn't unfeasible to love someone for the rest of your life. But the idea of love is so intertwined with marriage that it's silly.

[Clintykins]

Damn Hikuro, you'z a ho.

I can't stand frivelous sex. My friend just slept with this boy we've known for like two years, yet they didn't know anything about each other and I was like WTF? (not to mention I was in the same bed as them at the time...bleh) I dunno why I got so pissed during that one occasion. I guess I just don't want my friends to be so immoral like that, because I'm not.

Oral sex, though, I couldn't care less about. I could do it a million times and never feel ashamed. It's just full on intercourse that gets me.

[James N.]

Millions when there are billions on Earth. Not that great.

And, like I said, it isn't unfeasible to love someone for the rest of your life. But the idea of love is so intertwined with marriage that it's silly.

Millions of people in America I mean ;) I should have made that clear, sorry.

There are countless other people in foreign countries who still value the idea of marriage.

America's sexual morality has gone way down over the last hundred or so years.



I can't stand frivelous sex.

I totally agree.

James

[mandiiv]

I have as much respect for a couple that lives together till the end of their days as a couple that's married till the end of their days. In fact, I have the same respect for a sexually active couple that only spends 4 months together. Love is love, and it can end for hundreds of reasons.

No, I don't think people should be promiscuous. But I think there's nothing wrong with having sex with someone you believe you'll be with long-term. There are no garantees that it'll last, but you get no garantees that the love will last with marriage either. So many people get divorced when at one point they thought the love would last; marriage is no garantee of anything these days, only a legal matter. In fact, most people stay in bad relationships BECAUSE they're married, and that's such a binding thing. Which is why I think its stupid to look down upon someone who lost their virginity to someone else, or didn't wait untill marriage.

And there's nothing wrong with saving yourself for marriage either. I just reccomend living together for a long period of time, and getting to know them in as many ways as humanly possible (aside from sexually, of course), because I've always said it: Love is not everything. A relationship needs so many other factors in it to work properly. My mother and father got married after never living together before, never seeing certain sides of eachother. In the end they stayed in an 8-year loveless marriage 'for the sake of the children' all because they didn't know eachother as well as they thought they did.

Though I have every intention of getting married. I just want to make sure I'm emotionally and sexually compatible with the person I want to spend my life with first.

[James N.]

And there's nothing wrong with saving yourself for marriage either. I just reccomend living together for a long period of time, and getting to know them in as many ways as humanly possible (aside from sexually, of course), because I've always said it: Love is not everything. A relationship needs so many other factors in it to work properly.

I think another good way to make marriage work is to just be friends, not necessarily lovers but really close friends, for a long time and get to know as much about the person as possible before diving into marriage or living together.

James

[Tom]

I know several couples who are not married, yet, live happier lives together than some married people I know. My opinion is, you don't need to get married to be happy or to prove that you love someone and you don't need to be in love to have satisfying sex.

I have nothing against marriage or commitment--I just think that love and sex are COMPLETELY separate entities and the inclusions of marriage and monogamy into the mix only complicate matters worse.

As people, we take a lot into consideration when we think about a specific concept (such as sex); we assign human inventions, like emotions--such as love, hate, trust and honesty--to everything we do: Eating, sleeping, having sex, kissing, marriage, etc.

This isn't really wrong, per se, because we are humans, after all. This advanced reasoning is what pushes us above other animals. But, despite that, my personal belief is that many people associate too many emotions and human concepts with sex; the same emotions and concepts that were forged centuries ago (in regards to Western society), that are outdated and no longer apply to modern society.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting to save yourself for marriage, or, being monogamous, or, any of that other morality based behavior and thinking--I just think that a lot of people let society decide for them, what they should do and think and that is sad.

[Gabi Star]

Millions when there are billions on Earth. Not that great.

And, like I said, it isn't unfeasible to love someone for the rest of your life. But the idea of love is so intertwined with marriage that it's silly.

it's entirely possible to love a single person for your entire life. I think, though, it's closer to impossible to only stop at one person.

Not that I'm a "polyamorist" or anything, but I think someone can and should experience multiple lvoers in their lifetime. But I still believe that exclusive union (I don't call it marriage anymore. not secular enough for me. :P) is a wonderful and successful thing! It works. People continuously love each other. People are capable of so much love!

Ah! I'm gushing with warm and fuzzy feelings! Someone hug me!

[mandiiv]

I think another good way to make marriage work is to just be friends, not necessarily lovers but really close friends, for a long time and get to know as much about the person as possible before diving into marriage or living together.

James

I think the same concept applies to all relationships, really.

And I agree with the statement that there's nothing wrong with sex for the sake of sex, so long as it doesn't hurt either party (STDs, the 'sex for sex' mindset not bein mutual, etc)

[Hikuro]

To be honest I don't see myself wanting to marry anytime soon, not because I'm nearly 23 and young, my folks were married at 21, and I wasn't even born(only child) till they were 32.
I just haven't clicked with someone I could see as someone beyond a bed partner...it's odd I got some weird tastes.

Cute girls who are really flirty, I can sleep with them rather easily and I don't even really mean too, it just happens.

Now cute girls who are a lil tighter around the edges, those that haven't experimented and wanna be in love or likeing a guy alot before giving anything up, those are the girls I really like and see myself in relationships with...cause they tend to be more gentle and tender to their guy and wanting to be around 'em.............................the really flirty ones I've been just wanna get banged by me and could care less how quick or long it was....it's just sex with me so it's good enough.

I'm actually an educated young guy when it comes to sex, maybe not so much in flirtation and moves, but the overal sex I'm always told is DAMN good, mind blowing at times....I perfer being patient, learning what they truely desire, and going for it.
That's why I generally like to get to know a woman first before I do ANYTHING......unless they fall under that cute flirty deal......then I'm sort of screwed....

If that makes ANY sense at all......like here for instance....:

Back when I was 15, JUST before I did loose my virginity, my friend Jason on the Wrestling team was dating the head cheerleader at our school, very attractive young girl named Jennifer.
She really liked being around me cause I was shy at the time and was pretty nice to everyone in that sort of way.
Well one day we were all in Photography class and were just hanging out. Then the subject of sex hit.....now Jennifer, she's admited to banging "ALOT" of men, some even much older then her...so yeah we knew she got around. But she never banged Jason cause he was Mormon....it was against his religion.
I admited to her I was a virgin and never done anything before in my life.
The next thing I hear, "Omigod James baby, if I wasn't tied down to Jason at this time, i would take you into the dark room, block that door and I would show you things that you would remember for a life time."

.......I really wished she wasn't tied down to Jason at that time too lol.

[Tomoe]

That's an interesting story.

[Matt Alan]

I've learned so much more than I ever wanted to about some people. I wish I'd never looked at this thread. x_x

[Zankoku no Yami]

I've learned so much more than I ever wanted to about some people. I wish I'd never looked at this thread. x_x

My sentiments exactly dear Matt-chan ^^;;

[Windy*]

I've learned so much more than I ever wanted to about some people. I wish I'd never looked at this thread. x_x

I'm not sure what else you'd expect from a discussion of this nature... XD

Though I agree that some... personal anecdotes may not have been entirely relevant.

[Tomoe]

Or well punctuated.

[Kei]

I'm waiting to have sex until i really love the person I'm doing it with ^.^;

Just because I have this 'idea' that i want the first person I do it with to be there, for like, ever.

Though I know that probably wont happen...its still nice to make sure to have some strong feelings for the person I'm with, that way I won't live with any regrets.

AND THEN I'LL GO RUN AROUND TOWN AND **** EVERYONE IN SIGHT. w00000000t. ._. just kiddin...

[Nanuri]

Since the topic here seems to have shifted more to the discussion of virginity, why we're losing it later, etc. I'm going to throw my two cents in, though admittedly it only applies to a certain demographic.

A lot of people I know are scared to lose their virginity and start having sex because EVERYONE AND THEIR #$@^ING MOTHER always says that it hurts like a bitch.

So at first at least it doesn't feel good... which means that we either want to jump headfirst into the fray because that way we can get better at it faster, OR we put it off forever because we want to delay the inevitable awkwardness of the first few times.

Yeah that's my bit. Kbye.

[Hikuro]

Yeah so aaaaannnnnnnnyways, what I meant was that if you be yourself more often, the oppisite sex generally likes you faster rathern then trying to be cool and sophisticated if that's not really your style.
I mean I had a girl just by being shy, who wanted to rip my clothes off, that doesn't happen as often as I'd like.

Also, I'm the type of guy that'd perfer sleeping with someone that I know, rather then someone I just met off the street or online......uh, unless I've talked to that person for several months then that might be a little different.

Ya know, friend of mine pointed out craiglist to me few weeks ago, I've heard of it but never seen it.
So one day I checked it out in my area, and man I must say, there are some heavily messed up people lookingn for sex there......course ya gotta think if these people are serious with some of their demands or if it's just people messing around having a good time not really serious on their requests.

Like for instance, does size really matter to some of you? I saw posts were women would want 7 inches or more, and I'm like "WOW!" I've never had a problem with this...but I just almost feel offended when women are strictly looking for something like that.

[fukkatsu]

Since the topic here seems to have shifted more to the discussion of virginity, why we're losing it later, etc. I'm going to throw my two cents in, though admittedly it only applies to a certain demographic.

A lot of people I know are scared to lose their virginity and start having sex because EVERYONE AND THEIR #$@^ING MOTHER always says that it hurts like a bitch.

So at first at least it doesn't feel good... which means that we either want to jump headfirst into the fray because that way we can get better at it faster, OR we put it off forever because we want to delay the inevitable awkwardness of the first few times.

Yeah that's my bit. Kbye.

Even if you have sex at an early age just to get the not-so-fun part over with, if at any time you are not sexually active for an extended period of time your muscles in the vagina contract again and when you do decide to engage in sex once more it will actually be like you are a virgin all over again. Most girls don't realize this until it happens and then they are like "Well ow... that hurts again. What did I do?"

For me I have to have that physical and chemical attraction to the person I am seeing to engage in sexual activities. I also have to care for that person. I can't just pick up some random guy from a party and send him right to my vagina. It is awkward and uncomfortable for me. Sex for me is something that is shared between two people that have some sort of connection on an emotional, physical, and chemical level. While that random guy at said party might be fucking hot... it doesn't mean that I just want to fuck him.

Sex and marriage is so old school to me. I like to test out what I am going to buy and the same applies for sex. I want to know that what I will have with this person will be amazing in more ways then one.

[ig.]

I'll simply say that having sex on an escalator can be exceedingly difficult.

[Gabi Star]

Even if you have sex at an early age just to get the not-so-fun part over with, if at any time you are not sexually active for an extended period of time your muscles in the vagina contract again and when you do decide to engage in sex once more it will actually be like you are a virgin all over again. Most girls don't realize this until it happens and then they are like "Well ow... that hurts again. What did I do?"

That happens so often. Some girls contract within weeks! I know that I was very surprised when I felt virginal again, even though I had been sexually active for 5 years. Also, some girls have more than one layer of hyman and can actually bleed each time she has sex (sucks, doesn't it? fortunately, I dont have this problem).

[Moose]

I'll simply say that having sex on an escalator can be exceedingly difficult.

I second that.

[Gabi Star]

I'll simply say that having sex on an escalator can be exceedingly difficult.

I believe it.

[fukkatsu]

Having sex on anything that is moving is exceedingly difficult.

[Tom]

Here's a fun new discussion topic:

Sex toys--do you have any? Do you think you'll buy, at least, one, before you die? Or, are you certain that you will NEVER, EVER buy a sex toy, EVER? Are they just for self-pleasure? Or, can it be a fun, new thing for you and your partner to enjoy together, in the bedroom? Are they just funny things to point and laugh at with your friends? Or, even still, do you think they are "DISGUSTING AND EVIL ABOMINATIONS UNTO THE LORD AND SHOULD BE BURNT IN A GREAT, FLAMING PILE--ALONG WITH GAYS, WITCHES AND BOOKS!!!!"?

Discuss!

[Moose]

Having sex on anything that is moving is exceedingly difficult.

And exceedingly fun, don't forget that.

As for sex toys. I don't have any, and I'm not really supposed to since I'm a guy, but I have to say, they are awesome gifts for girls.

[fukkatsu]

My friends just bought me as a joke... a clitoral stimulator. I think sex toys can be fun! I don't really like any of that S & M type but I think massage oils, stimulators, and other various toys can be fun and interesting to incorpporate into a sexual experience.

[Tom]

And exceedingly fun, don't forget that.

As for sex toys. I don't have any, and I'm not really supposed to since I'm a guy, but I have to say, they are awesome gifts for girls.

You must be the most boring lover on the planet! Either, that, or, you're really young and don't know a doodley duh about sex, yet.

Well, regardless, let me inform you: Not only are there sex toys, designed to simulate the feeling of the inside of the vagina when used on a man (specifically, his at-attention tally whacker), but, pretty much every single chain-o-beads, dildo and doodah, meant for anal play, is marketed for boy butt-hole.

That's right. There is an entire sex-toy industry dedicated to making products that slide up your, very male, anus--because, despite the fact that you are "not gay" and/or, what you may initially think: It will turn you on and you WILL cross the finish line.

*ahem*

That is all.

[Moose]

Wow, OK, that was some weird stuff for me to read, but ok. I know of that, but I don't think your a boring lover if you don't shove shit up your ass (ha ha, for some reason that's funny) I just think I don't need them to "cross the finish line". I honestly think sex toys are for boring lovers trying to be lively. I don't think I need any of those because I can keep things interesting without those.

[Tomoe]

*takes a shower*

Time to label this under 'threads to avoid"

HAHA XD

but I have to add, I love "you WILL cross the finish line." Next time I have sex, I'm gonna scream "I'M CROSSING THE FINISH LINE RIGHT...now."

[Tom]

Wow. OK. Well. Let's begin:


As for sex toys. I don't have any, and I'm not really supposed to since I'm a guy

First of all, when you say, "I'm not really supposed to since I'm a guy", you are implying that, to your knowledge, sex toys are made for women and men aren't supposed to have them.

To me, that says two things: 1) You are young and/or naive, therefore, you do not know enough about sex [yet] -or- 2) You have absolutely no imagination!

So, when you say, this:


I don't think I need any of those because I can keep things interesting without those.

--it makes me laugh. Because, I just can't help but imagine, in my head, some poor guy, who thinks he's the sex-king and blurts things out, like, "Ah keep mah wives satisfhad," and, meanwhile, the wives pleasure themselves with giant, pulsating, vibrating, talking dildos when hubby ain't around.

I'm sorry. There is actually nothing wrong with what you've said. I just think you are funny (in a, "laughing at you" kind of way). Truth is, I understand that lots of people have very exciting, fulfilling sex-lives without sex toys and they don't need them. But, I also understand that those people are probably the SAME kinds of people that are adventurous enough to try and enjoy things like sex toys.

So, when you say:


I honestly think sex toys are for boring lovers trying to be lively.

--I just have to disagree.

Hope you understand me, this time.

[Tomoe]

meanwhile, the wives pleasure themselves with giant, pulsating, vibrating, talking dildos when hubby ain't around.

I am addicted to this thread.

[Tom]

I am addicted to this thread.

*LIX*

EDIT: I need at least 10 characters to post this. :P

[shadowsvoice]

Wow, I feel so much more knowledgeable now.

[Gabi Star]

How can you say that sex toys are for boring couples? Spoken like someone who's a) never had anything but boring sex or b) has never had it, period.

Sex toys are wonderful! My boyfriend and I use something called a cock-ring. And christ, we had a great sex life before we introduced this little teaser. But when we first used it, we were both surprised on how hard we climaxed. It was amazing!

I also own a vibrator egg (for clitoral stimulation). It's shaped like a l (http://www.babeland.com/page/TIB/PROD/vibrators-bullet-eggs/DM329001)ittle pink bunny (http://www.babeland.com/page/TIB/PROD/vibrators-bullet-eggs/DM329001). Cute, huh? Also, I have a standard shower vibe (http://www.babeland.com/page/TIB/PROD/vibrators-slimline/DH215615). And they're fun to use with your partner! It changes things up! And it can inhance foreplay.

So, I'm not that freaky. I just like pleasure. Who doesn't?

[Tony]

Well, a big thumbs-up for massage oil... Just remember to put the cap back on when you're done. (personal experience) As for dildos and vibrators, I don't need 'em, but I'll use them on her if it'll help. I'm not into anal stimulation, so a butt plug isn't my idea of fun. As for cock rings... well, I haven't used one, so I can't write that off...

[Moose]

Wow, I feel so much more knowledgeable now.Don't we all.

Well, I just have to say this. This conversation has been extremely akward to read after actually posting everything, to see two people debating on sex toys. Quiet funny I have to say. Let me go in to it more now. I know that most anal sex toys are for men, but men aren't supposed, to my knowledge, to do it just for their pleasure, but because the woman want's him to. That's how I see it. I also am very open about sex toys, I just haven't used them and don't intend bring them up. But if they were brought up, I would use them. But I would not use them for my own pleasure, expecially not by myself. That's just my view on it (Yay for confessionals!). That's just for dildos actually, all that above.

Massage oil, cock-rings, ect. are ok by me, infact they are rather interesting, I'm just not into anal stimulation. When I think sex toys, I think dildos and anal beads, and I forgot to make that connection. Sorry for the mix-up.

[KingRoxas]

Wow, I feel so much more knowledgeable now.

That quote is Priceless :-D

[Clintykins]

I'd rather have a real flesh stick stimulating my anus than a rubbermade.

[Hikuro]

Posed is VERY kinky, I'm beginning to see it now :P

I've been in one relationship where my "girlfriend" uses a vibrator....course she would use it openly infront of me it's not like I cared either.
I got another friend whose curious on wanting one, hell even showed me a few she'd even like, but she can't get one cause she has no privacy what so ever and is pretty shy on that type of stuff.

As for anal sex......well.....nope never done it, I doubt I ever will, but know with a few ex girlfriends who I said "Atleast gotta try it once" and they refused....well now they do it and they say they actually really like it if it's done right.

In my opinion I don't know how it's done "right" since I've never performed it...porn is not an accurate portrayal of such events either.

[McCorvic Sucks]

Did you guys know that KY was used as the drool and slime for the Alien in the original Alien movie? Good times!

And this other time my SO and I got this massage oil, but it ended up being really sticky (like syrup sticky) and unfun.

That's all I have to add at this time.

[Gabi Star]

Posed is VERY kinky, I'm beginning to see it now :P

In my opinion I don't know how it's done "right" since I've never performed it...porn is not an accurate portrayal of such events either.

(: I'm not exceptionally kinky. Not more kinky than many of the people I know.

As for how to do it right, lots of lube. Lots and lots and lots of lube.

[ShockDingo]

Mwahahaha, I'm waiting till marriage too.

Though, I doubt I'll ever get married. So I'll die a virgin X3
Ditto, hehehe I'm the same. :XD
My opinions on the matter are quite simple; it's a decision between two people, and depending on certain factors like love, intimacy or whatever, I think it can be a beautiful thing, but then again I've never had it so I'm possibly just mumbling obvious crap, ta-ta for now everone :shutup

[ig.]

I got fuzzy handcuffs - woo

[Tomoe]

Sex Dice and actual handcuffs. For some reason, fuzzy handcuffs don't work for me.

And doing it in a public place is always fun...until you think you got caught and then I'm all like "omg I'm going to jail."

[shadowsvoice]

I would probably be up for handcuffs and such, but other than that, I dont think I would use any more toys.

[Moose]

Sex Dice, now theres a great invention.

[frogs]

Don't know about the rest a y'all, but any toys that helps the guy "cross the finish line" actually makes for worse sex. The trick is getting the ladies to cross the finish line (more than once maybe?) before the race is over...

And there are a lot of things that people find essential to sex that others find a little too much. Like some might say "I'm not satisfied til someone pisses in my mouth!". That is not to say that people who don't like drinking other people's urine are boring lovers. Same goes for toys/small mammals going up some one's ass. The anus is biologically designed for defecation. Any other uses are optional.

In fact, there's quite an interesting study in what's called "sexual desensitization". Much like a drug addict who needs to take larger doses of meth/herion/cocaine to get the same high, some people need to get kinkier and kinkier to be satisfied. It leads to disorders where one can't climax or even get turned on by conventional sex. It's getting more common these days.

There's nothing wrong with experimentation and more adventurous sex. But make sure you and your partner(s) don't end up going too far down the proverbial "slippery slope". If you find yourself not able to climax unless you're being choked... that might be a sign you need to chill out. Seek treatments, which have helped at least one good friend of mine. And please, don't judge people as boring just because the have regular sex...

That's up to their partner to decide.

[Gabi Star]

In fact, there's quite an interesting study in what's called "sexual desensitization". Much like a drug addict who needs to take larger doses of meth/herion/cocaine to get the same high, some people need to get kinkier and kinkier to be satisfied. It leads to disorders where one can't climax or even get turned on by conventional sex. It's getting more common these days.

Sexual Desensitation Studies are to see the corolation between certain drugs and sexual disfunction, not between sex and toys.

And to say that sex is desensitized by the use of toys would also mean that sex is desensitized by masturbation, which everyone knows is not the case at all!

[Tomoe]

This one time I heard of something so I decided to quote it inappropriately in a topic.

[frogs]

No no no... not physical desensitization of nerve endings or anything like that. We're talking about in the brain. Meaning that as you engage in more wild sex acts, it becomes "normal" and therefore not as exciting as it was the first time. This continues until one needs crazy senarios/situations to reach a basic level of arousal. Not physically, but in the mind. Example:

A guy no longer can get it up seeing his girlfriend naked lying on a bed. She needs to be tied up before he can get aroused. Pretty soon just being tied up isn't enough, she needs to be gagged and blindfolded too. Without doing this, he can't perform. Soon he starts to feel like even the gag and blindfold aren't enough and he finds himself fantasizing about cutting her a little with a small knife he has...

This is absolutely a real condition. If you don't believe me look it up. And studies show the problem is getting much more common these days. The question becomes, how do you manage the problem, and how do you make sure you don't cross a line into dangerous territory.

But it's interesting that you bring up mastrubation as well. Not sure about girls, but there is an interesting theory out there that the current generation of men are being raised on an unrealistic image of sex. That is, no longer do we get sex ed from parents or school health classes. We learn about sex from porn... the infinite supply of free porn on the web. Starting at age 11 or 12. I know a lot of kids know the difference between fantasy and reality... but even I find myself asking sometimes why I can't find an attractive girl. But my standard of attrativeness might be shaped by the years of looking at almost-too-perfect nude models. It's a subconcious thing that seeps in slowly.

By no means am I trying to critisize anyones bedroom activities. I just want y'all to have your fun safely so you can continue to have fun for a good long time.

[Tom]

I doubt that trying to have kinkier, more exciting and interesting sex is going to escalate to the point where someone actually ends up restraining, gagging and blindfolding their partner while they cut them up, to get off.

First of all, that is a very dramatic image to fear. Anyone who's going to get off on cutting someone else for sexual gratification is MENTALLY PRONE TO DOING SUCH THINGS, ANYWAY--regardless of whether or not they tried to get kinky.

People do not CATCH disorders by trying to mix it up a little in the bedroom. No matter how kinky some people may get, I'm pretty sure that almost NONE of them are going to begin physically harming each other for sexual gratification. I mean--does that shit turn you on? No? It doesn't turn me on. It probably doesn't turn anyone on, in this thread. Does that mean that if we all went out and bought a vibrator tonight, by tomorrow, we would be throwing wild, BDSM, leather sex parties and suddenly have an interest in cutting the flesh of another so's we can bust a nut?

My point is, the disorder is real and it does affect people. But, no matter how hard you try--would you become schizophrenic just because you intentionally began acting like one? No. It takes one to be one.

All of this just sounds like "Reefer Madness." Only, this time, it's "Dildos of Doom!" I just have to laugh.... Like, it's, all, anti-sex toy propaganda.



A . T O . B E . O R . N O T . T O . B E . P R O D U C T I O N
__________________________________________________ __________
DILDOS ..OF DOOM!
If you buy it... your genitals will belong to Lucifer!
__________________________________________________ __________

Cumming soon, to a leather swing, near you!

[McCorvic Sucks]

Guys, Tom wins. That's it. Thread over. :(

But yea, if masterbation, porn, or anything besides regular sex = insane-o sexual predator I would have found myself in jail LOOOOONG ago. Jerks.

[Windy*]

Dammit, Tom ALWAYS wins. :(

But that was good. 'Cause yea, I was thinking about pointing out how ridiculously extreme that particular point was, but Tom did it for me, and with more wit.

[Tomoe]

All of this just sounds like "Reefer Madness." Only, this time, it's "Dildos of Doom!" I just have to laugh.... Like, it's, all, anti-sex toy propaganda.

Reefer Madness = <3. Kristen Bell = love.

Also...like...I recall hearing that arguement about naked never becomes good enough, and how it escalates. But like...I never have trouble keeping it up when someone is naked or giving me a rub...and tying someone up doesn't = like sexual escalation.

The way you make it sound, it sounds like someone is addicted to kinkiness. Which like we all are, but it isn't something you can build a tolerance to. And besides, the D.o.Ds can't be THAT bad.

[Hikuro]

Perhaps this issue would come up for porn stars?
They tend to get kinkier and kinkier as time goes on.....probably cause they're sleeping with so many men it's hard for them to actually get off......hard to believe but there are those porn star girls who actually try and some even succeed in getting off on film.....

[McCorvic Sucks]

Perhaps this issue would come up for porn stars?
They tend to get kinkier and kinkier as time goes on.....probably cause they're sleeping with so many men it's hard for them to actually get off......hard to believe but there are those porn star girls who actually try and some even succeed in getting off on film.....

I was watching an interview with a pornstar on TV once (I believe it was Jenna Jameson) and she said that most pornstars treat their job and lovelives differently. They don't "get off" during filiming because, hey, it's just another day in the office. But when they get home they're sex lives are like anyone elses.

Or, so says the porn star. Oh well.

[Hikuro]

Well Jenna Jameson is a lil different from the others....she doesn't even perform male/female sex scenes anymore cause she's in a relationship of her own....most porn stars who develop relationships which they believe to be serious ones tend to go for same sex porn scenes cause it's not "cheating" in t heir opinion.

My favorite porn star Lily Thai actually orgasms in all her scenes...she's one of the few porn stars I'd actually watch and not feel boring, annoyed or what not around her.
lol dammit if I could I"d be a porn star!

[frogs]

Wow, ok... lets just tear some guys point apart because it isnt ALWAYS the case.

So maybe the fact that I live in LA (the porn capital, and weirdo capital of the world) skews my perspective a bit. Point is yes, you need to be prone to a sexual disorder in order to develope one. However, if someone IS prone, they should be aware of signs that they are slipping into it.

If you are not prone, its all good. But how do you know youre prone until its already happening?

Anyways, go get your vibrators and adult fun swings. Seriously. Do it. Go do it now!

[GravitasLost]

We learn about sex from porn... the infinite supply of free porn on the web. Starting at age 11 or 12. I know a lot of kids know the difference between fantasy and reality... but even I find myself asking sometimes why I can't find an attractive girl. But my standard of attrativeness might be shaped by the years of looking at almost-too-perfect nude models. It's a subconcious thing that seeps in slowly.

The interesting thing is that there is a counter-trand also happening in porn also.. a lot of people are getting more into amateur porn since the super
hot porn stars might be getting boring to them. Another interesing thing about porn is that the stars are much more veluptious than models and standard 'pretty' actresses. So that should be considered a huge plus for the non-petite
girls out there!

And the reason you can't find an attractive enough girl might be becuase you are not drinking enough beer. :)

[seifer_us]

Wow. This is an... interesting thread.

Just thought I'd hop in and offer my own thoughts, just because I don't think I've really seen anyone else in here with similar feelings on the matter.

I've had sex in a lasting relationship with one girl. I've also had short flings with two other girls. And by short, I mean one-night stand kind of short. You might think, "Hey, pretty typical guy." Right?

The difference is that I never wanted for those to be one night stands. I have always been the kind of guy who has difficulty having sex without an emotional connection. One of the girls was someone I'd been emotionally drawn to for quite some time, but she had never been available. When she went back to her ex the day after we finally had sex (he apparently called crying and pleading), I was devastated. Naturally, I didn't let her know it and I gave her the typical, "I'm still your friend and I still support you, blah, blah..." Which was mostly true, but in reality, of course, I actually felt hated, dejected, used, and even sexually inadequate regardless of whether any of it was really the case. She was, for the most part, unfazed.

Now, I also have friends who have open marriages and multiple partners. Does that work for them? Yes. They don't have any emotional or moral hangups over it. Would it work for me? Absolutely not. Even though I'm not exactly religious, my upbringing was founded in ideas that, while I don't agree with everything about them, I do think of them as good guidelines for living my own life. With that said, it's obvious that I am still the kind of person that believes in lasting love and marriage. I'm a dreamer and a hopeless romantic, but I also know that doesn't work for everyone, and that everyone has their own ways of living. I'm a person who loves sex, and sometimes I've gone through times where I thought I just wanted sex, but I know that it's just not an option for me.

Here's my point. What may seem innocent to you, may not always be so to others. In the midst of this sexual revolution, we may be tempted to think that everyone is okay with it. All I'm saying is that you should carefully weigh your actions and talk about things before you jump the gun. Understand fully where you and your partner(s) stand. I've known a lot more people than you'd think, male and female, who are like me and have gotten hurt because these things were never discussed and the other party never knew about how much it hurt them. Ignorance is bliss I suppose. You may say "that's a given" and that "no one in their right mind would jump blindly into sex like that". My point is that it doesn't have to be a complete stranger for there to be communication problems. I'm sure all of you have miscommunicated multiple things on multiple occasions with even your closest friends. Besides that, I'm sure you are ALL aware that sex can be a very spontaneous thing. Sex can give a fantastic feeling, but that feeling should never be gained at cost of someone else's feelings.

Anyway, speaking of miscommunications, I think it's time I ended this poorly worded sililoquey of mine. The one thing I do want to say is that it's truly hard to find anyone looking for real commitment anymore in this world, and that's hard on people like me, so my own opinion may be slightly biased because I'm bitter. ^_^;

[Tomoe]

OMG I am totally the type of person to not be in a open relationship. When someone is with me, I mean like 100%. But I understand why it works for some people. Here is a question I want to pose to you guys:

Why do you think men cheat?

I know a lot of women who think that men are genetically predisposed to cheating, while I think that is 100% bullshit.

[McCorvic Sucks]

Why do you think men cheat?

I know a lot of women who think that men are genetically predisposed to cheating, while I think that is 100% bullshit.

I dunno. I think we might be, in a way. I have this annoying habit to relate everything we do today with our ancient "caveman ways". Cavemen didn't have to stick with just one lady. They had a billion ladies! Heck, some cultures still maintain standards such as these. So, it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

That said, I don't approve of cheating and think it's a stupid thing to do. I don't really understand the logic of it either.

[Tom]

Why do you think men cheat?

I know a lot of women who think that men are genetically predisposed to cheating, while I think that is 100% bullshit.

Men cheat for the same reasons that anyone would cheat; as a person, involved in a romantic relationship with another person--surrounded by infinite combinations or possibilities of other people and situations--there is, equally, an infinite number of reasons why a man would cheat.

There may be genetic predisposition to certain gender related reasons of why people cheat, that vary from men and women; but, even if that is the case, I don't think such dispositions dramatically affect the odds of cheating for either gender, enough, to be of any reasonable concern.

It's like saying that men are genetically predisposed to enjoying scat. It has no real substance to its claim.

[seifer_us]

OMG I am totally the type of person to not be in a open relationship. When someone is with me, I mean like 100%. But I understand why it works for some people. Here is a question I want to pose to you guys:

Why do you think men cheat?

I know a lot of women who think that men are genetically predisposed to cheating, while I think that is 100% bullshit.

I've actually known just as many women as I know men that have cheated on their partner. I think it's all relative. Some places just have higher percentages in one direction or the other. I'm one of the few that thinks that there is very little difference between men and women. I tend to think both sexes have similar or identical reasoning for cheating. Some studies would say that men sometimes cheat out of a desire to reattain their youth or reaffirm their ability to charm someone. Some say women cheat to reaffirm that they are desireable when they feel ignored. And then sometimes members of both sexes cheat when they just happen to be really horny and are tempted by someone attractive. As for me, I could never imagine cheating on someone, but I've also never put myself in a position where that would be compromised, so... there you go.

I can say that I've been through something where I thought it was clear that we were separated and then I ended up with another girl and then after that didn't work out, the previous girl and I got back together again and when I told her about the other girl she accused me of cheating. I then spent a good three weeks trying to get her to realize that wasn't the case. Again, that goes back to what I said in my last post about miscommunication. I made a mistake by thinking that it was understood that we were broken up instead of just spending some time apart, when really I hadn't made things clear enough. Oddly enough, recently a girl that I've been friends with went through almost the same experience, only with the roles reversed. I think people just like to assign stereotypes to certain genders. Sometimes people just make mistakes. It's part of being human.

One more thing on the subject of cheating. Forgiveness is divine, but being too naive is a road to hurt. If it happens once, try to forgive them, but there is a boundary line. I've known a lot of people who've been hurt from bringing a chronic cheater back into their lives over and over again.

Ah, but wait! There is one interesting theory I've heard as to why it can often seem like men cheat more. It may be because married men have more women that find them attractive than single men do. The theory states that married men are initially more attractive to a lot of women because they represent the cultural ideal of stability in a partner. Like I said though, that's more of a cultural notion than a genetic thing, so I suppose we'd blame society for that rather than genetics. >_<;

Anyway, I'm not the type to believe in one specific idea on a subject. There are lots of theories on this and I can't say which are valid and which are invalid.

[GravitasLost]

If I had to say why people cheat.. A major reason is becuase people are trapped in
relationships or marriages that aren't working yet they can't escape from them financially or even emotionally. Sometimes your other just can't give you what you
need for whatever reason on all sorts of different levels..

I think Thoreau said it best:

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

And by men he means mankind.. both men and women. Lots of people are forced to suffer quietly in this world. If you've ever been in a bad relationship, you will understand this all
too well..

[Cordelia LeFay]

This is the best thread evar.

I read somewhere once that people cheat cuz sex has been characterized in our culture as "new and exciting." Thus, the reason why peeps with amazing partners (think Kobe Bryant, Halle Barry's ex hubby), feel the need to cheat.

[Gabi Star]

This is the best thread evar.

I read somewhere once that people cheat cuz sex has been characterized in our character as "new and exciting." Thus, the reason why peeps with amazing partners (think Kobe Bryant, Halle Barry's ex hubby), feel the need to cheat.

Thats an interesting perspective on it!

I personally think people cheat for one of two reasons- the thrill of doing something risky, or because they're looking for a fufillment their aren't getting from their partner.

[Tom]

Tom's Semi-Pseudo-SocioCulturalogical Exploration of: Cheating & Sexual Morality

Cheating is defined as being "sexually unfaithful to one's partner." What does it mean to be unfaithful? To betray? Be dishonest? Lie? Perhaps, all of these things can be used to describe being "unfaithful." But, what enables these things to exist? The short answer: Monogamy.

Western society generally regards love and romance as the building blocks to, pretty much, everyone's goal--acquiring a life-partnering, baby-making, sexually freeing relationship with another person. We see the ultimate design for love as a bond between two people; monogamy.

But, what makes monogamy the correct way to morally conduct a relationship? The fun answer: Nothing. We are monogamous people, because, we are conditioned to be, from the moment we are born and find ourselves depending on a very essential relationship between two people--our parents. Movies, television, music and social environment all tell us that we need to find that one special person and hold on for dear life!

Sometimes, however, monogamy is not what someone is looking for. Do people like this really exist? Yes! Are they all dirty dogs and playahs and pimps and bitches and ho's? No. There are many people out there that are happily partnered in a committed relationship, but, choose to leave their sexual relationship open. "Wait, what does that mean?!"

That means that, while, Bob loves Mary and Mary loves Bob, they view "love" and "sex" as seperate entities and liberate themselves from sexual monogamy--so, even though Bob and Mary love each other, Bob might get it on with Mary's friend Betty, and Mary may do the dirty with their mutual friend, Russ, and maybe, sometimes, Bob will watch, or, Mary will join in--doing it all through trust, honesty and respect.

Consider Bob and Mary's relationship. They love each other, but they have sex with other people. Is this cheating? Maybe not. Are either of them being unfaithful? They aren't lying to each other about it, they are honest with each other about their activities--sometimes even sharing experiences, together, with other people--so, if they agree on "sex" and "love", allow and encourage each other to have happy, healthy sex lives and trust each other and always tell the truth to each other, then, they aren't betraying each other.

Is what they're doing, wrong? Some people may say "yes"--but, Bob and Mary may disagree. You cannot define what "love" and "sex" mean for someone else, just like they cannot define them for you.

So, all of this, considered.... To have a monogamous relationship is to enable the concept of cheating. If a relationship is defined to include sexual exclusivity for two partners, then, the act of having sex with a person outside the relationship is a necessary shadow to be cast from the ideal situation. People cheat because monogamy tempts them to--enables them to.

In conclusion, I would just like to say: You don't have to have an open relationship with your partner--but, if you and your partner trust each other and are always honest, true, respectful and open with each other, such simple communication will become a good foundation for a fulfilling relationship.

Honesty is the best policy!

[Windy*]

That was just beautiful, Tom.


...But in all seriousness, I'd never thought about it that way, and it's intriguing. Makes me reconsider my beliefs on the whole sex partner thing up until now, so thanks for the input. I never really bought the all-too-simple answer of, "The sex isn't good enough." Though I'm sure it is true for some. :P

[seifer_us]

Just like Thomas said, there are different ways to be faithful. Emotional bonds, trust, and a mutual respect can be present in all different kinds of relationships; monogamous or not.

I do have to say though, that I still find it endearing that with all the breakups and divorces in the world, my grandparents on either side as well as my own parents have led incredibly happy, secure, wonderful, and trustfilled relationships. In many ways I think it's a lot easier to achieve that in a polygamous relationship, but somehow they've managed to do it all the same. I think, regardless of belief, it's a very noble sort of lifestyle. Just the fact that one person can find the willpower (and it does require a lot to get through those hard times) to remain committed, physically and emotionally, to one person for that long. I think that's something special.

So while I think that polygamy can definitely work and allows you a lot more options (heck, I've even thought about trying out an open relationship myself at one point), I'm personally just so tied to that image of my parents. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, either. Because, obviously, it IS possible to have that. So, in the end, I choose not to give up on it, and my only regret now is that it's a lot harder to find than it used to be... (;_; )

Of course, the hardest thing for me now is finding someone who still feels like I do who isn't all "fire and brimstone", if you get my drift... :D

In the end it's all up to choice. Everyone has something they want out of a relationship. Who are we to say that they can't have that? Do what makes you happy, people!

One last thing; the danger of emotional cheating is still a very real risk regardless of what kind of relationship you're in. Unless of course you just have a f*ck buddy, in which case it doesn't really matter. :P

Oh, and naturally, whatever choice you make, be safe! AIDS is still running rampant out there and it's not like the situation has gotten much better. Regular testing and all that. Hell, in some places it's free! I have a clinic that does it for free 10 minutes from my home and I live in Podunk, Nowhere! You have no excuse for not doing it other than fear of the results, and it seems to me that the general concensus on this board is that you shouldn't live in ignorance.

Ok, I'm done now... ^_^;;

[Cordelia LeFay]

So, monogamy is not the natural state of human sexuality? ;)

I'm just teasin'.

But seriously though, if monogamy is a social construction--does that mean polygamy is a natural construction or can that be a social construction as well?

Like, I don't buy the whole anthro-biological argument sometimes. Like, so what your progeny survives? Who cares if you have the most of your genes out there in the gene pool? Like, what does that have to do with anything? Why should that matter to a creature who's gonna die anyways?

[Tom]

But seriously though, if monogamy is a social construction--does that mean polygamy is a natural construction or can that be a social construction as well?

I think anything other than mating for procreation (like our earlier primate predecessors instinctually did) can be considered a social construct. Once we start getting into how to have sex, who to have sex with, morally assigning standards for sex, etc., we started socially constructing sexual matters. Monogamy, polygamy, polyamorism, etc.--those are all human concepts--shaped through societal and cultural influences into the sexual constructs.

That's my view on it, anyway! :-D

[Cordelia LeFay]

Thanks Tom. ^_^

[Gabi Star]

It's been a while since anyone posted here. So lets bring it back to life!

So I watched the movie Kinsey last night. It's a pretty intense movie, not to mention Oliver Platt is in it (and I adore Oliver Platt). While researching quotes from the movie, I stumbled across this review (http://christiananswers.net/spotlight/movies/2004/kinsey2004.html). I personally find it highly amusing.

[Deiji]

I think you should only really have sex with someone you love. If you're single, then one night stands aren't too bad as long as there aren't too many of them.
I know that sex is a completely natural thing. Like men think about sex a lot because they are programmed to repoduce. They are also more attracted to curvy women than skinny or overweight women because curvy women are more likely to have healthier babies.

So my thoughts on sex are it's just simple and natural. There's absolutley no reason to be shy talking about it, cus hey, everyone does it!

[Doki-Chan]

I was going to write a long paragraph opinion, but I'll just put my opinion in this one sentence.....

I think Sexuality is a very important part of one's life, I think people shouldn't be supressed to it but instead be able to explore it. (Unless its a personal choice to not take part or to hold off on taking part in it of course ^_^)

[fruitfly]

SEX.

Sex is like getting a tattoo.. if someone wants to do it, let him. It's his body. Sure, what he wants to get may look fucking stupid, and he may be stuck with something awful for the rest of his life, but that's his choice.

I have been in a loving relationship for over four years now. We don't have sex. Not the real real sex, with the penor in the vagoo and such. I love him. I want to do it with him. But I don't want BABIES.

Sex = BABIES

Even with protection, there is always a risk of BABIES. I'm 23. I have no need for BABIES running around my house, fucking up my Christmas. Once there are BABIES, life can no longer revolve around video games and anime voice acting. That's gross.

BABIES... eww.

There are so many other nice things to do that make BABIES.

Oh, and another thing: Porn is fine, too.

[Aurianna]

Funny Fruitfly... as I really want babies.... but don't want to have sex. *scratches head*

Adopting babies from China, anyone?

[Gabi Star]

Condoms are 99.7% effective. That 0.3% of chance then falls to rhythmic circumstances- your chances of getting pregnant with unprotected sex is about 25%.

Birthcontrol is almost flawless, and taking the pill AND using condoms mean only a freak accident (or freak stupidity) can get you pregnant.

Don't be afraid to have sex just because of Babies. There are many many MANY ways to get around that small factor.

[Moose]

I suggest that he wears 8 condoms, spraying them with jizz-be-gone (or whatever it's called), you use a diaphram, and afterwards, take birth control pills. If you got pregnant, I would probably consider your boyfriend God.

[Taryn]

I suggest that he wears 8 condoms, spraying them with jizz-be-gone (or whatever it's called), you use a diaphram, and afterwards, take birth control pills. If you got pregnant, I would probably consider your boyfriend God.

No no, birth control pills BEFORE sex. Morning-after pill AFTER sex. We don't want any babies popping out after the eight condoms, jizz-be-gone, and diaphram. ;)

[Moose]

Oh, my bad. Ok birth control, 8 condoms, jizz-be-gone, diaphram, then morning after pill. That should be pretty safe.

[ShockDingo]

Nothing says security like preperation ;)

[Aurianna]

I suggest that he wears 8 condoms, spraying them with jizz-be-gone (or whatever it's called), you use a diaphram, and afterwards, take birth control pills. If you got pregnant, I would probably consider your boyfriend God.

I'm 99% sure you're kidding about the 8 condom thing. But in case you're not, or only kinda kidding... I think I read that more than one condom is bad? I can't remember why... breaks easier? Or... I don't remember. But there was a reason. Just one condom. Yeah.


Sex. *shudder*

*runs away*

[Tomoe]

Wearing two condoms increases friction on them both and can cause them to break. I think. And 8 condoms? You might as well not even have sex.

I'm not the condom expert, 'cuz my woman is on the pill!

[fruitfly]

Condoms are 99.7% effective. That 0.3% of chance then falls to rhythmic circumstances- your chances of getting pregnant with unprotected sex is about 25%.

Birthcontrol is almost flawless, and taking the pill AND using condoms mean only a freak accident (or freak stupidity) can get you pregnant.

Don't be afraid to have sex just because of Babies. There are many many MANY ways to get around that small factor.

If I worked in a condom factory, I would carry a needle with me to work. Every day. I wonder how many more there are like me out there?

I kid, I kid. However, for as paranoid as I am about babies, my boyfriend is 10 times worse.

"Umm, sweetie.. When I was sleeping next to you, my penis kind of came out of my boxers and what if maybe it had precum on it and it touched the back of your pants and the sperm swam through two layers of clothing and got into your vagina and then you got pregnant?"

At least we're dysfunctional together. I told him to wear some goddamn pyjamas.

[ShockDingo]

Hehehe wow, if that was possible it'd be the most coincidental pregnacy ever

[Tomoe]

Wow...that is totally neurotic :)

[Gabi Star]

That's so sexually frustrating! D:

Sex makes the world go around. I suggest you guys try it sooner or later.

[Aurianna]

"Umm, sweetie.. When I was sleeping next to you, my penis kind of came out of my boxers and what if maybe it had precum on it and it touched the back of your pants and the sperm swam through two layers of clothing and got into your vagina and then you got pregnant?"
Heh... a couple of years ago, my boy was in Germany, and I went to visit, we shared a shower for the first time (meaning, we each used it, not we used it together).

When I got back to school after the trip... I ended up being a good week late. So my roommate and I decided that I was pregnant (not really). At first we thought maybe there were sperm in the shower... and they like... slid up the wall via capillary action, and then maybe I backed into the wall or something. But then we decided that it was just the next coming... so I named my stomach Earl and wore a big, baggy sweatshirt one day and stuffed a pillow in it and my roommate and would tell random friends that I was giving birth to the next Jesus and I just had a grand old time... and then a week later we sang the "Earl Had to Die" song every so often.... and yeah...

TMI everyone!!!

Yes... I'm crazy. You gotta understand my roommate and I though...

[Kuro]

That's so sexually frustrating! D:

Sex makes the world go around. I suggest you guys try it sooner or later.

For our younger folks later greater than sooner ;D k?

[caejones]

Here's my theory on why monogamy develops- and therefore, why love and sex tend to be associated in the "moral standards" part of society.

And naturally this stems from ancient concepts -- the methods of birth control were much less simplistic back then.

Sex=chance of babies
babies=need care
good care=love, or at least acting like it
sex=love

And this is connected to monogamy in that commitments that are strong (as monogamy intends) would, in theory, mean that there is love that is strong.

But this screws up a lot for many reasons already stated-- people don't see love in that way (and as Tom said, that's not necessarily a bad thing), but still associate a different kind of love with a concept that is linked with this kind-- so many people wind up in failing relationships, but have kids, and therefore we have a hard time.




Porn, I'm flat out against, but I couldn't construct a decent argument against it, so please don't flame over it...
Which brings me to another topic.

The visual side of sexual attraction, interest, Etc. (did I put too many 't's in atraction? -.-).
How big a deal are the images?

As for me, my left eye has never worked, and my right eye hasn't been at full strength in a good 15 years. I could still see well enough to participate in the world, draw, video games, even made a few halfway decent cartoons and actionfigure movies (which is where I learn about balancing music and voices! . Around the time that stuff started to work there... my right eye got much weaker (I blame the atmosphere of Las Vegas.).

But, This was also around the time that I met a few other people with visual imparements (I can never remember how to spell that), and I found that the community of blind and low-vision people is hardly different from the sighted community-- I'm just a freak altogether, it would seem. :).

I don't really want to say more at this time...

[Kuro]

I'm just a freak altogether, it would seem. :).

I don't really want to say more at this time...

Freak my ass you're an inspiration.

[caejones]

That's definitely not the response I was expecting...

[Gabi Star]

Freak my ass you're an inspiration.

Hey, don't be a dick.

COMPLETELY uncalled for.

[Gabi Star]

Porn, I'm flat out against, but I couldn't construct a decent argument against it, so please don't flame over it...
Which brings me to another topic.

The visual side of sexual attraction, interest, Etc. (did I put too many 't's in atraction? -.-).
How big a deal are the images?


I'd like for you to try to construct a good arguement against pornography. Is it that you are against some pornography or all?

Also, my personal opinion? Physical attraction is just as important as anything else in a relationship.

[caejones]

Meh. My definition of porn is imagery intended for sexual stimulation. Ok, not a good definition, but it gets the point across. I don't think nudity is necessarily porn. We were born naked, for godness' sake... but if it's not part of a senario, and we just say "Hey, look at this person! That's hot isn't it?" I just don't like that. And I can't really say why other than I think it's wrong... I'm sure I could BS my way through a foundation in that argument... but it'd probably be just that, BS... eh, give me a day and I might figure out what I'm talking about on this subject...

My view on physical atraction is that it's based mainly on the natural part -- the parents need to contribute the best features possible to their offspring, or display that they're capable of caring for themselves and/or the children. The whole being human thing can over ride or amplify that however we consider to be correct.

[Taryn]

I'm agreeing with Nikkita. There's always the idea going around that it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, as the inside is what counts. And that's true. But the fact of the matter is, if you're not attracted to someone, you're not going to have a successful romantic relationship. This is one of the big things that separates friends from romantic interests: the physical, passionate side of the relationship. I don't mean that every couple needs to be having sex, but if there isn't a mutual physical attraction, you're not going to get the sparks a relationship needs.

Of course, long-term relationships also require an emotional connection, but that's a different subject. ;)

[Kuro]

Hey, don't be a dick.

COMPLETELY uncalled for.


...I wasn't being sarcastic o_O I was being very serious...

[GravitasLost]

I completely agree. without physical attraction, you really can't have a functional realtionship. Luckily for all of us we are attracted to different things (some of us more different than others.) Also, emotional attraction is really important for me (and
most people) as well. I find women with big but non-materialistic dreams or unique talents really attractive.

As for porn, if you ask me.. Hugh Hefner was perhaps one of the greatest
heros and champions of free-speech of the 20th century. He deserves
every ounce of what he has IMO.. Him and others like George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, even Larry Flynn all pushed the boundaries, and made a difference.

I for one am very thankful for the progress they made towards making this a freer country! I often wonder if we'd be allowed to have this conversation
today if it weren't for them, and others like them..

[caejones]

Physical attraction doesn't make much sense to me past the idea I put forth earlier. But that's probably just me being weird, so nya.

[peachgirldb]

I don't know. I believe in sexual freedom and stuff, mostly, but I also am really uncomfortable sometimes. Like someone said earlier, why should I be embarassed to talk about sex with someone I love and am maybe even having sex with? But life is still like that sometimes.

[McCorvic Sucks]

It's time for another episode of "Let's Adk the 1950's!"

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/49161/

[Gabi Star]

It's time for another episode of "Let's Adk the 1950's!"

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/49161/

"It's been noted that very few blind people join the nudist colonies"

"These misfits! These homosexuals who have a slogan that portrays the evil of the breed!"

Priceless.

[Hikuro]

Friend of mine that I work with told me 2 months ago she was a virgin, was gonna wait until she was married and yada yada. We had this long discussion on how not too many people these days go by that choice, it's around but pretty much down graded to "atleast fallen in love". She thought that sounded reasonable, but with her family background (she's blaming this cause she's spanish) that she'd have to wait or her family would think of her as a slut. YET HOWEVER her mother is always bugging her if she's got a boyfriend and or having sex, which Aide kept replying "No".

Well few days ago I opened with her and she came up to me going "I lost it". Course being the oblivious me was like "Huh? Your car keys?" ".....Stupido...I LOST IT" ".......0_o......ooooohhhh....."
Explained to me that she woke up real early that morning and called up a friend of hers (not me ;_;) and asked for a favor, and that was to loose her virginity cause she was sick of people making fun of her....I never made fun of her though :P so don't blame me.
So he said "Well okay sure, but I'm getting married soon, but I can consider this like the last thing I'll do to enjoy being a single guy before I'm tied down" Yeah right.

Well that entire day she was freaking out like any girl would after loosing her virignity and not knowing jack on what to do next. She said she waited 25 years for this and it was like NOTHING had happened. i went to correct her that she didn't wait 25 years :P you can't wait on the day you were born to get laid, that's too much sexual frustration.

Yesterday she was now telling me how liberated and less bitchy she feels now that she had sex, though it was only a once thru deal...which I did poke fun at cause on my first time I atleast went at it a few more times before I called it a day....this guy just stuck it in, did his bussniess and left.

Then to throw the whole day into chaos she started asking me about kids and wanting to get married, I told her sure I'd be into that someday but not right now, no one would wanna marry me.
She then replied "Well why don't we get married?"......jaw dropped stunned : / I hope she's kidding....I think she might be taking the loss of her virginity a bit much.

[ShockDingo]

Heheh wow dude, interesting story:D

[Tomoe]

Awkward story. And since I doubt she had an orgasm, I'm willing to say the whole "being liberated and less bitchy" thing stems from her being like "Woohoo, I finally had sex."

[Gabi Star]

Awkward story. And since I doubt she had an orgasm, I'm willing to say the whole "being liberated and less bitchy" thing stems from her being like "Woohoo, I finally had sex."

You beat me to it.

[Tomoe]

Omg Gabs, R We Liek Twinz?

[Gabi Star]

i think we r bcuz we totly luk a lil alike lol but ur albanian n im lebaneze, so u no lol

[Hikuro]

Yeah pretty awkward huh? My boss told her today that I had a few sites planned and yada yada, and then suddenly the conversation got really strange as every girl in the cafe' decided they wanted to have my childern. Now it's one thing in a convention when you wear a cosplay outfit girls are gonna go crazy over and get the "OMIGOD HAVE MY CHILDERN!".......but you know, I guess I'm just dead sexy in an apron baking cookies....or so I'm told.

So yeah we talked about it and we came to terms that we should just declare it as one big joke and move on....till she told me she had her friends over dropping her off to work and she wanted me to meet them all.
Then she told me that it probably wouldn't work cause her dad wants her to marry a guy that atleast knows spanish and I don't have any interest what so ever in learning it, it's just not something I want.

But yeah so back to her loss of virginity, I'm still poking at her that the guy she banged only did her ONE time, I mean k'mon guys......one time? .......that's pretty sad don't you think? I would of nailed her a few more times that morning.....I'm sure she had plenty of time.
Told her next time she wants to feel "Liberated" to call me.
But she's back to being sort of like a bitch, every hour I hear "Fucking men"....she's a femmienazi, I really believe that.
Oh that reminds me, I forgot to explain to her what choking the chicken meant.

[Tomoe]

http://www.escapade.co.uk/cgi-bin/ProductImages/Category_104/macho2_c.jpg

[Gabi Star]

You don't have to be a "feminazi" to be completely turned off by men coming on to you. I'm going to assume she confided in you as someone she trusted. I'm pretty sure I can safely say that taking advantage of the fact that she was emotional (liberated or otherwise) seemed like a pretty dick thing to do.

[Windy*]

Oink Oink Oink

[Chris Nagy]

Who the fuck makes their first time a booty call? With a guy who is engaged to someone else, or at the very least in a serious relationship, no less. I can agree somewhat that saying those sorts of things while her state of mind is slightly altered is a bit dickish... but she's no saint; she practically ordered takeout fornication. I've got nothing against calling a friend, but if she basically wanted to be dehymenated (is that a word?) there are a number of ways that don't involve someone who is going to get married soon.

That whole situation sounds too screwed up to even try and beat anyone in particular with a blame stick.

[Tomoe]

Oh yeah, I totally forgot that he was getting married soon.

/sad.

I hate it when guys do that; they give us all a bad rep.

[Chris Nagy]

Guys don't do it; people do it. It takes two to cheat, unless one party is unaware that the other has some sort of relationship going on.

[Hikuro]

.......Scary thing too, she came to work with a wedding dress book...big thick 5 inch book on dresses for men and women and showed me the design she'd like to have on her wedding. I guess she's actually seeing someone, it's really hard to tell with her cause she never brings the subject up, funny she can bring sex up with me, but not her relationships, I don't get it.
So yeah apparently she's been seeing someone and they're talking about marriage recently, which is like "WTF?! Why didn't you bang him?! How do you think he feels!?" I was in utter shock....
I've NEVER cheated on my girlfriends before, I've been in relationships were it's a friend with benefits so I see other people, but an actual girl I'm dating, NEVER I pretty much cease all relations with women I'm "screwing" at any given point.

I dunno.....she's a rather confusing girl going from "liberated" to "bitchy" to "Omigod I can't believe I'm not a virgin anymore I'm so happy!" then to find out "Oh I'm talking marriage with my boyfriend"....and she's even said "Hey lets get married" to me, .....I...this is why I don't like dating.

[Tomoe]

Like she totally needs like Prozac or something then. So weird ><

[ShockDingo]

Dude, this is starting to get really weird and head thumpingly confusing

[Tomoe]

...Like Lifetime weird and head thumpingly confusing.

[Windy*]

Actually it's just getting offensive and stupid. I foresee a good locking in the future, since people have taken the subject in the wrong direction. :D

[Hikuro]

Don't worry I'm done, I'm stepping off my podium for now.

[Tecknic]

I am Pro-Sex. But I'm a guy, and in college, so it's to be expected.:-D

[tygerchickchibi]

I just want to say this.

I admire you, Gabi_Star, you're so open, and make me comfortable enough to speak my mind. xD Now I'm going to see if I can get that stuff you and your boyfriend use.

@_@ losing my virginity was weird...I lost it to a boyfriend, but...er...I didn't feel anything. xD I was always the type of person who wanted to wait until I was married, but... I guess that didn't go as planned >.>;;;

Sometimes I regret it, because I always wanted it to be my first love..xD I had that opportunity before hand, but I cried and cried to him because it hurt so much...xD And he wasn't even all the way in. Anyway, I was a chicken to lose it, so I thought I'd be a virgin forever.

Well, now I'm with my current boyfriend who I've dated for 2 years. And I have a great sex life(not that anyone cares; I just felt like saying it).
We're just really intimate, even if it's "dirty," or "romantic." He always says how much he loves me, and it makes me so happy to hear it. xD I never heard of a guy saying it so much before, and I'm not that experienced in sexual foreplay. I find myself getting shy nowadays. >.>;; it's weird.


I think it just matters what kind of person you're with, because you could get married, have kids, or have sex or whatever, but what if a month or so, even a year later, you get a divorce. It's just like a breakup, except everything is documented.

Sometimes, you don't know until you just go for it. To me, it's risky...xD You could get married and have the worst sex ever. HAHAHA...

Anyone ever done it in a strange place before? I don't mean to be nosy..well, yes I do. xD I mean...It's kind of interesting, but I promise I won't laugh. >.>;; I'll go first.

In the car. In the middle of the highway, while driving. xD I'm not going to explain how...I'm leaving it at that.

xD I'm so embarrassed now.

[Gabi Star]

I just want to say this.

I admire you, Gabi_Star, you're so open, and make me comfortable enough to speak my mind. xD Now I'm going to see if I can get that stuff you and your boyfriend use.


Oh my goodness! That makes me feel soooo warm and fuzzy inside, Tyger! <3

(He's my ex-boyfriend now, but XD thats okay)

[Hikuro]

...........<_< >_>....movie theater..........trick is to 1) go during a weekday 2) a movie no one wants to really go see 3) make it quick......the ushers make their rounds every 20 minutes or so....

It was interesting though.....can't remember what movie it was though.....

[tygerchickchibi]

xD good job, Hikuro! But it must not have been an interesting movie to watch, though. Was it empty in the theatre? XD i'd probably slap the shit out of my boyfriend, though. I'm way too shy in public places.

[Crimson]

I haven't done it in a weird place, but my bf and I have fooled around in the backseat of a greyhound bus... though we had to stop when someone came to the back to use the bathroom : /.

In any case, I'm moving in with my first boyfriend (well I have had a girlfriend, so it's not quite as creepy as it sounds), tomorrow... err today I guess (I can't sleep!)
I'm really excited. Last year (during the school year), we lived 45 minutes apart, which got so frustrating (my sex drive doesn't operate on a timed schedule you know x.x), that and I could swear the girl in the room next to me could hear us every time we did it XD;

Oh, and he said he bought me something to amuse me the week before school starts (here's to hoping it's a sex toy lol).

[Hikuro]

Yeah I was bugging my ex about that too about 20 minutes ago going "Hey you remember that time in the theater?" ".....wait when.." "Yeah" "......sure what about it?" "What was the movie?" "You don't remember?" "Nope! Do you?" "It was Missions Impossible 2" "0_o wait I saw Mission impossible 2?!" "No not really"

See, I learn something new everyday.

But yeah I was a little nervous at first but I was the one who made the move cause there wasn't anyone there at the time, and it sounded cool. It's not like I'm gonna be going on an airplane and joining the mile high club anytime soon.

[tygerchickchibi]

I don't ever think that I would join the Mile High Club. xD
For one, I'm a germaphobic, and secondly...it's a cramped spot. x_x

I wonder why people get a thrill of trying to do something so risky, eh?

o_o oh wait, Hikuro...

xD I thought Mission Impossible was something everyone wanted to see?!?

[Taryn]

I wonder why people get a thrill of trying to do something so risky, eh?

...because it's risky! XD

[tygerchickchibi]

xD Man...people are weird.

[Nikki Wright]

I'm sorry, but a majority of the active members at the VAA are under 18, with a lot of those very same users being at, or just over, the age of 13. Basically, this thread is talking explicitly about sex/sex lives/preferences/etc, and it doesn't, exactly, provide the most positive image for the users, or the forum. I understand that this thread was for people to not feel silenced when it comes to conversations about sex, but in situations where there are minors, especially such young minors, I feel that something like this is better suited for more private means.